How should I stop dating a guy?

Hey guys, I'm just going to apologize in advance for this long story. I went on two dates with a guy a few months ago, and we got along really well. He left a Valentine's day gift and card on my car, and was messaging me on Facebook all the time. I decided to give him a thank you card for my valentine, and somewhere in the note I wrote "You are such an awesome friend." I had no idea that you shouldn't say that to a guy you're dating. Anyway, he stopped talking to me, and I assumed he had lost interest. A few weeks ago his friend told me that the card had hurt his feelings. I texted him to clear up the misunderstanding, and we have been on two dates since. Unfortunately, I found out that he smokes, drinks, and curses every other word. All three of these things are a MAJOR turn off for me, and I really don't think this relationship could ever work out. He is a really kind and friendly guy, and it would kill me to hurt his feelings again. Especially since I just told him that I am still interested in dating him. We are not officially dating or anything, so how should I go about "breaking up" with him? I really want to still be friends with him, I just don't want to waste my time on a romantic relationship. Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly, honesty is your best friend here. The fact that you wrote "friend" night have been a blessing in disguise. Right off the bat that showed you that instead of talking things out when he is bothered by something, he is more inclined to disappear and communication is key in any relationship. I would say talk to him and see if he'll change but ultimately you want someone who will change for the better for himself and not you. Because away from you he'll still do the same things, will hide it from
    You and that will be a whole new can of worms. Tell him the truth and it will set you free. Sugar coat it and lie and it will never be truly resolved. (:

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he got hurt when you said he was a good friend, how do you think he'll feel when you say that you just want to be friends? Obviously unless you start to handle a little roughness or get him to change, it's over. You guys won't be friends if you break up, especially if you don't like the way he is.

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  • just leave him another one of those thank you cards. either that or you could tell him his smoking cursing and constant drinking bother you too much. on the other hand you seem like a high maintance girl who would be doing him a favor by dumping him

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What Girls Said 1

  • me thinks that writing a guy off just because he 'smokes, drinks and curses', even when for all the rest he's a perfectly nice bloke, well.. it's shallow. like it's shallow using expressions like 'waste of time' regarding human relationships.

    anyways, you should have left it at the 'friend' lapsus in the Valentine's card probably, like someone already suggested. besides, why did you tell him you still want do date him? you keep saying it's not 'official' dating.. and what is it then? like PrinceSoren said, at this point just be honest and tell him 'you're not my type, sorry, i messed it up'. do not expect him staying friends with you, though.

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