Dating An Older Man: Pros and Cons

Dating An Older Man: Pros and Cons

Dating an older man is nothing like dating one your age (in my case it would be early 20's). In some cases it can be better and in other cases it doesn't work out. Like every relationship dating an older man will have its ups, down and complications.

Here are some pros and cons based on my experiences.

CONS:

  1. Ready to settle down: A man in his 30’s is most likely ready to settle down; have a family and kids. Something a woman in her (early) 20’s may not be ready for.
  2. He doesn’t stay out late: After a certain age men don’t want to be out all night drinking and dancing. He just wants to stay home with you and be in bed by 11 (which doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing).
  3. He gets compared to your father: “Isn’t he as old as your father?” a question that makes everyone uncomfortable, but can be easily ignored. All that matters is how you feel about each other.

PROS:

  1. Life experience: An older man has more experience and knowledge. He knows what he's doing and he knows what he wants.
  2. Maturity: He's been in his share of serious relationships, so he knows what it takes to be in a committed adult relationship. And he probably knows how to deal with his emotions better than a man 10 years younger.
  3. Silver fox: I don’t know why, but it’s so hot. A man who is confident with his grays is way sexier than one who dyes them to make himself look younger.
  4. He knows who he is: While your twenty-something-year-old boyfriend is busy trying to find himself, an older man has already found himself. He knows his likes and dislikes very well.
  5. Bedroom: He’s awesome in the sack… That’s all I’ll say about that.

Tell me your thoughts and personal experiences in the comments!


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What Guys Said 19

  • It's definitely a generic set of pros and cons. As others would be quick to point out, there are guys who are equally lost and at sea at 40 as they were at 20. I mean, just look at some of the losers on this site who absolutely refuse to learn anything. I can't imagine they are going to become learned suave lotharios by the time they start having a mid-life crisis. As sad as it is for a 20 something year old to be obsessed with the size of his dick, if he's still worrying about it at 40... there's just no help.

    If you've had a good experience dating an older man, more power to you. I for one, am still enjoying dating too much to want to settle down yet.

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  • You forgot one extra con that he will die way before you.

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    • Did you know when you going to die? Loool.

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    • Yes I know that, but you are not weight in that older people TEND have more health risk factors and that chance of dying at any moment. Now I highlighted the word "tend" so you wouldn't quote on quote have an excuse to put words in my mouth. In the end older people have a higher chance of dying

    • Oh you also forgot to add another con that a lot of much older men date younger girls just to get in their pants and then they leave them and also use them to have her by him stuff. I hear and see older men doing this to younger girls all the time and trust me I am a guy I know how men think better than you do.

  • I want to be an older mature guy so much but I just have to be patient and enjoy what I am right now. Older men look like they have everything figured out already such a dream life..

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  • Well I've heard old (er) men say that "you're only as old as the woman you feel."

    I can understand what they get out of it... I guess this is a reason not to settle down when you're young (for guys), I'd like to cash in on the female perception that older guys are better when I'm older.

    I think something which some girls may be inclined to overlook is that rather than being more decent older guys are just more skilled at manipulating women.

    As for the sex I guess they might have the technique down, but are they fit enough to carry it out... what if you want seconds?

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  • Daddy issues much?

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  • You forgot about the back pain in the high time of sex

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  • Well frankly with the cons you are spot on with the settling down thing but some men including me can and want to party late. Also people can say what they want and unless they are paying my bills I could care less what they think. Yeah we are awesome in the sack and I love who I am.

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  • I had two relationships that went quite well with a 25 year old and a 28 year old woman.

    They were more mature than most that age it was more of fun thing... they were not ready to settle down, nor was I, but we enjoyed each others company and they admitted they felt admired and respected the entire time. I am not a player type and even though we were not committed in any way I explained I do not fool around... just for simple safety reasons. I think they appreciated this more than anything.

    Would I have taken it further... perhaps with the 28 year old... we had a lot in common and a great connection... ultimately though she was not in that frame of mind as she was attempting to start up her own business!

    Regardless, I think some good can result from or experiences with older and younger relationships... I think it helps us to find the type of person and qualities we like and are eventually meant to meet!

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  • Lol... anybody that thinks dating someone older is the answer to all their problems is in for a huge wake up call. Sure, there's the few that have had bad luck with women and really are ready to settle down and haven't found the right person but that's a very small percentage of them. Most older guys are single for 2 reasons: 1. There's something vastly wrong with them, 2. They enjoy the free meals they get from dumb 20 year old girl who think they'll be the one whose vagina makes the guy settle down (because let's face it, if he's 35 and dating a 20 year old, he's not doing it for your brains). Let the hating begin.

