No more Mr. Nice guy!

[Anonymous]

I was a nice guy. I have tried to date many different types of women, of different ages.

I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be. I never expected more then for people to treat me the way I treated them. Women have tried to take advantage of my niceness, rejected me, treated me like shit. My whole life.

I've now had enough.

Here is one example of many, of how nice guys get treated.

Last week I was at a pool hall I frequent, and chatting with people, including a girl I'd been flirting with, who was flirting with me. As the night went on and people were moving around I noticed that she had forgot her sweater at a table she had moved from. Following my instinct, I grabbed it and took it to her and asked if it was hers. "Yes. Thanks. Wow your just a nice guy aren't you?" I could tell by her tone that I'd blown it. Sure enough that was the end of her flirting. When she went to leave I said I'll "Nice to see you" to which she rolled her eyes at her friend and they laughed as they went out the door.

A lifetime of being nice has got me nothing in the dating world. Women say I'm a keeper, a great catch, but don't want me. So-
I'm done. No more mr. nice guy.

There is a reason for the saying nice guys finish last. Because it's true.

Guys, don't waist part of your life like I did, hoping a woman will see your worth and value your nice guy nature. In my experiance, women don't want nice guys.

If they did, the saying would be "bad boys finish last".

If they did, then nice guys would have dates and not just heartaches.

[lumos]

"I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be. I never expected more then for people to treat me the way I treated them."

*goes on to explain how he doesn't want to be nice anymore because girls reject him*

If you truly were nice and didn't expect anything in return, you wouldn't stop being nice just because SOME girls might lose interest or because SOME people don't return the favor by being nice back.
Basically, you were using your "niceness" just to get with girls. And now that a few girls haven't reciprocated, you suddenly feel as though it's pointless to be nice.
1. Girls are not machines that you can put niceness coins in, and then expect sex and relationships to fall out.
2. Being nice to people should be rewarding in itself, knowing that you're doing good things and being a good person. It shouldn't matter if not everyone is showing appreciation for it.

You're p much acting like you're being selfless and humble. You're not. You're being selfish.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Ace.

[lumos]

And the reason why the term isn't "bad boys finish last" is because "nice guys" like you do nothing but whine and throw pity parties. And the so-called "bad boys" you're talking about? They're simply guys with confidence who don't give a damn about rejection and what people think about them. Hence, they don't whine and make a fuss about shit.

[MakeitOrDieTrying]

You nailed it lol. Truly nice people don't expect anything in return and thus they are not dissapointed at the results because they had no expectation in the first place!

This guy is talking about how he doesn't expect anything more but then becomes dissapointed because he got rejected... hypocrite haha. FAKE NICE GUY.

[lumos]

@MakeitOrDieTrying yes, pretty much.

[Mesonfielde]

They might care a bit, but they are not bogged down by it, and most certainly don't throw a fuss about not being liked just because they feel entitled to be liked after putting So Much Effort into "making the girl like him", hah.

I don't even really understand why we are calling confident people "bad". They clearly are not.

[heavensgift2girls]

"If you truly were nice and didn't expect anything in return" This isn't true at all. All human socialization is based on treating a person a certain way, in order to get your desired type of response. This isn't evidence that he is some horrible and manipulative person that only pretends to be nice in order to get into women's pants.

Of course he wants a woman in his life and is frustrated that his efforts have been in vain so far. There is nothing wrong with that. He has simply misidentified the reason for not having a girlfriend, and is struggling with how to become the kind of man that a woman will want, without changing who he really is at his core. At this point he most likely feels desperate, like he may need to change into another person, in order to not remain alone forever. That is not a good feeling to have. A person has to be in a lot of pain to reach the point they give up being who they are.

[Mesonfielde]

@heavensgift2girlsgirls except even then, you are supposed to at least be able to see if they are receptive to being treated a certain way according to the unwritten socialization script. Which they usually don't, because not all females are the same, and I am not surprised they find it somewhat offensive when you treat them as if they were.

[Mesonfielde]

@heavensgift2girls my keyboard is retarded. Curse you Google!

[Mesonfielde]

Actually, I used to be a "nice guy"

But then I realized I was being a manipulative dumbass who has zero clue what the fuck other people are doing because I had no idea what empathy was, how to use it, or how to properly assess social cues and non-verbal emotional elements (while me not displaying any of those as I had no idea how they work, of course)

Anyways, if she did not find you attractive, that's not because you gave her her coat.

