Dating An Older Man: Pros and Cons

Dating An Older Man: Pros and Cons

Dating an older man is nothing like dating one your age (in my case it would be early 20's). In some cases it can be better and in other cases it doesn't work out. Like every relationship dating an older man will have its ups, down and complications.

Here are some pros and cons based on my experiences.

CONS:

  1. Ready to settle down: A man in his 30’s is most likely ready to settle down; have a family and kids. Something a woman in her (early) 20’s may not be ready for.
  2. He doesn’t stay out late: After a certain age men don’t want to be out all night drinking and dancing. He just wants to stay home with you and be in bed by 11 (which doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing).
  3. He gets compared to your father: “Isn’t he as old as your father?” a question that makes everyone uncomfortable, but can be easily ignored. All that matters is how you feel about each other.

PROS:

  1. Life experience: An older man has more experience and knowledge. He knows what he's doing and he knows what he wants.
  2. Maturity: He's been in his share of serious relationships, so he knows what it takes to be in a committed adult relationship. And he probably knows how to deal with his emotions better than a man 10 years younger.
  3. Silver fox: I don’t know why, but it’s so hot. A man who is confident with his grays is way sexier than one who dyes them to make himself look younger.
  4. He knows who he is: While your twenty-something-year-old boyfriend is busy trying to find himself, an older man has already found himself. He knows his likes and dislikes very well.
  5. Bedroom: He’s awesome in the sack… That’s all I’ll say about that.

Tell me your thoughts and personal experiences in the comments!


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What Guys Said 19

  • It's definitely a generic set of pros and cons. As others would be quick to point out, there are guys who are equally lost and at sea at 40 as they were at 20. I mean, just look at some of the losers on this site who absolutely refuse to learn anything. I can't imagine they are going to become learned suave lotharios by the time they start having a mid-life crisis. As sad as it is for a 20 something year old to be obsessed with the size of his dick, if he's still worrying about it at 40... there's just no help.

    If you've had a good experience dating an older man, more power to you. I for one, am still enjoying dating too much to want to settle down yet.

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  • Look im 37 and single i have dated younger and older women and younger isn't always better

    Pros: yes she's young she's hot she eager to try things and learn she's ready to have sex almost anywhere

    Cons: she's younger she still wants superficial things women my age are past and yes younger women ARE immature and she doesn't want kids she's still in love with her "perfect" body

    So being 37 single with no kids im looking for a 29-35 year old with no kids ready to settle down but unfortunately they dont exist most women who in there 20's were ruined by the bad boy and left with kids and take out their hangups on guys like me

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    • They're around but hard to find. I'm 31, no children, would love to settle down but haven't found someone yet.

  • Lol... anybody that thinks dating someone older is the answer to all their problems is in for a huge wake up call. Sure, there's the few that have had bad luck with women and really are ready to settle down and haven't found the right person but that's a very small percentage of them. Most older guys are single for 2 reasons: 1. There's something vastly wrong with them, 2. They enjoy the free meals they get from dumb 20 year old girl who think they'll be the one whose vagina makes the guy settle down (because let's face it, if he's 35 and dating a 20 year old, he's not doing it for your brains). Let the hating begin.

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    • No hate here. You sir have a point.

    • I'd guess that single guys who are 40 or older and have never settled down... it's unusual if there's not a reason. but a lot of 30+ men and women who are single are single because they are divorced.

      As for 'not dating for brains', I'm not sure, there are smart 20 year olds and dumb 40 year olds. People -may- get more mature with age but they don't get smarter.

  • You forgot one extra con that he will die way before you.

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    • Did you know when you going to die? Loool.

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    • Yes I know that, but you are not weight in that older people TEND have more health risk factors and that chance of dying at any moment. Now I highlighted the word "tend" so you wouldn't quote on quote have an excuse to put words in my mouth. In the end older people have a higher chance of dying

    • Oh you also forgot to add another con that a lot of much older men date younger girls just to get in their pants and then they leave them and also use them to have her by him stuff. I hear and see older men doing this to younger girls all the time and trust me I am a guy I know how men think better than you do.

  • I had two relationships that went quite well with a 25 year old and a 28 year old woman.

    They were more mature than most that age it was more of fun thing... they were not ready to settle down, nor was I, but we enjoyed each others company and they admitted they felt admired and respected the entire time. I am not a player type and even though we were not committed in any way I explained I do not fool around... just for simple safety reasons. I think they appreciated this more than anything.

    Would I have taken it further... perhaps with the 28 year old... we had a lot in common and a great connection... ultimately though she was not in that frame of mind as she was attempting to start up her own business!

    Regardless, I think some good can result from or experiences with older and younger relationships... I think it helps us to find the type of person and qualities we like and are eventually meant to meet!

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  • Point no. 3 and 5 (pros) are pointless
    But overall the take was very good.

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  • Daddy issues much?

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  • why am i 18... lol!
    any thoughts on dating younger man?
    someone needs to spin this take "Pros and Cons of dating a cougar!"
    lol great take!

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  • What happens when a 25 year old person doesn't have any of the cons, but all of the pros?