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    • No hate here. You sir have a point.

    • I'd guess that single guys who are 40 or older and have never settled down... it's unusual if there's not a reason. but a lot of 30+ men and women who are single are single because they are divorced.

      As for 'not dating for brains', I'm not sure, there are smart 20 year olds and dumb 40 year olds. People -may- get more mature with age but they don't get smarter.

  • What happens when a 25 year old person doesn't have any of the cons, but all of the pros?

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    • It's strange to grey in your mid twenties

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    • Yeah well I am neither losing my hair nor going bald, but is this "silver fox" that much of a pro? I am good looking, and will be when it turns grey too :)

    • It's not strange to have grey hair in your twenties. It's actually very common. It's way more noticeable with guys who have darker hair. You wouldn't necessarily notice it on a guy with blonde hair and nowadays too many people dye their hair, so you would never know.

  • The key words "like every relationship". Each person is different, regardless of age or gender.

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  • No offense, but I wouldn't touch an early-twenties woman with a fifty foot pole. Especially these days.

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    • Okay 😂😂😂😂😂

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    • that's a good thing in my books, haha.

    • Most guys think I'm crazy for not being attracted to young women. I mean, they are physically attractive, sure, but we would have NOTHING in common.

  • jannette723 are you blogger?

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  • Point no. 3 and 5 (pros) are pointless
    But overall the take was very good.

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  • Look im 37 and single i have dated younger and older women and younger isn't always better

    Pros: yes she's young she's hot she eager to try things and learn she's ready to have sex almost anywhere

    Cons: she's younger she still wants superficial things women my age are past and yes younger women ARE immature and she doesn't want kids she's still in love with her "perfect" body

    So being 37 single with no kids im looking for a 29-35 year old with no kids ready to settle down but unfortunately they dont exist most women who in there 20's were ruined by the bad boy and left with kids and take out their hangups on guys like me

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    • They're around but hard to find. I'm 31, no children, would love to settle down but haven't found someone yet.

  • why am i 18... lol!
    any thoughts on dating younger man?
    someone needs to spin this take "Pros and Cons of dating a cougar!"
    lol great take!

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  • Older men can not only take you to an exotic far away city, but they can also show you around!

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  • We're the best to be with. Luckily I like them young

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  • Hell yea when I'm old dude I wanna be banging all the sloots but right now that concept is slightly disturbing yet admirable.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Adding to the CONS list... the constant chiding by your man that you don't know anything about anything because you're young and haven't experienced life.

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    • i get the " you're still growing up, you're going to change" bullshit

    • He's not even that much older if you're speculating

  • LOL. Why is there a bunch of people on here bashing this?

    I know that there are older men who are not as you described. I don't know if this is what they typically tend to be. But I do think that older men--from what I've seen--tend to be more rational from their younger counterparts.

    I would like to also add that I think Patti Stanger is right when she said that divorced men are the best kept secret. And "older" men tend to be divorced.

    www.pattiknows.com/.../

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    • Is being more rational seen as good thing by women?

    • If I had to speak for the majority of women, I would say yes.

      Being rational doesn't mean 'agreeing to whatever a woman says'. It's having common sense/logic. I personally love that in any guy, because even though I wouldn't want to admit that I may be too emotional and I'm letting my feelings cloud my judgment, the fact that a rational man can bring me down the Earth makes me 1) respect him even more 2) willing and happy admit that I was wrong.

      He can't be a rational asshole/dick though. I think this goes without saying.

  • the father questions get old fast lol

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  • Yes!!! The silver fox kills me. Seriously though. I think it is extremely hot. My boyfriend has some gray hair now on both sides of his head, so it turns me on whenever I see him. He takes good care of himself meaning he doesn't smell, dress bad or like an old man, or have a turkey lucky neck skin (got this from the anonymous below, lol). I soon will have that too so it doesn't matter. :)

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  • Cons, he is wrinkly... smells like an old man, dresses like an old man, and have turkey lurky neck skin

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  • Feels like there are more pros than cons! I've always found guya around my age ro be good looking but immature. Im also a faithful person, who wants to be in an actual relationship but the guys my age just want to hook up... and thats not what Im looking for. Haha so I see far more pros than cons to this! Haha :D

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  • the only thing good about being with an older guy is that he'll probably be able to support you and help you through some things emotionally because he's capable of being supportive. Don't get me wrong though, there are tons of guys in their forties who work deadbeat jobs and don't have a clue

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    • You don't think a younger guy can be emotionally supportive? (Or is less likely to?)