I'll just delegate you to Jenna Marbles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI

[Hidden_P]

I love Jenna

[DawnWatcher]

Ironically, the friend I was in love with (and being nice to) is a fan of Jenna. However, I couldn't make her fall in love with me LOL.

[Mesonfielde]

@DawnWatcher well, people either find you attractive or they don't. If they do find you attractive, then they need to find you likeable enough thst they would want to date you. Then even if they want to date you, you two must be aware of this, and the circumstances need to be right so that a relationship is worth pursuing. Then, someone must make a move, and the relationship actually has to be established.

If any of these are missing, there is nothing you can do.

[MaskedSanity]

Jenna is so on point with this, I love it.

[myTake Owner]

I do not expect my niceness to win anyone. There is more to me than that. No do I try to manipulate people. That's just wrong. Jenna's great, but I'm not trying for 'out of my league' or expecting niceness to remove pantys. I do however have a problem with my niceness becoming a mark against me as I have observed.

[MaskedSanity]

So just because you brought her her forgotten sweater, she was supposed to drop at your feet and thank you and reciprocate your intentions and all that shit?

Lmao, you're not a nice guy at all. You're a guy that does nice things with ulterior motives.

If you were genuinely nice, you'd do that because it's the right thing to do and not care how she responded.

Just because that girl flirted with you for a hit, doesn't mean she has to commit to you. Your idea that she lost interest BECAUSE you brought her sweater is like saying the rain started because the witchdoctor did a rain dance. It was gonna rain anyway, but the witchdoctor is convinced the continuity of the two events prove the power of the rain dance.
This is your logic.

What actually happened:

Girl flirted with you because you caught her attention. After doing that for a bit she realized there's no chemistry, so she moved on elsewhere to chat we with other people.
You bringing her sweater made it seem like you were chasing her, she may have thought you were being desperate, looking for an excuse to go talk to her, hence the giggles with her girlfriends.

Stop doing nice things with expectations of sexual rewards. Women don't owe you shit for being a decent human being.

If you honestly believe you deserve some kind of reward for an act of common courtesy, you are not and never were a nice guy.

You're actually an asshole a. k. a. Nice Guy TM.

[Mesonfielde]

nicely analyzed

[lovemxo]

We all know this post and all the other honest ones were down voted by the creator of this post lol

You pretty much hit the nail on th the head.

[DawnWatcher]

This is great advice. Don't expect things in return.

[myTake Owner]

I have never expected anything in return for being nice other than for people to be nice in return. Perfectly reasonable. I always give more than I take and I always am first to offer kindness to anyone. I have never expected someone to like me or do things just because I'm nice.
A thank you from her is all that I expect.
I did not however, expect that doing a nice thing would sour her towards me. Clearly it did. She had asked me to join her when I was done my drink. I did a nice thing then she turns bitch.
I have much to offer this world and that is what I want people to like me for. But no one is obligated to.
I have never done something nice with the expectation of a reward, sexual or otherwise (the idea is rediculas to me) I do nice things because it is right.
Your glib interpretation of my intentions is wrong, and assumptive.
And thanks for calling me an asshole.
Your poor interpretation of what I have written does not give you the right to be insulting.

[MaskedSanity]

Freedom of speed gives me the right to be as insulting as I want. Grow a spine or gtfo of the internet.

Your claim to stopping being a nice guy tells me and everyone else that you were never genuine. Being polite is not an act people put on effort into being, it's a natural thing for humans to overall not be dicks.

While her behaviour wasn't exactly mature, you still had expectations and because said expectations are not being met, you declared to "stop being nice".

So it was all a ruse, no matter how you try to dress it up.

[MaskedSanity]

speech*

[myTake Owner]

What were my expectations? That she wouldent turn bitch because I was nice? That's a given.
I did not expect her to drop her pantys.
I did not expect her to fall in love.
I did not expect her to not reject me if she wasn't into me. If she doesn't like me that's fine.
I did not expect my niceness to become a negative against me. But that's what I got.
I have always been nice to be nice.
Now that I see in my life that it is actually detrimental to me, then I will change how I do things. I have never faked being nice or expected things in return.

[circlebill]

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous comments ever! Idiot assumption on top of idiot assumption! With this mindset, you obviously have no ability to discuss this subject intelligently.

[myTake Owner]

Well, please clue me in @circlebill.

