No more Mr. Nice guy!

I was a nice guy. I have tried to date many different types of women, of different ages.

I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be. I never expected more then for people to treat me the way I treated them. Women have tried to take advantage of my niceness, rejected me, treated me like shit. My whole life.

I've now had enough.

No more Mr. Nice guy.

Here is one example of many, of how nice guys get treated.

Last week I was at a pool hall I frequent, and chatting with people, including a girl I'd been flirting with, who was flirting with me. As the night went on and people were moving around I noticed that she had forgot her sweater at a table she had moved from. Following my instinct, I grabbed it and took it to her and asked if it was hers. "Yes. Thanks. Wow your just a nice guy aren't you?" I could tell by her tone that I'd blown it. Sure enough that was the end of her flirting. When she went to leave I said I'll "Nice to see you" to which she rolled her eyes at her friend and they laughed as they went out the door.

A lifetime of being nice has got me nothing in the dating world. Women say I'm a keeper, a great catch, but don't want me. So-
I'm done. No more mr. nice guy.

There is a reason for the saying nice guys finish last. Because it's true.

Guys, don't waist part of your life like I did, hoping a woman will see your worth and value your nice guy nature. In my experiance, women don't want nice guys.

If they did, the saying would be "bad boys finish last".

If they did, then nice guys would have dates and not just heartaches.


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What Girls Said 37

  • i feel you on this dude.. you treat people well and in return you are treated like crap (i guess its the price to be paid when you're too naive or too good towards others).. no more nice girl too... nice take by the way

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  • That chick who blew you off about giving her sweater sounds like a serious cunt.

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  • You've clearly been making yourself believe that girls are flirting with you when actually, they're just being nice to you. They don't find you attractive or want anything more. If a guy did what you did for me and I actually liked him, it would make me want him more.
    I'm fed up of all this nice guy stuff, you guys will never understand.

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    • "You've clearly been making yourself believe that girls are flirting with you when actually, they're just being nice to you. They don't find you attractive or want anything more."
      That's quite the assumption.

  • No. Just no. The saying is like that cuz there are a lot of bitches in this world. Apparently, you're only chasing bitches who are into jerks. There are girls who want a nice guy, you just don't look for them. I, for example get disgusted by bad guys who treat women like shit. And im sure there are other girls like me out there. So a message to the nice guys out there: please do not change into jerks. Stop chasing bitches and go for the nice girls.

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  • Why you think it is because you are a nice guy? It can be for many reasons why they dont date you:

    -They may not find you attractive
    -They may have a crush on someone else
    -They may not like something else

    Also I like nice guys.

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  • "I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be. I never expected more then for people to treat me the way I treated them."

    *goes on to explain how he doesn't want to be nice anymore because girls reject him*

    If you truly were nice and didn't expect anything in return, you wouldn't stop being nice just because SOME girls might lose interest or because SOME people don't return the favor by being nice back.
    Basically, you were using your "niceness" just to get with girls. And now that a few girls haven't reciprocated, you suddenly feel as though it's pointless to be nice.
    1. Girls are not machines that you can put niceness coins in, and then expect sex and relationships to fall out.
    2. Being nice to people should be rewarding in itself, knowing that you're doing good things and being a good person. It shouldn't matter if not everyone is showing appreciation for it.

    You're p much acting like you're being selfless and humble. You're not. You're being selfish.

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    • @heavensgift2girlsgirls except even then, you are supposed to at least be able to see if they are receptive to being treated a certain way according to the unwritten socialization script. Which they usually don't, because not all females are the same, and I am not surprised they find it somewhat offensive when you treat them as if they were.

    • @heavensgift2girls my keyboard is retarded. Curse you Google!

  • Young people are rude... I avoid them like hiv.

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  • FYI bad boys may get girls attention but that's all they get. they don't get relationships because they are generally assholes. just saying

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  • Since when does being "nice" entitle you to anything?

    Think of it this way: when a person goes on a good date, they gush about the other person. When someone goes on a bad date, they'll say "He seemed nice," and leave it at that.

    Nice is the modern equivalent of just acceptable. You don't get anything for being nice, but you do for being interesting.

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    • I never said, nor have I ever felt entitled to anything.
      I just did not expect that my nice guy nature would actually work against me, as in my example, and many other experiances I have had.
      I do have many other qualities besides being nice, and people find me very interesting.

      Since I've stopped being so nice to women I'm interested in, the situation has improved immensely. If only I'd have know this so much earlier.

