Dating as an Asian male (Truth/Myths)

Dating as an Asian male (Truth/Myths)

Here are some honest opinions that many guys will not like. These are based on my personal experiences dating women (~50 in my lifetime):

Interracial Dating:

- Dating will be harder as an Asian male in a Western Society compared with men of other ethnicities. This has been backed up through ancidotal evidence as well as many studies. As far as I'm concerned, this is a truth.

- Dating is difficult for any race. I've got heaps of white friends and when we go out at night, they get shot down left, right and center too. Yes, being Asian makes it even harder. But just remember, other guys don't have it easy either. Dating and getting girls is not easy.

- Generally speaking, most caucasian women (>80%) do not prefer Asian men

- From my experience, roughly 10-15% Asian women do not prefer Asian men. 30-40% Asian women DO prefer Asian men. The remaining (~50%) are 50/50 between asian/non-asian men.

- Dating other ethnic minorities (black, hispanic, indian etc) is generally favourable to an Asian man.

- Dating overseas is generally favourable to an Asian man. The best countries for an Asian man to date in order are: SE Asia, E Asia, Eastern Europe , Central Europe , South America. (i haven't dated anywhere else so can't comment). Countries that have heavy immigration - such as Canada, US, Australia, New Zealand etc generally do not fair well for an Asian man.

What works/doesn't work:

- Having a strong cultural values, work ethic, family values etc is a good thing. A lot of Asian guys (and girls) try to reject things that Asian cultures encourage (hoping that white society will like them better) - this is a bad idea. These are all GOOD attributes.

- Being shy is a bad idea. Unforunately, this is something that is almost synonmous with Asian culture. We are taught to be conservative and respectful. Something that doesn't do too well in Western Society.

- Physical attraction plays a huge role in attracting girls. As an Asian guy, main things you should do is: hit the gym, get a good haircut, wear clothes that fit you well. Do not fall into the trap of: 'don't get too big, because girls don't like guys that are too big'. This is true if you are black/white guy. But since most Asian guys have a smaller frame, there is no 'too big' for you, so get as big as you can (naturally with reasonable bodyfat). When it comes to haircut and clothing, do not choose clothes that are feminine. Generally this is a bad idea anyway, but as most Asian faces are more feminine than white/black men, this is an even worse idea.

- A lot of Asian parents tend to tell their kids to stay away from dating and just focus on study/career. This is generally a bad idea. Especially as a guy. A girl is always in the dating game whether she wants to or not - as guys will be hitting on her. A guy on the other hand has to make the approach, make the moves. This becomes problematic when a guy reaches his early-mid twenties without any experience, since most women around that age will have relatively more experience than the guy. This mismatch in experience can be difficult to overcome.

- Pick up artistry (PUA). I've heard that due to the dating problems for Asian men in the US. Asian men make up ~25% of "pickup artists" at many bootcamps etc (even though they only make up 4-5% of the US population). PUA is not a bad thing. But for an Asian guy (any guy) with poor social skills, it is not effective. Before one gets into PUA, you must improve your social skills. Without basic social skills, no 'technique' will work.

- No matter how good you get at PUA, how much you improve yourself. You will still be at a disadvantage in some respects. Sorry but this is true. Everyone is limited in someway. PUA at the end of the day is a numbers game. Chances are, you still won't be able to get that 10/10 model, but you will be much better at getting the girls 'within your league'.

- Date girls who appreciate you. This is the best advice I've been given. Don't waste your time with girls who aren't interested, won't give you time of day etc etc. Eminem doesn't go around trying to convince a group of conversatives that he is an amazing muscian, because there are already millions that appreciate him for his talents. Every man has his 'audience' so to speak, find yours, don't bother with those that aren't interested in who you really are.

