Guys: what are some of the main reasons you "faded away" on a girl?

What are some mannerisms or things girls did that made you lose interest and pull away on a girl?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's almost never the girl and always just my fear of engulfment. I always come up with some bullshit reason but after a while it always comes back to my fear of engulfment. I've put up with some of the craziest things from girls. Cheating, STDs, passive aggressive behavior but I normally only leave when that fear of engulfment pops up. And I know I'm not the only guy. I may be one of the few that admit it but I know I'm not the only one.

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    • Can you elaborate on this feeling of engulfment? Do you mean when she starts getting more needy or into you? Like you're not ready to commit or feel like you're losing your freedom? There must me something she does that triggers this feeling?

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    • Well first of all I can only speak for myself. Don't assume All men think like me. We're all unique and different you can't just understand guys you have to understand him personally. I have plenty of friends guys and girls but I also know I can make more so hanging on to one friendship never feels like something I needed to do. If things work then fine. So no I very rarely try to maintain a friendship with an ex if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't.

    • OMG i have this same problem ='(. I hate that i fear this so much too. Like a relationship and falling in love and having a life partner and kids is what i want. But I fear the same engulfment explanation he gave.

What Guys Said 7

  • In my case it has nothing to do with the girl and everything to do with me. I've had a lot of problems with depression and anxiety and when I do I tend to withdraw completely and cut ties with pretty much everyone. I know it's bad and it probably hurts both of us but it's a compulsion and I've never really been able to fight it effectively.

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    • wow, I think I do the same thing, then I feel like I don't need anybody for anything, once I find a stable place in this world that is.

    • So you never go back to that girl?

  • I would say if Im pursuing her and eventually doesn't show any interest, I will fade away. Like if I ask her out and she says yes but for some reason she is just never able to. Or I show interest and she never reciprocates so I have no idea if she is not interested or playing hard to get so I assume she isn't interested and I back off. I don't really want to waste my time. I like a girl to basically mirror what I do. If I show strong interest, I want her to as well. If I get her number, I want to call her soon and make something happen like a date or whatever. If it just doesn't click, I don't want to keep trying cuz its a waste of time also what if I have another girl I am interested in too, Im not going to wait for ever for her to make up her mind.

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  • Outside of my dealbreakers (drug use, party drinker, and single mom), it'd have to be their lack of interest actually. Like me always initiating calls and texts is pretty much a red flag to me and I fall out of contact due to her inability to simply text me one day asking me how I am doing.

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  • They think playing hard to get is clever.. and it is to a point. Too much though and it turns into mind games.. then give up

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    • Would you ever reach back out to that same girl in the future?

    • Yes.. if the stupid games stopped ! Xx

  • Being not hot.
    Being not interesting/smart/fun.

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  • Gives me her number message her never messages me back.

    Ask on date keeps making up excuses.

    Plays too many mind games (one minute she's attracted to me and after me next minute isn't really into me or into someone else.)

    Acts like rude bitch.

    Wants to string multiple guys along.

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    • Have you ever faded away bc she wouldn't have sex with you yet after several dates?

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    • So just to give an update I texted and he was honest and said an ex girlfriend resurfaced. Exes always get the upper hand bc they have so much history to go off of I guess...do guys ever come back in these situations if things don't work out again?

    • Yeah if him and his ex don't work things out again he'll come back to you

  • Talk too much.

    Be rude to others.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well I'm a girl and some of the reasons why I've not pursued guys even if I liked them were for shallow reasons :( either they didn't fit the "type" I usually went after, I thought I could do better, or I didn't pursue a relationship with a guy based on red flags. Maybe he lied too much, didn't text me or try to contact me enough, or his religious differences were just too big. If I have personality/ communication conflicts those are huge "No-No's" for me, I guess, unless they are cool enough then I'll bare with it but if they aren't good enough to bare with it I leave lol.

    This is my answer for why I didn't pursue a relationship with a guy.

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