[myTake Owner]

@circlebill

[Arthurred]

@masked sanity. Well let me ask you. Have you ever approached girl and tried to win her over? If a guy opens the door for a girl and has a nice chat, makes her laugh, that doesn't mean he doesn't want something genuine. Does the girl have to go out with him? Of course not. However, if a girl respectfully declines then that is fine but it doesn't you the fucken right to say its okay for women to treat men like shit just because they don't owes us anything. It's attitudes like this that makes me wonder what is wrong the world. And believe me I respect everyone and dont expect anything from anyone. Denying guys your not into is fine but being a bitch a about it isn't.

[MaskedSanity]

@circlebill

Sweetie, darling, if you have nothing constructive to say other than throw childish insults, you best not join online discussions. Or just go to tumblr or reddit, they'll love you there.

[MaskedSanity]

@Arthurred

I never defended the girl's behaviour, she didn't have to act the way she did.

I'm addressing take owner's intentions. Genuinely nice people do nice things just because. He's not getting what he wants by being nice, so he decided that it's not worth it. A genuinely nice person doesn't need to make themselves start or stop being nice, if things go south. They're nice, because it's the right thing to do, because it's in their nature.

Take owner correlates his niceness to expectations of reward and since he's not getting them, "no more mr. nice guy".

[circlebill]

MaskedSanity - It gauls me that you are so quick to accuse the Take Owner when you say, "[ you're not a nice guy at all. You're a guy that does nice things with ulterior motives." Then you have the nerve to complain about someone else not being constructive. Let's face it! You just don't have the perspective and objectivity to discuss this without a very heavy bias! Think what you are saying!

You DARE to say to the Take Owner, "Stop doing nice things with expectations of sexual rewards" Are you out of your mind? Nothing in the take justifies your totally idiotic assumption that the Take Owner expected sex for bringing the lady her sweater or whatever! If you're drunk, get me a case of it. I could use some strong booze reading you're posts.

Yeah, I can just see the Take Owner in the Pool Hall! Hey lady! I brrought your sweater! How about a blowjob before you drop your panties! MaskedSanity! YOU ARE BIZARRE! You even called the Take Owner an asshole! Maybe the asshole is YOU!

[MaskedSanity]

@circlebill

I didn't realise people needed to make their ulterior motives clear to people, lmao.

The whole point of an ulterior motive is that it's CONCEALED INTENT dressed up with good gestures.

You need to read the take again and again, of you are unable to comprehend what is being said.

The only bizarre person here is you, because you're completely unaware of the "nice guy" phenomenon that currently plagues the dating world.

[circlebill]

MaskedSanity - You obviously came here with an axe to grind! You are clearly incapable of intelligent discussion on this subject. You even presume to tell the Take Owner his intent! BIZARRE! Thank God, this is only a silly opinion thread! I shudder at the thought of a bunch of people like you sitting on a jury deciding something important! Check you ego! Chech your bias! Good luck in life! Ciao!

[MaskedSanity]

@circlebill

I could say the same about you, considering that you just resorted to calling my statement idiotic over and over and carry on attacking my intelligence.

Please read the take again. If you fail to recognise take owner's problem, I'm afraid I can't help you. The majority of people here were able to, including men.

[circlebill]

Maskked Sanity - I'm very sorry but the only thing more ridiculous than your fool's assumptions about the Take Owner is your continuing to peddle the same garbage to me! All you are doing is babbling! At least hve the good sense to realize we have a serious difference of opinion TO SAY THE LEAST! i wil not be answering your posts any further! However, you may continue to argue with yourself as long as you wish.

[MaskedSanity]

@circlebill

What exactly was the purpose of challenging my view if all you're gonna do is call me names and not address any of my points other than saying that they're somehow wrong?

If you can't handle a difference in opinion and you can't be bothered to explain your position, stay out if arguments altogether.

Telling someone they're wrong and not intelligent because their opinion doesn't coincide with yours is infantile, to say the least.

Grow up and learn to argue or go back to kindergarten.

[circlebill]

MaskedSanity - Since you've made a point of asking ME for further discussion, here it is!

YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME AND THE TAKE OWNER TO JOIN YOU FOR THREE-WAY SEX!

Ther's no point denying it! I can see through you! I know this is your ulterior motive!

"The whole point of an ulterior motive is that it's CONCEALED INTENT dressed up with good gestures."

