Guys, how do you feel about dating a single mum with kids? Does the child thing put you off?

Let's say your a 35 year old man who is well off in career, financially etc. You were engaged once before and it ended so now you're doing the dating thing.

You're seeing this woman but you're not in a relationship. She's in her 30's and has a son herself to another man. You have other women interested in you wherever you go. How do you feel about being with someone who has a child? If you're non-committal, is it an issue for you? Or at that stage in life if you feel you've missed the marriage and family peak because you were pursuing career, is it then something you want regardless?

Does the thought of someone elses child turn you off? Now you don't love this person and you aren't in a relationship. You are just "seeing" them. Does it cross your mind?

How many would be trying to avoid this situation for fear of it becoming more than it is?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am going to answer this question because I have been in two serious relationships with guys who had kids. It is much tougher then one thinks. you have to remember that the kids come first and that they always will. Many of your dates may get canceled because the kids are sick, or the father can't watch them because he has to work late. Also it is tricky because they aren't your kids so you can't punish them in the same way you could punish your own kids. You have to set limits and bounderies and be very clear and up front about what you will and won't put up with. I found out that I enjoyed spending time with my ex boyfriends children and that when the relationship was over it was like loosing step children. That all depends on the relationship you build the kids. I am not sure I would want to go through it again, but at my age (37) it would be almost impossible to date someone who doesn't have kids. If you find someone you feel you connect with I say its worth trying, but do keep in mind you will not be their first priority.

    • I understand what you are saying and completely agree. My friend is in his mid thirties and I know it's hard at that age to find someone who isn't a package deal. Thing is he still has women in their twenties who he "sees" as well. Because he isn't in a relationship he's quite free to do what he wants. I'm pretty sure the lady with the child thinks they are in a relationship. I don't know if this is stereotypical for me to think this but I kinda thought a man would be running for the hills by that point. If you chose work over family and marriage and you're still not ready to settle down, then why would you become involved with a situation that basically requires you too? I'm trying to be supportive of my friend although I really don't understand his actions.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Well I doubt I'd ever be in a relationship with a woman who already has a child. I don't plan to marry or have kids myself, so I don't think I'd want to look after a kid that isn't mine either.

  • Yes I would, hopefully I would bring something positive to the kids lives. Too many people don't realise no matter what went on before, it is not the kids fault, they still deserve the best life has to offer them !

    • I totally agree. I'm just wanting to know what people's opinions are regarding kids. They aren't a problem so to speak but it's a huge responsibility, isn't that something you'd only get involved with if you were ready to settle down?

    • There has to be a point before you decide she is a settler where you become an uncle to the kids. The guy has to respect the fragileness of the situ and treat it with respect x

  • I'm not ready for kids so yea it kinda would, sorry.

    • No need to say sorry to me. This is a friend of mines situation and I personally believe that the kids would be an issue, but I'm not a 35 year old man and I don't know what men want so yeh. He could have much younger women and he has done, I'm just curious as to why he is happy just "seeing" this woman and getting involved with her children if he has no intentions of being in a relationship. Seems a little harsh, but he keeps mentioning that he missed the time when everyone else was doing it. He is saying one thing but doing another. It's rather confusing.

What Girls Said 1

  • it depends on the man himself...every man is different from each other