- Dating for men can be a vicious cycle. If you ask women what they are attracted to, many (if not most) will say 'confidence'. Confidence is simply that you've performed a skill and through repetition you have the 'confidence' that you can do it again. Dating is a skill like any other. If you keep riding a bike and falling off you will quickly become discouraged. So ride a tricycle first. Get good at that first, then progress to riding a bicycle :)


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What Girls Said 12

  • I've seen multiple Blasian couples and they never had any probems

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    • No Latiasian? Or Mexicasian?

    • Nope. Most Asians date other Asians but I've only seen Asian + black or Asian + white

  • Asian guys (yellow) are predictable.

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  • Some of this makes no sence, race doesn't matter if you love someone. And to be homest I prefer Asian guys, they are so handsome and most are such gentlemans. There is NOTHING wrong with Asian. People who are racist to Asians need a punch in their face.

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  • Some of this is true while some of it isn't. I've seen more AMBW couples than AMWW. So yeah that might be accurate. I don't know about the being big part. I know a attractive Asian guy that isn't so big looking. I guess that part depends on the girl herself.
    The shy part of Asian males depends. I know some loud ass Cambodians & Hmongs. Sometimes being quiet is attractive. But if the girl likes you but doesn't make the first move that's when you step out your zone.
    As for the parents part I don't know. But I do know some guys that have black girlfriends and their parents tell them to date within their race. Which is kinda sad, because I see some fine Asian dudes but I tend to stray away because I know they often believe in keeping their blood "pure" (if that makes sense) & their parents won't approve. It's kinda sad.

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  • That was very interesting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 😊

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  • I'm white and I love Asian men. It entirely depends on the woman. My half sister is also white and married an Asian guy too. I think if you live in a place like California that is heavily populated with Asians it would be far more easier to find a woman that wants one rather than a place where only a very low percentage of men are Asian.

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    • Will it be us next baby 💋

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    • @hypno-trip @Keyspirits

      It's almost like you two are like brothers or relatives and hypnotrip has to excuse you and drag you out of trouble 😂😂😂

      Hypno's got your back ;D

    • Ahh same I'm also white and I love Asian guys. So handsome and such gentlemans!

  • I feel this.

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    • How?

    • Because it makes sense for people couple of types of people ik.

  • Interesting take. Here's to hoping that the rest of the world stops worshipping white men and women as gods in the near future.

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  • I don't agree with a lot of this post. I think anyone that's going to some misogynistic PUA sites and tries it out on women should be kneed in the balls. But there are PUA sites that are actually trying to help men get out and pick up women whether for long term relationships or one night stands... yet NOT use them.

    I've seen a few sites like that. I don't mind those.

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    • Which points specifically do you not agree with? I think you've misjudged the purpose of this post. These are purely based upon my personal experiences, I'm not an advocate of PUA nor I am a PUA nor do I care about PUA.

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    • Didn't see that first line because all I did was skim. My mistake.

    • I agree those pua things are bs anyways you can't teach confidence either you have to your ego fed and also depends on your personality. And i don't like how they don't teach long term relationships either.

  • White women like Asian men who are martial artist types, who tend to be more assertive and balanced. Asian guys are hot. If they have any disadvantage, it might be the social skills area. Step up your game and the chicks will dig you way more.

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  • Asian men please love me

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What Guys Said 19

  • lol yeah i guess Asians got problems, the ones that weren't born in the U. S. hahaa.

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    • Its really strange, but in my experience/observation I've found that American born Asians struggle just as much if not more. Most Asians born overseas end up getting a girl from their 'mother' country, but this isn't popular with Asians born in the states as there is some stigma that getting a 'fob' girl is seen as a step backwards by their Asian peers/family.

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    • cool story

    • You got a problem. Asians are awesome

  • I think your stats and ideas are outdated by about 5 years.

    Things have progressed quite a lot in recent times.

    Asian men still have a disadvantage in dating, but it's no where near as bad as it was.

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  • Man, no love for the Brown Girls? I think brown girls are the best when they take care of their bodies. Body shape of a black girl, petite and cute like a Asian girl, facial structure of a white girl and beautiful complexion.