Well MaskedSanity, now that your CONCEALED INTENT for a perverted three way sex orgy between you, me and the Take Ownerhas been uncovered, what have you to say for yourself?

[ajr92]

Your problem isn't that you're a "nice guy", it's that you're using your "niceness" and "nice acts" as a means to get a girl. See these posts far too often online. Being a nice person is just about being respectful; it doesn't guarantee you a girl, it just means that you'll be a great catch to a girl that does want you in the end.

Work on confidence and self-respect, continuously look to improve yourself everywhere else in life. Don't put finding a girl at the centre of your life and use nice acts to "ensnare" one, because it comes off as clingy and honestly a little desperate.

The girl in your example may have known full well exactly where her jacket was and planned on coming back to grab it later - even if she was on her way out and had genuinely forgotten it, you returning it to her isn't suddenly going to turn you into a heroic figure and have her swooning for you. Be realistic! I gather there's probably more examples, but a little retrospective critical thinking of your memories like that might make you think about the other perspective.

What's your plan now, No More Mr. Nice Guy? Gonna go to a bar, throw a few (hopefully playful) insults at girls, act all arrogant and disrespectful to them and hope that bags you the girl of your dreams? Good luck.

[been_waiting]

Yes yes yes 👍👍

[TorshJohansen]

In your example, you didn't give any indicators of where you were being Mr Nice Guy. Bringing a sweater over isn't being Mr Nice Guy. The biggest a-hole would do that as an excuse to isolate her and get her #. That wasn't it.

Mr Nice Guy is done in two ways, which Doesn't garner most gals' interest:

(a) Standard: You go out of your way for her, pulling out her chair, buying her drinks when it's not a date, being a yes-man to what she says, unchallenging, purely supportive... now, this is going to at least require at least a Little Bit of (b)...

(b) Your Attitude/Swagger: Usually a gal isn't going to know you well enough, as we don't know them well enough -- as they'll read you as to how you come across. How you dress, how you carry yourself, how you look is going to place you starting out somewhere on the Mr Nice Guy / Not Mr Nice Guy yardline, to kick things off..

Then what follows is important -- your attitude. You can still be cooperative, a gentleman, etc and not Mr Nice Guy -- but its your demeanor of trying to win her over, and coming across as a guy who Tries to be nice & pleasing to everyone -- or doesn't have to try as it's far too built in. It isn't about being Mean -- it's that it oozes an attitude of "Your Mom could walk in right now and I'd be the same way -- no filter, no word adjustments required." It's the persona you give off that does it.

The poor-man's way of avoiding Mr Nice Guy is to go the Opposite route. Sure, you avoid being Mr Nice Guy but you'll also risk being a d! ck that turns them off as you already don't know what you're doing anyway. Technically, it's better as far as luck's concerned, but you'll also create animosity if not done well (which is likely) -- so it's not worth it.

Have the persona that you're not trying to chase or appease anyone. Pretend you have a GF hotter than them, you're not chasing -- and your choice of words and attitude isn't giving Any thoughts to pleasing/appeasing.

[Corsair427]

I've gone my whole life the same as you, just a decent good guy, who actually gave a damn about the way a person might feel. Welp im 25, a successful commercial pilot and no girl in sight. Never had one girl say she wanted to be with me. I hate being a asshole and I won't treat a girl in a bad way EVER. Its not that i put them on a pedestal its that I have basic human respect for all people the same way, and literally have no desire to treat girls like some guys do,... it doesn't even occur to act that way to me. Falling in love with someone was always a personal dream of mine and that dream is slowly fading fast. The thing I read that shattered my reality about girls was that they cannot feel empathy for a guy the way a guy can about her or even other guys. That emotion does not exist. They can love but they only love your power or status, not you. Not the person, or the emotions that make that guy human. It made a lot of sense to me and explained the funny behaviors id seen in girls. I was always the guy who was in love with being in love, and wanted to find someone to share that with. But girls can't be empathetic to those feeling in a guy, only dominance power and indifference. But i personally have no desire for any of those over a women. I just dont, its not built into me. What I described seems to be the underlying cause of so many guys frustration and confusion with women.

