I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and I love him a lot. Love his flaws, am happy to put him before anyone else, and will constantly go out of my way to make him happy in any way. But he doesn't do the same. He loves me and is happy to be with me but I just feel a void. For example:
-While I constantly send him random 'i love you' or 'i miss you texts' (he leaves on vacation a lot), never get that from him.
-I buy him and make him lots of small gifts, like last week when he left on vacation I made him a scrapbook of many of our memories to look at on the plane. Not even a thanks, I snuck it in his suitcase as a surprise and he didn't even mention it. Only when I asked if he liked it did he finally mention it and say 'yeah, that was cool'. Took me 8 hours to make.
-When he comes back after being away 3 days I tell him I'm so glad he's back because I missed him every day. His response: 'wow, over-attached girlfriend'.
-He doesn't pay me for as I insist that he doesn't on dates. Partly is because again, I'm trying hard to make him happy and never experience negatives in this relationship. Yet when I pay for something big and kindly later remind him that he owes me half the price, he complains that I think too much about money.
Just a few examples. I'd do anything for him but he wouldn't do the same - or well, not without me asking him to. Is that just something I should live with in the relationship, knowing he loves me anyways?
Most Helpful Guy
No offense, but you do sound overly attached, not that he's handling it in the right way. I'd highly recommend turning it down a notch.
Lay off the random texts a little bit. They are great when you get them once a month, or when you are totally not expecting it. When the other person is expecting it, is when you are clearly doing it way too much.
Gifts are great, on like birthdays, and Christmas, and other such occassions. Random gifts, especially frequent ones, just feel a little awkward. A gift should remind you of something, or be for a certain occasion, like maybe you guys had a huge fight and wanted to make up. That's a situation for a gift. Choose your times better, the gifts matter more when you do.
3 Days is honestly nothing. 3 months, or even 3 weeks I'd understand, and the person will appreciate you missing them. 3 days feels like just yesterday practically. It's honestly more suffocating than it is welcoming.
Okay the money thing is lame. If he is complaining you think too much about money when you want half the money for paying for something, he is being a dick, straight out. You need to get up the confidence to tell him that as well, just... maybe not with those words. Tell him if this is something you are buying together, he needs to give half the money, and you don't want to hear about his excuses, because that's what that is.
Big problem here, NEVER expect no negatives in the relationship, that's insane. You are going to have arguments, disagreements, problems, this is part of LIFE hunny. The important thing is that your relationship comes above the problems, not that they don't exist. Expecting them to never arise is just being ignorant, don't do that, because then the problems will hit you way harder when they do in fact come.0