Here is my previous question:
Trying to keep it short
Bf had some inappropriate messages on his laptop he told me he deleted still there. Found it when I was downloading games for an emulator
HERE IS THE ISSUE :
After everyone's advice I confronted him. I held him and calmly sweetly and nicely asked if he remembered when he said he would delete it
He blew up. Said those messages had nothing to do with me, can't tell him what to do, and I was invading his privacy
I calmly explained I was just telling him how uncomfortable it was making me that he held onto it and lied about it
he got up and got ready to storm out like go back home
I said how tired I am of him reacting so angrily all the time and began packing his bag
He had an issue with me touching it and I mentioned how angry he is and to please calm down I am putting his jeans in it
He said BUT ITS MY BAG and ripped it from me as hard as he could and I fell
He always does that and something snapped in me and I slapped him in his face and threw his things in the hallway and kicked him out
The next day I kept crying because how guilty I felt and called and apologized for slapping him because ik it's wrong to put my hands on anyone
He says we still go out but I feel so unsure he never says sorry for anything I tried to talk things out w him but he feels he did nothing wrong
Do I need help? Like psychological?
Sorry so long I will do my best to thumb up everyone and best answer
Most Helpful Girl
If you two are going to work it out I think you both need to go to therapy, maybe alone (both of you) in addition to going together. I don't think YOU alone just need psychological help. You seem to lack communication skills and he NEEDS to be able to admit his wrongs.
There was no reason to get defensive the way he did. There was no reason to get that angry. Even if its important to him, he could have expressed it in a more respectful way.
I also think this is a really big fight over something that isn't necessarily a big deal. You know someone isn't dying, neither of you are cheating on the other... its all over some saved text.
If you're going to work out, at some point he needs to be able to communicate with you. He needs to be able to express in some way why they are important to him. You need to be able to express to him in a calm way (without him yelling at you or losing his temper) what specifically hurts about it. He needs to be understanding of that and realize this isn't about controlling him or invading his privacy but an issue of your hurt feelings by what you saw. He needs to have respect for your feelings as YOU are in a relationship with him, not this text.1