[TastikD]

Seriously it hurts just reading this. All the girls are not like that, you probably just didn't meet that girl but we are here somewhere you know. you probably heard that many times but its true: different is the key word. keep being who you are eventually you'll ace it as long as your niceness is genuine and just you. ^^

[Corsair427]

I always said the girl who gave me a chance would be given the world. I had found that girl and fell. Everything she said to me though was a lie, the sweet words and kisses, the nights under the stars. I shared with her what I had always wanted to with a girl. I owed her for giving me a chance, someone i could finally trust, i thought. Ill never forget the day she turned around and burned me emotionally. I dont hate her and dont even feel mad. Just numb more so. I try and try again, but no one stays, no one just liked me the way she did. 10 girls later and nothing. people even question my sexuality as if im gay. Its not something I can choose.

[Mesonfielde]

I was going to disagree, but the numbers are not in your favor.

@TastikD mentioned because she is relevant.

There is a schism in our culture, and it is due to gender stereotypes. If @M_A_X knee about me talking about it, he would be all set out on telling me how dehumanizing people based on their sex is useful, but this is just the proof of the result.

Children and peers forcing others to stick with only their own gender by attacking their sense of identity by saying "wait, you are friends with girls? Are you a girl? You certainly aren't a boy, go play your sissy doll games! Wait, are you crying? What a sissy." - kids abusing others like that emotionally and preventing socializing between the two sexes is the cause of future generalizations, and by generalizing we dehumanize others. What we don't understand, we cannot feel empathy for.

There are girls out there who do value romanticism, and even you as a person. But they are the minority, in our gender-binary culture.

[TastikD]

I see, you got hurt deeply so I understand where comes your opinion and I don't want to assume but you still seem burnt about it and maybe... just maybe.. that's the problem?
Anyway I'm sorry and I hope your opinion will change with time and you will find that girl :)

Gender stereotypes exactly! Read a study about it and it's truly mining to some people... @Mesonfielde

[heavensgift2girls]

It sounds like you have been putting women first, and letting them take you for granted. Unfortunately a lot of guys are being taught that if we don't act like doormats to women, then we are by default assholes. The truth is that this simply isn't the case. You can be nice to women, but still put yourself first.

Just as it should be a woman's responsibility to make herself happy, and ultimately put her own needs above yours, you should be putting your own needs above hers. If you think this sounds like I am encouraging you to be a little more selfish, them maybe that is because I am. This is simply what strong and independent people do. Remember the only person that can make you happy is yourself. You owe yourself that much.

You don't have to choose one extreme or the other. You can learn to put yourself first, and stand up for your own happiness while still treating your woman with respect. The key is that while you are respecting her desires, and ability to make herself happy, you don't tolerate her disrespecting your desires, and ability to make yourself happy.

[catnip33]

"I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be." Yes! "I never expected more than for people to treat me the way I treated them." That is the golden rule, and you seem like a nice person.

"Women have tried to take advantage of my niceness, rejected me, treated me like shit. My whole life." Is where this all goes downhill.

Look, a woman isn't trying to take advantage of your niceness- just because you are nice to one, doesn't mean they have to date or sleep with you. Rejecting someone isn't treating them like shit if it's civil and polite, it's someone's way of saying you aren't interested, and it doesn't make a woman awful.

In fact, if you are only being nice to these women in hopes that they'll date you and would berate them like this if they didn't, that doesn't make you a nice guy at all. If you can't be friends with a woman, they certainly wouldn't want to date you. That makes you a self-entitled jerk that can't respect a person's decisions, and this applies for all genders.

Want a woman to date you? Well, I don't know you personally so I can't speak for your do's and don't's but... if or when she says no, don't throw a fit about it.

[GayRayEmo]

Preach it sister

[circlebill]

You claimed: "[if or when she says no, don't throw a fit about it."

Honestly, do you really think your statement does anything to help? It is no help at all to waste time ranting about how a nice guy should act AFTER rejection. When you tell someone who is already very respectful that he should be respectful AFTER getting rejected, the advice is basically WORTHLESS!

[Watermelonoma]

Well firstly, im sorry to hear about the pain you are going though with this. A lot of women don't really understand this kind of pain because they almost never take risks to attract the guys they are into. So they don't realize that when an inexperienced guy tries to attract her, he is only doing what comes natural by being as nice as he possibly can be to her. I mean it seems logical right? If you treat her like the best thing in your life, she will see that you care about her and hence will care about you. Again, girls here won't really understand this and so will just insult you instead of educating you on the right way to attract them. Constructive criticism without the constructive part basically.

