Should I keep seeing this new guy or go back to my ex? I need everyone's opinion please!!!

I've been dating a new guy for a few weeks I've known him about two years he's really nice and sweet and funny. He's pretty much everything I could ask for in a boyfriend. Things are good so far but it's just the beginning.

My ex boyfriend of 6 years has been talking to me trying to get me to break up with the new guy. Things were good but he changed near the end. He swears he can treat me right like he used to and wants me forever. I think he'll stop talking to me if I don't end things with the new guy today.

I'm confused with my feelings. I like both of them but obviously have way more history with my ex. I think I may just be in some fantasy world with my ex because we were high school sweethearts and that would be cool to last forever but I know that's not realistic. I also don't trust my ex the same. I don't want to lose him forever but I don't want to ruin things with the new guy because he's really done nothing wrong.

I know I need to make a decision because this situation isn't fair to either of them. PLEASE any advise will be greatly appreciated!!! Tell me if you have questions about it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't go back to your ex. Your ex is probably just jealous of this new guy for egoistic reasons. He doesn't want you back because he loves you, he wants you to end it with this new guy, he wants you to prove that you still like him more than any other guy. He wants you to stroke his ego, nothing more. Also, trust is a huge thing in relationships. If you don't trust your ex fully, you simply shouldn't be with him. Period.
    You need a fresh start. The new guy sounds better. Go with him. Your ex had his chance, but he didn't take it. I think that says a lot about him.

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    • Thank you those are all good points!! It's just a weird transition

    • I know. Blocking your ex might help, as well as taking it slow with the new guy.

What Guys Said 3

  • You didn't mention why you broke up with the ex. REALLY important.

    I hear people People will say 'you broke up so you don't belong together' or something along the lines of 'it's easier to start new'. But I believe that is really one way thinking.

    There will be problems and breakups in most long term relationships. Learning how to handle/resolve them is something everyone must learn if you want to be able to really settle down with someone for the rest of your life.

    You stayed with your ex for 6 years, that means you were really compatible.

    So look at if the reasons you broke up and if they are fixable or not before moving on like that is what I say.
    This guy you've only been seeing for two weeks as a bf, he is in no way comparable to the ex if you ask me. So I'd say the person you have invested so much love and time in is worth more.
    But if it can't be fixed then you should move forward...

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    • Thank you for the detailed reply! We broke up because we were kind of in a rut together. We got lazy and out of shape and lost our career/life path. Too comfortable together. We talked about fixing ourselves and seeing if it could work later when we are on track but it hasn't been that long so I feel like neither of us are close to those goals. I feel like that could be fixed.

      However while we still lived together BUT were broken up he messed around with a girl once (not sex) and super regretted it. Then he continued to talk to other girls nothing really happened that I know of. So I kind of have trust issues with that. The new guy is the first one I have moved onto so I don't know if he's just freaking out bc he never thought I would move on. And I still have this stupid fairy tale vision that it could all work and be perfect. I don't know.

    • That actually sounds really familiair to me.

      After my first relationship broke down I've since dated around and noone can really compare.
      We too lived together and I was in a bit of a depression. So she seeked attention elsewhere after which I ended it.
      I really wish I could talk to her again someday.

      Talking/finding attention with the other gender after a breakup is a really natural reaction if you ask me. Because you want to feel 'wanted' again. And a lot of the times people get the advice to 'move on' because it will reattract the ex.

      Technically you were broken up, so although it FEELS asif he did something wrong. You were both allowed to date others.
      And not comparable to being cheated on whilst in a monogomous relationship.

      I also had this fairy tale vision about being with a single girl for the rest of my life and her loving ONLY me for the rest of her life.
      But after a long relationship like that breaks down it's really hard to keep believing it.

    • Very true! It's so hard to tell when it's really over forever or when it's worth it to keep trying

  • the thing about ex's i feel is that when you think of going back with your ex, all you think about is all the good times but when your back with them your like "oh yeah.." I say continue on with this new guy

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    • Riiiiiight!!! I wish it was like the good old days but I know it's not the same :/

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    • No need to argue everyone helped

    • haha I can see where you are coming from thatguy, lol its okay some people can't mind their own :)

  • its simple , your ex heard you were going out with someone else , it drove him nuts so he is trying to get you back. and if he does he will treat you like shit again. i have seen this happen many times

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    • That's something I thought about too

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    • Thank you for the input!

    • you are welcome. now enjoy your life with your new bf and forget about your ex

What Girls Said 3

  • honestly, you need to go with your heart. where does your heart lie?
    why can't you trust your ex? I don't know sometimes a guy needs space and needs to lose the girl and then realize he loves her and doesn't want to lose her. Honestly, I would tell him (your ex) that he needs to prove it. Tell him that you still love him (if you do), but you are scared and you aren't going to break it off with this guy unless your ex can prove that he has changed and will treat you better.

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    • That's kind of where I am right now. I can't decide what my heart says I like them both and obviously I can't have as strong feelings for the new guy because we haven't been through what the ex and I went through over the years. I told my ex to prove it before I leave the new guy but he doesn't want me to be with him at all so he's trying to force me to break it off with the new guy. I almost think I shouldn't be with anyone right now because I can't decide!! I feel like bringing it up with the new guy to let him know where I'm at in my head and see how he reacts or what he says. I have to do something soon because I don't think it's fair. Thank you for your advice!

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    • :) of course :) message me anytime! x

    • Thank you :)

  • Follow your gut. Why would you get back with a guy who I'm assuming broke up with you or who did something to cause you to not be able to trust him again? Also, think to yourself if its an ego boost for him to want you this bad just because a new guy is in the picture. Also if he DID initiate the breakup, or cause the breakup, he is in no place to pressure you about who you decide to date. You know further details of the story, so be smart.

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    • Thank you for answering!! He did initiate the break up and that wasn't the first time either.

    • Okay. So if you get back with him, I guarantee he will do it again since he already has an established pattern. There is no need to go back to him unless you want a repeat. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Dont let happen.

    • That's what I'm afraid of!

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