  • Unfortunately, this is not very accurate. Age has nothing to do with a man's maturity and stability. It's all in his nature. I know several men in their 30s and 40s who are single because the can't keep it in their pants with just one girl. My ex had 4 kids with me then we split and he had 3 kids with another girl and one with yet another. He is 33. His dad also has several kids with different women and he is in his 50s. Where I am, it's common for men to cheat. I also know several guys who are out partying in their late 30s and early 40s. I also know guys in their early 20s who wouldn't dream of mistreating a woman in any way. Same goes for some older guys. Like I said, it just depends on the guy.

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  • I loooooooove guys that are older than me! :) I can't date guys that are younger, my age or maybe 2 years older than me. They are too immature. I like when a guy is mature and knows what he wants. Their is this one guy that is in his late twenties that has caught my eye... lol...

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  • Well that was informative and insightful, such depth and reasoning... totally worth the two minutes it took you to write.

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  • My experience has been different I have dated 2 men that are 30. Older does not mean more mature, experienced or ready to settle down. One guy I was with for 2 years he was financially stable and had kids but he liked to have his cake and eat it too and had commitment issues which is why he never married any of his kids' mothers and I was not going to be the next one that he knocked up and left alone. The other had never loved anyone but himself and never had any serious relationships, he thought because he was older that he could boss me around, take advantage of me and that I was supposed to listen to everything he says because he was older than me he treated me like a kid and was very controlling. He was not looking to settle down and hated kids which he lied about in the beginning. Sex was ok I have had better because he like to be i control his experience lacked in the bedroom because he did not like trying anything new. Most older people are set their ways and a younger person is still getting to know themselves and evolving which can be a challenge or a good thing as long as they support you and not try to change you. Despite my negative experience with older men I still like older guys because I know they are not all the same.

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  • He's good with sexual stuff. Good lover passionate romantic. His experience is sexy. He knows what makes a woman tick more. But when I am middle aged I will be with an old fart. What if he wants to retire first. Or is too tired to care for kids. Or can't get it up anymore. I have daddy issues so I always go older. But it's probably not healthy. I'm just screwed up :(

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  • I would be okay if Ezra from Pretty little lairs and he's a lot older then me

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  • I am with a man 24 years older than myself and I have never been happier. He is kind, considerate, intelligent, witty and a complete gentleman. We have not been intimate yet, so I do not know how that will go, but I love how I feel when I am around him and he has the ability to turn me with words alone. I love older men. Yes, there are down sides, but you have to weigh the pros and cons in all relationships. No one is perfect.

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  • 2 of the cons look like... pros lol :)

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  • Not true, I "dated" a guy who is 35 and he's very unstable, he doesn't want any commitment besides sex when HE want's it. He didn't want to do anything, not even movies. He claims that his life is "simple" yeah ok.

    He had low self esteem, so he tried to use me for Ego boost, by playing games with me, he would text me then when I would text him back he would ignore me for a few days then come back around out of the blue like nothing ever happened. He's also very manipulative. And I've had a better sex partner in his 20's then him.

    Just my experience with a older guy.

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  • in my exspirince I dated a few older guys online were 25 26 27 28 29 24 23 age group and it didn't go so well because the ones I dated were immature and mean to me were as I tried to date young guys as 18-22 age group and I found that they were nice to me and mature but I stoped dating because I wanted to be single and knew that a reletionship would have been hard for me

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    • 23-29 may be older to you, but I do not think that was the demographic she meant in this My Take.

    • oh was thinking more of the age 30 group?

  • Not all older men are good in bed. Not all younger men are bad in bed. Just note, some older men are immature, some younger men are mature.

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    • You are not lying, I know from experience, but never again.

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    • I don't know why I was even anon.

    • @sugardandylion because I didn't expect him to be so immature. At first he was perfect, but as time went on he showed his true colors. I would rather deal with a man my age than an old immature one who is stuck in his ways.

  • Sometimes people will try asking if you're a gold digger.

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    • This. I hate this. Not all older men are wealthy. My man once was well off, but after divorce and having to retire early due to health problems, he certainly is not now. I am better off financially than he is, and that is not saying much.

    • That must suck!

  • Dang the older man I was with was the complete opposite of everything you wrote. The only one he matched up your was that he was close to my dad's age. He was immature, financially unstable, didn't know what he wanted out of life, he could keep a hard but didn't believe in Viagra. He tried to act like an 20 year old but he was 46. I'm Never dating an older man again.

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