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    • It's strange to grey in your mid twenties

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    • Yeah well I am neither losing my hair nor going bald, but is this "silver fox" that much of a pro? I am good looking, and will be when it turns grey too :)

    • It's not strange to have grey hair in your twenties. It's actually very common. It's way more noticeable with guys who have darker hair. You wouldn't necessarily notice it on a guy with blonde hair and nowadays too many people dye their hair, so you would never know.

  • The key words "like every relationship". Each person is different, regardless of age or gender.

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  • I want to be an older mature guy so much but I just have to be patient and enjoy what I am right now. Older men look like they have everything figured out already such a dream life..

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  • Older men can not only take you to an exotic far away city, but they can also show you around!

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  • We're the best to be with. Luckily I like them young

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  • You forgot about the back pain in the high time of sex

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  • jannette723 are you blogger?

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  • Well I've heard old (er) men say that "you're only as old as the woman you feel."

    I can understand what they get out of it... I guess this is a reason not to settle down when you're young (for guys), I'd like to cash in on the female perception that older guys are better when I'm older.

    I think something which some girls may be inclined to overlook is that rather than being more decent older guys are just more skilled at manipulating women.

    As for the sex I guess they might have the technique down, but are they fit enough to carry it out... what if you want seconds?

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  • Well frankly with the cons you are spot on with the settling down thing but some men including me can and want to party late. Also people can say what they want and unless they are paying my bills I could care less what they think. Yeah we are awesome in the sack and I love who I am.

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  • No offense, but I wouldn't touch an early-twenties woman with a fifty foot pole. Especially these days.

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    • Okay 😂😂😂😂😂

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    • that's a good thing in my books, haha.

    • Most guys think I'm crazy for not being attracted to young women. I mean, they are physically attractive, sure, but we would have NOTHING in common.

  • Hell yea when I'm old dude I wanna be banging all the sloots but right now that concept is slightly disturbing yet admirable.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Unfortunately, this is not very accurate. Age has nothing to do with a man's maturity and stability. It's all in his nature. I know several men in their 30s and 40s who are single because the can't keep it in their pants with just one girl. My ex had 4 kids with me then we split and he had 3 kids with another girl and one with yet another. He is 33. His dad also has several kids with different women and he is in his 50s. Where I am, it's common for men to cheat. I also know several guys who are out partying in their late 30s and early 40s. I also know guys in their early 20s who wouldn't dream of mistreating a woman in any way. Same goes for some older guys. Like I said, it just depends on the guy.

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  • Not all older men are good in bed. Not all younger men are bad in bed. Just note, some older men are immature, some younger men are mature.

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    • You are not lying, I know from experience, but never again.

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    • I don't know why I was even anon.

    • @sugardandylion because I didn't expect him to be so immature. At first he was perfect, but as time went on he showed his true colors. I would rather deal with a man my age than an old immature one who is stuck in his ways.

  • I prefer boys my own age, older men take advantage of how naive young people are, they have money and life experience to make it easy for them to become controlling, and they often try to boss you around like they are your dad! They can also be very possessive and overbearing. I tried to date an older guy but we never got past the flirting and kissing stage because he would call me weird stuff like "Little one" and "little girl" and it creeped me out (even though I was 18) I had JUST turned 18 and it was like I was a "innocent little girl" fetish for him it was messed up. Now I am with a boy 11 months younger than me and we are more equal and I'm glad I waited to have someone my own age as a serious boyfriend. We are at the same stage in life and we can struggle through being new to adulthood together. As for older men having more sexual experience and being better, I wouldn't know because my boyfriend is my first but I am more than satisfied with my 18 year old boyfriend! Plus he remembers better than an older man would what it's like to be new to sex, and he was willing to take things as slow as I wanted.

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  • " older men" like younger women not Bc you're mature, but Bc they are not mature, and they will continue to like younger Womdn when you are "older". Have fun.

    Getting with someone who chose you Bc you're twenty something is like getting into a rekationship with somrine eho cheated on their current oartner to be with you. They'll do it again. When you're no longer in your twenties.

    For sex and flings -sure. but being in a long term relationship last your twenties, wuth someone who only wanted you Bc you were in your twenties us just really naive and not well thought out at all.

    Note. Guys in their twenties have growing up to do Bc they are in their twenties. Just like you have growing up to do when you're in your twenties. You miss the opportunity to do that when you jump into a relationship with your dad.

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  • I'm with an older guy. It has it's pro's but if I entered the dating game again I think I'd go for younger this time.

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  • Con: He's most likely going to die way before you if you guys last.

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    • meh, i m 31 and date girls your age. we thought about it...10 years isn't so bad... she might even die fasster...

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    • say you mary someone your age. the chances of you dying on the same yr is very very slim... or even within a dcade span

    • BUT I have a better chance of minimizing the time one of us is alive while the other isn't if I marry in my age range. @I_AM_LEGEND

  • Three or five years ago, I was so into older men. They are just hot. I though that maybe I could get into a relationship with one.