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    • I don't know how this has anything to do with his story, but ok

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    • @PhiOmega People are mean to me every single day of my life. Trust me, I'm a waitress working in a sports bar near a college campus. I've had things so disgusting/degrading/vile/mean said to me it would make Satan blush. But you know what? I'm not going to stop being a good person because of it. Who I am is not dependent on random mean spirited people. I'm not saying that he doesn't have the right to be bummed out and hurt by this woman's actions, but saying, "I'm going to be an asshole now" is totally not the way to go about it.

    • Everyone kno's customer service sucks, but there's a difference between a job and making ur self vulnerable and putting your emotions on the line to have them hurt for however many years he's been going through it

      When i hear this story, I'm empathetic towards him, i can't say I'd be able to do what he's done, or handle always being laughed at and disrespected

      people change all the time (unless ur counting jesus, mlk, Gandhi)<cuz those are the only guys who always turned the other cheek, most other people, the revolutionaries are the ones who only take the shit for so long , but honestly, i don't encourage him to keep being nice, people don't deserve to be hurt all the time, EVEN IF that's who he is as a person, id tell him to stop, he has no reason to keep tasty up ^^^

  • LOL. People on here...

    So... your personality is sweet. And it is what many women want. But we want LOOKS as well.

    You don't have to be gorgeous hot to many of us. Just cute.

    A lot of women like that bad-boy look... not necessarily the bad boys themselves. And yes, there are women who will choose a hot guy with a crap personality for many reasons.

    I think it's safer to say that looks and personality are what many women want. What differs is to the varying degree that we want them.

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  • Was she actually walking out the door without her sweater?

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  • Okay. Have fun.

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  • That's not true. Thier are women who look for the nice guys. You just have to pay attention to the women you go after not all of them are good or looking for a nice guy and they show it.

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  • "I was always nice because I believed that was how people should be." Yes! "I never expected more than for people to treat me the way I treated them." That is the golden rule, and you seem like a nice person.

    "Women have tried to take advantage of my niceness, rejected me, treated me like shit. My whole life." Is where this all goes downhill.

    Look, a woman isn't trying to take advantage of your niceness- just because you are nice to one, doesn't mean they have to date or sleep with you. Rejecting someone isn't treating them like shit if it's civil and polite, it's someone's way of saying you aren't interested, and it doesn't make a woman awful.

    In fact, if you are only being nice to these women in hopes that they'll date you and would berate them like this if they didn't, that doesn't make you a nice guy at all. If you can't be friends with a woman, they certainly wouldn't want to date you. That makes you a self-entitled jerk that can't respect a person's decisions, and this applies for all genders.

    Want a woman to date you? Well, I don't know you personally so I can't speak for your do's and don't's but... if or when she says no, don't throw a fit about it.

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    • Preach it sister

    • You claimed: "[if or when she says no, don't throw a fit about it."

      Honestly, do you really think your statement does anything to help? It is no help at all to waste time ranting about how a nice guy should act AFTER rejection. When you tell someone who is already very respectful that he should be respectful AFTER getting rejected, the advice is basically WORTHLESS!

  • Awh its sad to hear that these women take advantage of you! That's totally wrong my advice to you would be to just be you don't change for no one some day you will find someone perfect for you that don't take advantage of you ! Keep smiling

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  • Hmm... Why not try and see if you can do a FWB?

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  • Wow... how ride of her when you were being kind... I would never treat someone like that for such a nice gesture. I truly feel that part of the problem today is that there are nor many genuine, nice people out there... Male or female... that when you encounter one you feel like it has to be fake. Speaking from personal experiences, many men pretend to be nice to get into your pants... same with women... they pretend to be a certain way until they can't hide it anymore. I get called fake all the time because " no one is that nice". Its a shame but I have faith that one day someone will believe it.

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  • Wow that girl was rather strange I'd think it was really caring I dont understand that!

    But in terms of 'nice', personally id want to date someone with self-respect aka he's nice to me only if he bothered to get to know me and cn see that i am a person who is worth his effort that he expends on me in being nice. When i first meet a guy, being a little bit aloof but civil is nice, I want to earn his respect and 'niceness' rather than just get given it if that makes sense at all.