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  • What do you mean by riding a tricycle first before riding a bicycle?

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    • I admit its a bad analogy. But basically for a socially in adept person, it would make more sense to develop normal social skills (small steps) and build up one's confidence before trying to pick up women as the success rate will otherwise be very low. Confidence is attractive quality to women and its built on prior success, so if there is consistent failure its becomes a vicious cycle and eats away at the persons confidence.

  • This is bullsh*t 😂 As much as I want to say this... i can't 😂 honestly, I've had no hassles in getting with girls outside my race reason why? I'm not the average Asian you'll meet.

    Oh you're asian? Having fun shooting yourself in the foot? ;D

    Maybe just like... Step up your game up a little and you'll be suited. Majority of intensely ethnic Asians do have trouble with dating because of cultural barrier but as an Asian raised in a European, American, African environment, it placed be in a highly advantaged position.

    I might agree that many Asians need to step up their game to change YOUR statistics but it all depends on the individual. Because I can tell you that I'm not the average Asian you'll meet so I cannot say this applies to me.

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    • good job I am proud

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    • Lets get one thing straight first. I do fine with girls, I get more girls than most men. I've probably dated more white girls than the average white guy. Ok.

      Now so many Asian guys come on here being defensive stating that they are tall, good with girls etc etc So what? I am too. But does this represent the majority of Asian guys? Don't be deluded. Look around you, read up on the statistics and studies done which pretty much show that Asian guys are probably the least desired male race. Does that mean every Asian guy is terrible with women? Of course not. But a large percentage of them do struggle. Numbers don't lie.

    • Bro... That's preetttyyyyy much what I said in my post. You fell off.

      And I made it clear that as much as I wanted to call bullsh*t, I can't because this doesn't apply to me.

      So why are you liking things? 😂😂😂

  • you racist! this post is a racist!

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  • An essay you might want to check out: "Is Love Colorblind?" by Steve Sailer. National Review, sometime in 1997, I can't seem to find it online at the moment.

    whitemansfallacy.wordpress.com/.../

    takimag.com/.../print#axzz3ZCBEXpHl

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  • Does anyone have an explanation for why marriages between an Asian man and white woman are 59% more likely to end in divorce than a white/white marriage?

    52% of all marriages are likely to end in divorce or separation, so we'd be looking at about 80% failure rate.

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    • What are the statistics for Asian woman and white man divorce rates? I'd expect it to be higher than white/white or asian/asian as well. Cultural differences is probably the chief cause in my opinion, it might not be so apparent at first, but once married with kids and the lot it can add up.

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    • Interesting statistics. Source?

    • Perhaps the term "Oriental", as in (East) Asian, which is seen as derogatory, will come back?

      I am reminded of an exchange between two friends: Debbie, an (East) Asian American, took umbrage at Partha's use of the term "Oriental" to describe his experiences in the Far East, as opposed to the Indian subcontinent, where he is from.

      "But you wouldn't understand--you're not Asian" said Debbie to Partha. This took Partha aback, since he was called "Asian" all during his time in the UK. But somehow in the USA, he wasn't anymore?

  • Your take is perfect. Liked it.

    However, SE Asia sucks for Asians tbh.

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    • Thanks. Do you mind elaborating on why you think dating for Asians in SE Asia sucks?

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    • By SE Asia, I mean thailand, vietnam, malaysia, singapore etc. They look Asian... I don't understand your comment of "Asiatic looks are in minority"

    • Oh lol. Okay I understand now. I misunderstood that sorry.

      Yup, now I completely agree with you :)

  • Maybe you have a hard time getting girls because you don't know that you're dumb? India is in Asia so Indians are Asians.

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    • India is in Asia but people from India are not Asian.

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    • All my Indian friends hate being called Asian, But they don't think they are middle eastern either... I don't know what to say.