    I had physical experiences with men in their thirties and it was great and fun. I dated a man who was ten years older than me and that's when I realized it was not for me.
    Yes, they are hot but I was overthinking the age difference. I'm 23 and I can't imagine having a family right now it was too much.

    I'm obviously not talking five years difference. When it's close to ten years older, I couldn't.
    As it turned out my boyfriend is my age and I just love it. It's so less complicated, we're at the same stage in our life and we want the same thing. It's cool that some people have no problem with it, I just realized it wasn't for me.

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    • And they're stuck in their ways, we have different emotions that were still going through and when we show them, to them we're "emotionally unstable" Nah I'll pass too lol

  • My experience has been different I have dated 2 men that are 30. Older does not mean more mature, experienced or ready to settle down. One guy I was with for 2 years he was financially stable and had kids but he liked to have his cake and eat it too and had commitment issues which is why he never married any of his kids' mothers and I was not going to be the next one that he knocked up and left alone. The other had never loved anyone but himself and never had any serious relationships, he thought because he was older that he could boss me around, take advantage of me and that I was supposed to listen to everything he says because he was older than me he treated me like a kid and was very controlling. He was not looking to settle down and hated kids which he lied about in the beginning. Sex was ok I have had better because he like to be i control his experience lacked in the bedroom because he did not like trying anything new. Most older people are set their ways and a younger person is still getting to know themselves and evolving which can be a challenge or a good thing as long as they support you and not try to change you. Despite my negative experience with older men I still like older guys because I know they are not all the same.

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  • LOL. Why is there a bunch of people on here bashing this?

    I know that there are older men who are not as you described. I don't know if this is what they typically tend to be. But I do think that older men--from what I've seen--tend to be more rational from their younger counterparts.

    I would like to also add that I think Patti Stanger is right when she said that divorced men are the best kept secret. And "older" men tend to be divorced.

    www.pattiknows.com/.../

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    • Is being more rational seen as good thing by women?

    • If I had to speak for the majority of women, I would say yes.

      Being rational doesn't mean 'agreeing to whatever a woman says'. It's having common sense/logic. I personally love that in any guy, because even though I wouldn't want to admit that I may be too emotional and I'm letting my feelings cloud my judgment, the fact that a rational man can bring me down the Earth makes me 1) respect him even more 2) willing and happy admit that I was wrong.

      He can't be a rational asshole/dick though. I think this goes without saying.

  • I am with a man 24 years older than myself and I have never been happier. He is kind, considerate, intelligent, witty and a complete gentleman. We have not been intimate yet, so I do not know how that will go, but I love how I feel when I am around him and he has the ability to turn me with words alone. I love older men. Yes, there are down sides, but you have to weigh the pros and cons in all relationships. No one is perfect.

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  • If you're with a much older guy in the long haul, another downside is that you'll become more of his care taker as you get older.

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    • Yes this happen to my aunt she married a man who was 21 years older than her. Now she is 63 and he's 84 and she spends every day taking care of him because he is bedridden

    • I personally do not mind this. I love taking care of my man. He doesn't live with me, but if he did, this would not bother me at all. It is my pleasure to take care of the ones I love.

  • My finest lovers both in and out of bed were more than 20 years older than I am. Certainly you can find great lovers nearer to your own age, but those dream lovers have a depth and breadth of experience than makes a young man pale in compassion.

    This does not mean all older men are better. The douchebag who never learned is still an old douchebage. But highly intelligent men who have taken the time to learn for thier female lovers what pleases a woman and have flexible minds, these are amazing lovers.

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  • I loooooooove guys that are older than me! :) I can't date guys that are younger, my age or maybe 2 years older than me. They are too immature. I like when a guy is mature and knows what he wants. Their is this one guy that is in his late twenties that has caught my eye... lol...

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  • Feels like there are more pros than cons! I've always found guya around my age ro be good looking but immature. Im also a faithful person, who wants to be in an actual relationship but the guys my age just want to hook up... and thats not what Im looking for. Haha so I see far more pros than cons to this! Haha :D

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  • Well that was informative and insightful, such depth and reasoning... totally worth the two minutes it took you to write.

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  • the only thing good about being with an older guy is that he'll probably be able to support you and help you through some things emotionally because he's capable of being supportive. Don't get me wrong though, there are tons of guys in their forties who work deadbeat jobs and don't have a clue

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    • You don't think a younger guy can be emotionally supportive? (Or is less likely to?)

  • Yes!!! The silver fox kills me. Seriously though. I think it is extremely hot. My boyfriend has some gray hair now on both sides of his head, so it turns me on whenever I see him. He takes good care of himself meaning he doesn't smell, dress bad or like an old man, or have a turkey lucky neck skin (got this from the anonymous below, lol). I soon will have that too so it doesn't matter. :)

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  • 2 of the cons look like... pros lol :)

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  • I have A best husband is this world. He is 13years older than me. He guide me. He show me the world. And until now I'm still in love. Life is awesome

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    • is he well off?

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    • also, i meant ability and experience is more attractive.

    • Ohhh. That's good for you then.

  • Why you posted a picture of gay ass max 😂

    Old men are the shit though. Lol

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