And I do mean virgin, as in I have zero experience, no sex, no touching, no kissing, and I have never had a date with anyone. At 20 I have never done anything with a girl not even holding hands! (god I feel like a loser)
I have had a hard childhood and when my hardships were over I was 15 and had a job helped pay bills and dealt with the drama of my mother. In other words I have always taken care of my family and I put that above everything else.
In the past few years I have been more devoted to myself and less involved with my family. But when I think about asking a girl out or if a girl shows interest in me, I start to think about my total lack of experience with girls and I get scared, think about what she will think, worry that I will look like a loser for making it to my age without any experience, etc.
And please be honest, maybe give me a few tips on how to tell a girl, if at all, this news. Like if your were dating a guy like me would you like him to tell you upfront or rather get to know him better? would delaying telling you be a bad idea?
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, you aren't a loser, and probably not as unusual as you think you are! Now...
I wouldn't announce it on a first date. You might want to take things slowly, maybe even start a relationship with someone you already know and are comfortable with. Take it one step at a time. (Don't feel like you have to go from holding hands to sex over the course of 3 dates!) Start with one thing and let yourself get comfortable with it before doing something else. There is NO RUSH! A lot of girls will be fine with going slowly. Just make sure you let her know if you like her so she doesn't take it personally. Honestly, a LOT of girls prefer going slowly. As you get to know her better, in a comfortable moment when you are already confiding in each other, try saying something like, "You know, I haven't dated much before. This is all pretty new to me." I wouldn't go into what you have or haven't done unless she asks you. If she does, be honest. I don't think it will be a big deal. It definitely won't if she's inexperienced too. In my opinion "technique" really isn't as big a deal as just being sensitive to her responses (whatever you are doing). Go slowly and gently and it will likely turn out fine. (You tend to fumble more if you are rushing, I think. Imagine going in slow motion, whether it is holding hands or kissing or whatever. It isn't as hard as you think and it will come naturally in no time. Don't worry about it, really. Just be sure that whatever steps you take it's with a girl you know and like (not some random girl for the sake of experience. That will only traumatize you!) It will be best if you find a really nice girl, maybe one who's a little shy herself. Relax and go easy on yourself. Think "sweet, gentle, romantic" as your goal as opposed to "hot super-stud Casanova." (To get your anxiety down.) You don't have to be someone you're not. Good luck to you...0