Can someone help please? Do I need help? Will give best answer.

Here is my previous question:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q998259-boyfriend-lied-should-i-just-delete-it-myself-or-confront-him-about

Trying to keep it short

Bf had some inappropriate messages on his laptop he told me he deleted still there. Found it when I was downloading games for an emulator

HERE IS THE ISSUE :

After everyone's advice I confronted him. I held him and calmly sweetly and nicely asked if he remembered when he said he would delete it

He blew up. Said those messages had nothing to do with me, can't tell him what to do, and I was invading his privacy

I calmly explained I was just telling him how uncomfortable it was making me that he held onto it and lied about it

he got up and got ready to storm out like go back home

I said how tired I am of him reacting so angrily all the time and began packing his bag

He had an issue with me touching it and I mentioned how angry he is and to please calm down I am putting his jeans in it

He said BUT ITS MY BAG and ripped it from me as hard as he could and I fell

He always does that and something snapped in me and I slapped him in his face and threw his things in the hallway and kicked him out

The next day I kept crying because how guilty I felt and called and apologized for slapping him because ik it's wrong to put my hands on anyone

He says we still go out but I feel so unsure he never says sorry for anything I tried to talk things out w him but he feels he did nothing wrong

Do I need help? Like psychological?

Sorry so long I will do my best to thumb up everyone and best answer


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you two are going to work it out I think you both need to go to therapy, maybe alone (both of you) in addition to going together. I don't think YOU alone just need psychological help. You seem to lack communication skills and he NEEDS to be able to admit his wrongs.

    There was no reason to get defensive the way he did. There was no reason to get that angry. Even if its important to him, he could have expressed it in a more respectful way.

    I also think this is a really big fight over something that isn't necessarily a big deal. You know someone isn't dying, neither of you are cheating on the other... its all over some saved text.
    If you're going to work out, at some point he needs to be able to communicate with you. He needs to be able to express in some way why they are important to him. You need to be able to express to him in a calm way (without him yelling at you or losing his temper) what specifically hurts about it. He needs to be understanding of that and realize this isn't about controlling him or invading his privacy but an issue of your hurt feelings by what you saw. He needs to have respect for your feelings as YOU are in a relationship with him, not this text.

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    • Thank you all for commenting and helping me

      I don't know if we will stay together or not because I am still deciding if he will use force for the rest of his life towards me

      Also his anger is another thing to consider because I agree it wasn't that serious for him to react that way.

      I don't want to have to be blamed for standing up for myself forever. I know people don't change so it's something to think about Ty everyone (:

    • Thanks for MH.
      Well whatever you do just remember in time you'll be a stronger and smarter person. Whether you try again or not, you will be okay. You are absolutely right in your comment, do NOT EVER feel bad for standing up for yourself, demanding respect, and getting what you need to be happy in a relationship. If someone cannot give it to you, that is THEIR problem and THEIR loss.

      I'm always around here if you need to vent more or talk you can message me.

What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, laying a hand on him was assault and you could have been charged. But between you and me, this asshole desperately deserved and needed to be Bitch-slapped. Take a high-five, girl and get him outta your life.

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    • Yes I cried over the guilt of hitting him. It ate me alive. I got a nasty attitude from him when I called to apologize.

      We talked about what happened and he made it clear I'm just extra drama. And that he hated me during that time but he is over it. He never apologized and when I tried to show him what I felt he did wrong it was like pulling teeth and he made it clear he just wants to make male friends

      And he isn't getting any therapy for a relationship.

  • you need to not see that jerk ever again. he doesn't give a damned about you. he physically abused you when he threw you down like that.

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    • He thinks I'm crazy girlfriend type because I threw him out. He says I'm trying to get him arrested. And he says I over reacted.

      =.=

      But okay I understand thank you for commenting

    • you didn't overreact. he was the one who overreacted. he got physical with you and a real man never physically hurts a woman like that. what he did was inexcusable

  • Dump him, if he can't rationally explain to you why and gets angry he's not a good boyfriend

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  • I don't think you need help. I do think you've broken up and shouldn't see this guy again.

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What Girls Said 0

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