What is the most often heard dating advice that never seem to work?

In my opinion it's:
- Be yourself.
- Just tell her that you like her.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of the most damaging advice isn't exactly wrong, its just used out of context or people don't realize how truly difficult it is to implement.

    A really good example of that is 'be yourself', which is so vague it seems useless. The more you show and reveal of yourself with confidence and in a relaxed way at peace with who you are, the more you will attract people who are good matches for you. But -really- being yourself, not some sanitized edited desexualized timid version of yourself, is terrifying.

    Part of the problem is that people tend to be shy, and develop crushes, and want advice on how to get some girl or guy. The whole approach is wrong. Even 'getting' someone won't really make you happy. What will make you happy is getting the right relationship, and that doesn't mean changing yourself so the person you have a crush on agrees to date you half heartedly, it means finding someone where the two of you are head over heels for each other and can't believe how compatible you are. And finding that person means getting a lot of fast NOs from people who may be attractive and nice, but aren't the right match for you.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I'd go with "stop looking for someone and they'll find you" and not so sure about the whole playing hard to get thing

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    • I agree. I hated the stop looking for someone they'll find you. So illogical

  • Let's just be friends. I'd say 98% of the time it's a train wreck.

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  • "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone"

    No. Stop it.

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  • #1 if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you!
    #2 be yourself
    #3 attraction takes time
    #4 don't be too available
    #5 if you ignore him, he'll run back chasing you

    Kill me now!

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    • #1 this depends. As long as he's just teasing you with words, or being playful around you, then there is a chance that he indeed likes you.
      #2 if you're too much of a tomboy, or you have some weird tendencies, then I'd refrain from that advice. Yes. Otherwise it's fine.
      #3 For men, mostly attraction works instantly. But if he displays behaviours described in #1 or contacts you often, then you can be sure that he likes you.
      #4 Actually this advice works. But only in the very beginning and only a few times. If you don't reply to him multiple times, then he may give up.
      #5 see #4

  • "Just tell them how you feel." Granted I've never done that, but guys have told me how they feel and were usually rejected.

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    • ... I always knew this is horrible advice.

    • No, it is good advice, they tried, they got shot down, they moved on. If they hadn't and had instead just pined for you for months, that would have been worse.

    • In some cases. Really depends on the person. If I were to be shot down by someone I would dwell on it for much longer than I would have feelings for them. One of my biggest fears is rejection.

  • Play hard to get, wait till he calls first, opposites attract...all of them! I figure if it's meant to be none of these things matter.

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  • "Let him come to you." o_O

    That has NEVER worked for me, haha!
    Horrible advice, telling someone NOT to go for it.

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    • Very true. If women do not show DIRECT interest many of us men would never think they liked us at all.

      When I do online dating I actually make it a point to take any girl who approaches me first out on at least one date. Then again I'm always looking for an excuse to go out and try something that would seem socially awkward to do alone (like going to a comedy club, for example).

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    • I'll send you a link of me playing guitar via PM and you give me feedback about my skills, ok?

    • easier to play* haha

      Sure...

What Guys Said 6

  • I have only started dating like January last year, but in my limited experience with the few repeat dates I've had it seems to be okay to text a "let's do this again" message a few hours after a first date.

    You don't have to wait a few days for fear of looking desperate -that will just make her think you aren't interested in her. You just have to follow the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Just send a quick line to show interest and that's it.

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  • Be yourself is a big one. Especially if your self is a jerk.

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  • yeah same here.

    -Be confident/be yourself
    -time heals the broken hearted.

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  • I think the worst ones I've heard is use pick up lines and always agree with her and be a gentlemen.

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  • Those are really good ones!

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  • to be yourself

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