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  • I also have been called the nice and you have such a soft heart. The guy that marries you will be so lucky.
    For the most part the only men interested in dating me are the ones that want to take my care giving nature for granted.
    So yea some days it sucks being the nice girl, but i wouldn't give up on it.
    I like being nice and knowing that i love taking care of others and being there for my friends.
    I wouldn't like myself any other way:)
    So men can try to take advantage and be jerks but its not like they will get anywhere because with a soft heart, I was also given a wise mind

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What Guys Said 62

  • be likedaniel craig's james bond... interesting, confident, courteous... not 'nice'.

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  • Actually, I used to be a "nice guy"

    But then I realized I was being a manipulative dumbass who has zero clue what the fuck other people are doing because I had no idea what empathy was, how to use it, or how to properly assess social cues and non-verbal emotional elements (while me not displaying any of those as I had no idea how they work, of course)

    Anyways, if she did not find you attractive, that's not because you gave her her coat.

    I'll just delegate you to Jenna Marbles.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI

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    • I love Jenna

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    • Jenna is so on point with this, I love it.

    • I do not expect my niceness to win anyone. There is more to me than that. No do I try to manipulate people. That's just wrong. Jenna's great, but I'm not trying for 'out of my league' or expecting niceness to remove pantys. I do however have a problem with my niceness becoming a mark against me as I have observed.

  • You need to be nice and interesting and exciting at the same time.

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  • I'm just here to finish the lyrics " No more Mr. nice guy! No more Me. clean ean ean ean, your so sick so obscene"

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  • You missed your chance when she said "you're a nice guy aren't you" if that was me i'd see that as a opening to get more flirty and cheeky. But you may have been flirting but did you have a backbone/opinion on things or were you just agreeing with what everything she said?

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    • You could say something along the lines off

      "I can certainly be a bad boy in the right situation [wink], but for now i'll settle for being your own personal nice guy, shame there not many of us around anymore" Make sure it's said with a bit of joke in the voice

  • Uhuh.. cool story bro.

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  • I feel your pain. You're just fed up with being genuinely nice and there's nothing wrong with being fed up. People who said nice guys can't have any negative feelings or aren't really a nice guy are hypocrites. I rather hear a guy complain than have him kill someone and/or himself. REMEMBER NICE GUYS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

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  • There's a difference of being a "nice guy" and a doormat. While I'm only going to say that girls have their own likes and dislikes.

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  • You might be a nice guy, yes true some girls get turned off buy nice guys but those aren't the type of girls you want to go after. Just them wanting a doochbag means they aren't smart enough i promise you. If you want one night stands then go ahead be a doochbag u'l get them unsmart girls to fuk u. But if you are looking for a smart and genuine girl then be an even nicer guy. Because those girls appreciate niceness unlike the others. People don't appreciate niceness till they have suffering, and those girls who like doochbags usually end up realizing it and appreciate niceness when its kinda too late (in their 30s-40s) after they been treated like shyt. I've seen many like that.
    I'm way nicer than you are. At least i don't do it for people and expect something in return like you do. I do it because i am like that and i wish goodness for everyone, even if i don't get anything in return for it. What you right now is more like 'half nice guy'. Did you see what i said before? I'm way nicer than you are, but i don't have ANY problem with girls. i'm actually very satisfied the way i am. There is a girl for every personality, but the KEY is you have to have CONFIDENCE with niceness or else you'l just look like a tool who helps people.

    Instead of working on being a doochbag/jerk, work on improving your confidence and i promise you that you'l get way better results. A nice guy is one thing, but a super confident nice guy is a whole another dimension.

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    • If you need any tips on improving confidence feel free to message me. I know how to improve it significantly, but it requires a lot of work. and it requires you facing your fear. So only message me if you are really determined (I'm saying this to everyone who reads this not just the Take Owner).
      I used to be an extremely unconfident guy with weak or even no personality who also at one point became a tool ib highschool. You can't be worse than me, if i managed to increase my confidence significantly then anyone can.

  • Be gracious to everyone, make others feel important/valued and light up the room you walk into. But don't be a pushover. Testosterone does not equate to being a nice-guy-pushover. I'm a gentleman and treat others with compassionate. But if anyone does anything to my girl I'll destroy that mother fucker.

    It's like the new-age gentleman.

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  • I agree in the sense of don't be a pushover. If a relationship is gonna work, there has to be balance in my opinion.

    So in the situation you mentioned, you do her a favor, and she doesn't react much beyond thanking you. When you said "nice to see you", that was a step too far.

    I think it's to do with putting in the effort you honestly think this person is worth and no more.

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    • That last line doesn't work, I've had to be civil and respectful to people id rather fight at times, it's called rising above

      Do it for u, not them

  • Looks play more of a role then personality dude.