Anyways, the problem is that you aren't actually giving them what they want when you act that way. Girls don't have sex with guys out of charity, so you need to figure out what they actually want before they give you what you want (which i assume would be an intense romantic relationship). When it comes to women, its important to display your intent from the get go, either directly or subtly through slow seduction. Girls like to feel a range of emotions when they meet a guy for the first time, and triggering those range of emotions requires you to play around with her a bit. It requires you to challenge her on things, question her on things, make her trade and bargain with you for things she wants (like a drink from the bar for example), communication through your eyes that you want more than just a friendship, etc. When you make a girl go through this kind of emotional roller coaster without being an asshole, you will often leave an impression on her that will make her want you more. Of coarse, girls here won't tell you this as its easier to make fun of you, but if you're looking to attract women, start thinking about these things. It helps

[Battooot]

You might be a nice guy, yes true some girls get turned off buy nice guys but those aren't the type of girls you want to go after. Just them wanting a doochbag means they aren't smart enough i promise you. If you want one night stands then go ahead be a doochbag u'l get them unsmart girls to fuk u. But if you are looking for a smart and genuine girl then be an even nicer guy. Because those girls appreciate niceness unlike the others. People don't appreciate niceness till they have suffering, and those girls who like doochbags usually end up realizing it and appreciate niceness when its kinda too late (in their 30s-40s) after they been treated like shyt. I've seen many like that.
I'm way nicer than you are. At least i don't do it for people and expect something in return like you do. I do it because i am like that and i wish goodness for everyone, even if i don't get anything in return for it. What you right now is more like 'half nice guy'. Did you see what i said before? I'm way nicer than you are, but i don't have ANY problem with girls. i'm actually very satisfied the way i am. There is a girl for every personality, but the KEY is you have to have CONFIDENCE with niceness or else you'l just look like a tool who helps people.

Instead of working on being a doochbag/jerk, work on improving your confidence and i promise you that you'l get way better results. A nice guy is one thing, but a super confident nice guy is a whole another dimension.

[Battooot]

If you need any tips on improving confidence feel free to message me. I know how to improve it significantly, but it requires a lot of work. and it requires you facing your fear. So only message me if you are really determined (I'm saying this to everyone who reads this not just the Take Owner).
I used to be an extremely unconfident guy with weak or even no personality who also at one point became a tool ib highschool. You can't be worse than me, if i managed to increase my confidence significantly then anyone can.

[Born_to_love]

Stay nice. There are already enough jerks in this world. If a girl can't see you for the great guy you are, then she is not worth your time. You have to sift through the weeds, even if they hurt you and make you bleed, to find the flower hiding among them. If you want to find the one that you are meant to be with, you first have to earn her, you have to make yourself the best person you can, and learn from your struggles. The girl that you described in the description sounds terrible. I think maybe you are looking in the wrong place for someone. The girls that you have dated before were probably looking for a way to pass the time, so don't give it to people like them. Find someone who will love you more for being nice. I know from experience that jerks that are mean are people I don't want to be around. I personally would prefer someone who was as nice as you seem to be. Stay true to yourself and you will be rewarded. 😊 😘 😊

Ps. Was this too long? I don't really know how long they are usually.
Pps. I hope you find "The One" soon.😘😘😘

[Mesonfielde]

I think they can see what kind of "nice guy" he is, and that is exactly why they just roll their eyes and leave.

[been_waiting]

Ok, and do you really want to date the girls that would treat a guy that way for being nice? I think not. If the answer is yes, I can say with 100% certainty you're in it for her looks and not her character.

These guys that change who they are to please some bitch are shallow. You obviously don't like how she acts. She fills you with contempt. But you're gonna change yourself for her?
And no you're NOT truly nice if you stop being nice because it hasn't gotten you what you want.

Seriously watch this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZu-tBi7DM

[MaskedSanity]

Look at the butthurt down votes, lmao.

Guy in the video is spot on, addresses literally every point these whiney "nice guys" bitch about.

[been_waiting]

@MaskedSanity I'd rather them tell me how I'm wrong. But they can't, cause I'm not.