    • @Dtegesd123 I wouldn't hate it if anyone called me an Asian. Any person with at least. 10 grams of brain won't get offended. India is in Asia so we ARE Asians.

  • So what is to a woman what a tricycle is to a bicycle? :P

    I very agree about focusing on study/career being a bad thing as social skills do need to be developed and used. I guess that advice would have worked in cultures where arranged marriages were the norm as being wealthy and having status would be all that mattered and not social skills.

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  • Asians aren't that ugly if you're one of the fit ones and dress well. Maybe it's because you have "white fever" in the same way some crazy white guy may have "yellow fever"

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  • As an Asian man I'm calling bullshit. I've never had a problem with girls liking me, going out on dates, or having relationships. I am about 6ft and definitely do not have a scrawny/weak frame.

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    • Calling bullshit on what? These are my experiences/observations and I'm telling it how it is. I'm Asian, I currently have a girlfriend and I've never had a real problem getting dates either. I've previously dated plenty of white, black and Asian girls. But this doesn't mean what I've written isn't true for the average Asian male living in a Western Society.

    • Bro... Do you kind telling me how D'yu get so tall

      Height is rare in my genetics 😒

      What have you been doing/eating?

    • When I was a kid, I would drink a gallon of milk a week. In the 7th grade I could be easily mistaken for someone in the 10th grade.

  • Wow after reading this I was very surprised at how many of your points were very true. I dont look asain, so most of those points dont really relate to me, but both my uncles grew up with very strict asain parents, who forced them to force on school 100%. As a result both of them grew up to have poor social skills when it came to dating.

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  • Time well spent...

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    • @I_am_repulsive I like your sarcasm. I personally don't agree with this take at all.

    • @xxbebosxx Which point (s) don't you agree with? They are based upon my experiences, but I will give an explanation/elaborate on any one of them.

  • everyone wants the white girl.

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    • 'The' white girl? That's what I really hate. That picture the most guys have about a 'perfect' white girl, uhg.

  • Thank you so much for this MyTake it speaks into my life perfectly.
    I used to be shy but I've treated it and now I can confidently say I have almost no problem with shyness anymore. I'm comfortable with myself around people.
    I do tend to focus on my studies and career more than relationships. This has helped me in certain ways but I can't focus on that way forever. I need to develop my relationship side as well and I'm doing all that I can.

    It sucks for us Asian males because Asian females are often in high demand in western society but we Asian males are sometimes considered low tier.

    We naturally have more feminine faces, lower stature, smaller everything. It's like nature is stacked against us.

    I'm not complaining to be an Asian male I wouldn't trade it for anything else. But I'd like to find what is sexy and hot within myself and my demographic and wear that on my sleeve whenever I walk out the door.

    I want to feel hot and manly too I'm sure all Asian males need that deep down

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    • I find being an Asian male 'fun' in a way. It's like playing a video game using a 'lower tier' character. Even though the game becomes much harder, its much more fun when you do succeed.

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    • yea sometimes I exaggerate but I know I don't have it that bad yep...

    • Am I the only Asian who feels advantaged? 😂👌

      Although you're different to others, you should utilize your differences into unattainable qualities that no white/black/Latino guys can get.

      For example, my genetics don't allow me to be like those massive builders but when I get in the gym, I look aesthetic as fuuaarrr**** and slim type of shredded lean.

      I also like my face 😂 sorry to sound like an arrogant **** but yea... And also personality and traits that Asians have... Intelligence, wisdom, respect towards women, being kind and nurturing etc.

      Brothas brothas, hope isn't gone ;)

  • Too many Asian men focus solely white women. You exclude every other race of women but start whining when you get excluded by white women. Why do you get to exclude and they don't?

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    • I don't...

    • Unfortunately this is true for a lot of Asian men. Most Asian men either want white or Asian women. I think if Asian men opened up to other races of women (other than white/Asian), they'll possibly find more success than they expect.

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