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  • One of two things is going on here. Have you considerded the possibility that you aren't actually a nice guy? Because I'm sick and tired of hearing how "people are such great guys" but they turn out to be self-centered twats who don't actually do anything BUT talk about how great they are. Maybe if you weren't such a self centered douche rag it would be different.

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    • nice theory but way off.

  • I like that pic

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  • Another nice guy post... great

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  • I think the media is to blame for this. The media and movies teach us to be nice, bend over backwards and do anything for women in order to get them and that is so blatantly wrong. You'll hear women spewing the same shit, but who they say they want and who they end up with are two different things.

    Acting super nice only makes a girl think you're clingy, desperate, a pushover, and ultimately being nice in order to get shit out of them in return. Personally, what's worse is I get told I'm the nicest guy and I don't go consider myself a nice guy or tell others how nice I am. I just don't fuck with people unless they fuck with me and I think people lump genuinely nice people in with fake nice guys. I don't think I could be a "dick" or "bad boy" if I tried. It's like no matter what I do, I'm labeled a nice guy.

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    • That being said, I don't think EVERY girl wants an asshole or bad boy. Going by that logic, every guy that's has a girlfriend/wife/etc or even a hookup is an asshole.

      There are some with attention issues that like bad boys and to me those are the ones you want to avoid. They're the type that will fall for the bad boy, think they can change him and once the bad boy blows them off they will complain about the bad boy. Once they find someone who cares for them, they blow off that person and go back to the bad boy ex or someone similar to the bad boy ex. These people are best left alone in their own misery. Too high maintenance.

  • If a girl is easily turned off by being nice, then I don't think that you ever had a chance. All she wanted was attention from anyone. Just because a girl flirts, doesn't mean she thinks you are boyfriend possibility. You could get flirty with an escort or playgirl. But they aren't looking for Mr. Right.

    A pool hall and night club is not where a girl is looking for long term. They are looking for attention and free drinks. They keep points with their lady friends to see who can get the most attention and free drinks.

    I only go after a girl if she is interested enough that could lead to a future.

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    • True. I've had some luck with women but my issue is it's only lasted short term whether it's a hook up or fling. I agree that bars, clubs, and pool halls are definitely not the place to meet women. Only thing I've gotten from meeting a girl at a bar is a hookup and that was pretty rare too.

  • I will definitely follow your advice bro.

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  • I thought being nice was always a trait people admired and I still think that. People really appreciate genuine and friendly gestures, no matter how small, and you can see that in everyday life.

    Sure I might be nice myself, and sure, I've never had a girlfriend but I stick to the belief that it's all about the way you put yourself out there, your charisma. You could be socially boring/awkward, but what makes you think you'll stand out compared to all the other men out there.

    Be witty, be confident and just improve on your character in general. Practice and practice but don't fall into the notion of being bad thinking you'll get anyone decent.

    Unless you're just in it for the v, you wouldn't want a long term partner who's "bad". And I doubt women think any different. So it's up to you how you think, but in my opinion, being nice is one of the most, if not the most desirable quality in a partner.

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  • Take Owner - I understand just what you are talking about. The foolish female that insulted you with her idiot notions that guys are nice and expect sex for it is clearly on a mission to dump on nice guys! Many women are basically in denial about how badly genuine nice guys are often treated in the dating world! Unfortunately, the high courtesy, kindness and consideration we lavish on women is often unappreciated! There are good women! But they are definitely rare! I hope you find the happiness you deserve! Ciao!

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    • How about you stop being a pussy and talk to me, instead of leaving catty comments and running away.

      Educate yourself on the phenomenon that is the "nice guy" before making bullshit claims.

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    • It is absurd, true. That doesn't mean that it is not true in some cases. You seem to think you know better than everyone else and yet... you have no actual clue as to my true intentions for being nice- though you insist you do- that is absurd. You also insist that is not possable for someone's niceness to have a negative effect on there prospects, however you have no actual idea if it could be true, or true in my case. Yet you know everything about this? By the very fact that you are not a male trying to date females, you have no actual clue what our experiances are and what is possible and what is not. It must be by your shear intelligence that you know better than people discussing things they have experianced first hand. Good for you. Now that we have all been blessed with your superior opinions, we shal go into the world humbled and set right, I -to deceive people with my diabolical niceness, others knowing their own ignorance, and you wrapped with your Infallible intelligence.

    • *that it is
      *their

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