I LOVE this video. He's a smart man

[MaskedSanity]

I know, right? He's very articulate. :D

[been_waiting]

@MaskedSanity and funny! I watched more of his vids but this is his masterpiece

[myTake Owner]

I am not nice because I want things in return.
I take exception to the fact that my being nice becomes a mark against me. I give her her sweater because it would be a shame for a PERSON to loose their sweater, not because I think it will drop her pantys or win points. But for it to sour things is bullshit. I'm not upset that my niceness doesn't win girls, I'm upset it looses me girls. And this is but one example.
If nice = loosing girls, then it's time to finally try somthing else.

[been_waiting]

You're literally saying since being nice didn't get you what you want you're gonna stop being nice.

Not sure what you don't understand.

[myTake Owner]

What I'm saying is that being nice is a mark against me, in my experiences.

[myTake Owner]

I did not expect being nice to get me what I wanted.
I have more to offer than that.
If being nice is hindering me, than I will change.

[been_waiting]

Being nice will only hinder you with bitchy girls.

But of course you don't care, you just want a really hot girl, fuck the nice ones.

You're doing exactly what you hate. You're a hypocrite.

[myTake Owner]

Since when do I go for hot girls?
I am attracted to a beautiful smile, then I look for personality. I am not a guy looking for a 10. Healthy and a bit attractive is good enough for me. Personality is what makes a woman beautiful.

[been_waiting]

Any girl who treats you like shit has a bad personality, so I don't understand why you want those girls.

[inamorata]

That girl acted like a total cunt and I'm sorry that happened to you. But I agree with what you're saying, but I also know why that is.
Please take a few minutes to read my two piece MyTake that explains this. I'm not promoting it just to get views or some weird crap like that.

I genuinely want as many guys and girls to see it because I think it can help you. That's why I wrote it after all.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8369-cutting-trough-the-nice-guy-alpha-male-confidence-bullshit
(part two is linked at the end of part 1)

Good luck to you.

[AllWomenLie]

That girl acted like a total cunt no she didn't that normal behavior from girls today.

[Anonymous]

don't know dude, I do nice things for people all the time, and I've never had a problem finding girlfriends.

Sounds to me like the problem is that you're just boring, and don't know how to relate to women.

And I'm starting to think that maybe you thought you were flirting with her, and she was just humoring you, and trying to be nice, because you missed a golden opportunity to use that sweater as a prop, and that's just basic flirty shit.

I mean, if I was going to bring a girl her sweater, I'd throw it around my neck, walk over and say "hey, check out my sexy new scarf", which opens the door for all kinds of fun, flirtatious conversation, and the opportunity to hold the thing for "ransom" of a drink, or a kiss, or whatever. Situation dependent, of course.

And I'm being nice by bringing her sweater, I'm just doing it in a fun way.

Girls don't want assholes dude, they want nice guys. They just want nice guys who are also fun and interesting.

[F-E-Miller]

This.

[GayRayEmo]

I completely agree with you. This guy just sounds socially awkward like I once was. Now that he's deciding to no longer be nice, the few that were going to be with him will now disappear. Quite frankly, I think he's showing his true nature because socially awkward guys tend to be nice because being mean gets them nowhere.

[circlebill]

Take Owner - I understand just what you are talking about. The foolish female that insulted you with her idiot notions that guys are nice and expect sex for it is clearly on a mission to dump on nice guys! Many women are basically in denial about how badly genuine nice guys are often treated in the dating world! Unfortunately, the high courtesy, kindness and consideration we lavish on women is often unappreciated! There are good women! But they are definitely rare! I hope you find the happiness you deserve! Ciao!

[MaskedSanity]

How about you stop being a pussy and talk to me, instead of leaving catty comments and running away.

Educate yourself on the phenomenon that is the "nice guy" before making bullshit claims.

[ManuelMarquez]

@MaskedSanity most nice guys aren't fake nice.

[MaskedSanity]

Most men who refer to themselves as nice guys and complain about never getting women are actually not nice in the slightest. It's absurd to assume a guy isn't getting any luck with women BECAUSE of being courteous. It's a cop out, a refusal to accept other factors such as attraction, company, things in common, sexual chemistry and so on.

[myTake Owner]

It is absurd, true. That doesn't mean that it is not true in some cases. You seem to think you know better than everyone else and yet... you have no actual clue as to my true intentions for being nice- though you insist you do- that is absurd. You also insist that is not possable for someone's niceness to have a negative effect on there prospects, however you have no actual idea if it could be true, or true in my case. Yet you know everything about this? By the very fact that you are not a male trying to date females, you have no actual clue what our experiances are and what is possible and what is not. It must be by your shear intelligence that you know better than people discussing things they have experianced first hand. Good for you. Now that we have all been blessed with your superior opinions, we shal go into the world humbled and set right, I -to deceive people with my diabolical niceness, others knowing their own ignorance, and you wrapped with your Infallible intelligence.

