Is arguing necesaary in relationships?

I hear people say all the time that if you don't have arguments in your relationship then it isn't a "real" relationship. I don't think that's true. I'm not the arguing type and I feel there should be compromise and that it doesn't have to take arguing to get there.

Updates:
I spelled necessary wrong, hope the grammar nazis don't come for me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of people say that if you argue in a relationship the "passion" is still there, but I think thats total bull shit. I think if you are in a passionate enough of a relationship you'd be able to sit down, express your feelings and be able to listen to and respect each others feeling. I totally agree with you, if you people in a relationship aren't able to compromise or negotiate or even except each others flaws and rather will bicker and argue and then just apologize with no real solution, it's not much of a "real" relationship. (Something my ex didn't seem to understand lol)

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What Guys Said 3

  • No, it's not. Having disagreements or even arguments is inevitable in relationships, but that doesn't mean it's necessary. Sure, knowing that the guy and girl still love each other is great and the feeling of falling in love again might be gratifying, but that will come naturally over the course of the relationship.

    And I'm glad that you noted and fixed your spelling error!

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  • No I don't think so.

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  • For women, yes.

    Women 'need' drama. They 'love' drama.

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    • Sorry, I'm just being honest.

      Why do girls talk shit about each other? Drama.

      Why do girls get bored when partners are too docile? Drama.

      What makes girlie TV shows successful? Drama.

    • I appreciate your honesty!
      Some girls, like myself, like to stay away from that kinda stuff

    • I'm glad someone does. Girls such as yourself surely exist. I just know there are more women out there where if their relationship didn't have fights, they wouldn't feel alive.

What Girls Said 6

  • Arguing doesn't mean fighting. i'm yet to hear of a long relationship in which there was never an argument. It shouldn't be an everyday thing, of course, but at some point you'll get to an argument. In my last relationship I had my first argument around the 5th-6th month. I'm never seeking conflict, if I can avoid it, I do it, but it's almost sure that you'll argue. Otherwise, how do you get to know all faces of the person you are with? Arguing doesn't mean there's no compromise. Compromise exists. You're committed that upon arguing you'll find a solution and you'll negotiate, even if this means it hurts to lose something or sacrifice something.

    I wouldn't call it "necessary", it's just something that happens. Like saying "arguing with your parents is necessary". You don't look for it and point in fact, you hate it, but if your mother does something or says something you strongly disagree with, you argue. Same thing. It doesn't mean you get violent or that love disappears. It's just human to fall in those situations.

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  • Well, it'd be best to see how he/she argues and experience it ba bit so that you know how self controlled he/she can be even when upset. You'd have experience dealing with him/her upset and know how to help your partner out and work past it. You don't want to be dating a long time and then see "jeez he/she can be so dramatic, mean and immature. this isn't for me"

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  • No, I don't think it's necessary. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and we've never argued. We've had our disagreements, yes, but we haven't argued. It rarely happens but there are times where one of us gets on the others nerves, but we either both brush it off in a few minutes or talk it out. Works every time.

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  • No I don't think its necessary, you might get into to disagreements and have to talk through them but you don't necessarily need to have an argument to solve them. And if you get into major ones often then that might be a problem with your relationship.

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  • I think you need tension in a relationship. I've been in a relationship with no arguing and it didn't work. You want to be able to discuss things and not agree all the time.

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  • i want to avoid arguments. i wish it didn't happen. i don't think it is a good thing for relationships.

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