[myTake Owner]

*that it is
*their

[GlassHeart]

I don't know i dont think it because your nice tbh!
-either your coming on way too strong very early in the relationship
-Or your too friendly too the point that its skeptical.(make u look creepy)
- the woman you try to date are bitches
Because tbh im a nice girl and i wouldn't have responded the way that woman did when u found her coat.. I would have just said Thank you.
But anyways i think there's more factors that play into this instead of that your too nice.
U haven't met all the women in the world to say they dont appreciate nice men so please stay true to who you are because soon enough you will find that person that likes you just the way u are

[Tokana]

From an ex nice guy to a nice guy. Quit doing that stuff. You'll have more fun and get more women being the bad boy. The difference Is like night and day. I lost count on the number of women I've been with, with this new persona of mine.

Confidence, muscles, money an idgaf attitude will put you on top of the mating pool. :-)

Excuse me while I go live life to it's fullest while you're holding the door open for a lady lol

[singleforsix]

Wow... how ride of her when you were being kind... I would never treat someone like that for such a nice gesture. I truly feel that part of the problem today is that there are nor many genuine, nice people out there... Male or female... that when you encounter one you feel like it has to be fake. Speaking from personal experiences, many men pretend to be nice to get into your pants... same with women... they pretend to be a certain way until they can't hide it anymore. I get called fake all the time because " no one is that nice". Its a shame but I have faith that one day someone will believe it.

[shaenasoso]

I don't think you should change yourself. The only way you can be used or taken advantage of is if you let it happen. Nice guys are awesome. Sorry you've had the short stick with previous relationships but don't let them ruin it for that 1 girl out there who is perfect for you. Yes a lot of girls like bad boys but those bad boys are usually scum bags who don't deserve the time of day. You on the other hand if your truly a nice guy deserve to have that 1 woman who lovesyou for who you are.. she is out there, you just have to find her. so if that means you have to put on your hunting boots and beat the badgers off with a stick to get to the prize then that's just what needs to happen. But don't change who you are to suit the people around you. just be smarter.

[koko124]

Guys have to stop being pussies. Just pretend every girl has a penis and facial hair. 90% of the sappy or cringey things you'd do for them suddenly seem out of the question.

If some guy you'd just met had his jacket hanging on a chair, would you get it and bring it to him? No, of course you wouldn't. So don't do it to a girl.

This is actually a pretty big step in the road to equality (if you believe in that LOL), because both men and women give a lot of preferential treatment to girls. This treatment is seen as sexist from both sides: the guys feel uncared for, and the girls feel "babied".

[Mesonfielde]

It is funny because it is true.

[Jjjoooggg]

If a girl is easily turned off by being nice, then I don't think that you ever had a chance. All she wanted was attention from anyone. Just because a girl flirts, doesn't mean she thinks you are boyfriend possibility. You could get flirty with an escort or playgirl. But they aren't looking for Mr. Right.

A pool hall and night club is not where a girl is looking for long term. They are looking for attention and free drinks. They keep points with their lady friends to see who can get the most attention and free drinks.

I only go after a girl if she is interested enough that could lead to a future.

[bloodmountain1990]

True. I've had some luck with women but my issue is it's only lasted short term whether it's a hook up or fling. I agree that bars, clubs, and pool halls are definitely not the place to meet women. Only thing I've gotten from meeting a girl at a bar is a hookup and that was pretty rare too.

[Buwwy]

I thought being nice was always a trait people admired and I still think that. People really appreciate genuine and friendly gestures, no matter how small, and you can see that in everyday life.

Sure I might be nice myself, and sure, I've never had a girlfriend but I stick to the belief that it's all about the way you put yourself out there, your charisma. You could be socially boring/awkward, but what makes you think you'll stand out compared to all the other men out there.

Be witty, be confident and just improve on your character in general. Practice and practice but don't fall into the notion of being bad thinking you'll get anyone decent.

Unless you're just in it for the v, you wouldn't want a long term partner who's "bad". And I doubt women think any different. So it's up to you how you think, but in my opinion, being nice is one of the most, if not the most desirable quality in a partner.