Guys, would you see a woman as desperate/slutty if she came up to you and asked you out on a date?

How would you perceive her? Slutty/desperate or courageous?

  • Yes, I would see her as desperate/slutty.
    Vote A
  • No, I would respect her for gathering the courage to ask.
    Vote B
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
This question is a social experiment, female answers are certainly appreciated but male answers are VITAL to finally debunking this myth.

This question WILL be linked to a future question. The more male answers we get, the stronger the argument.

0|0
14|49

Most Helpful Girl

  • i asked a guy out and he ignored me didn't even reply, he saw me in person too at work and still ignored me, acting like nothing happened, in fact he was on his phone in front of me texting others

    never doing that again. he was a douche.

    only reason i asked him out cause i thought he was asking me, he asked me if i had any plans the day before, but because he was always so hot and cold i didn't know if he was interested, for some reason i was thinking he friend zoned me he would call me bro and dude...and when he asked me if i had any plans i just thought it was a literal thing and i was like oh just hanging out with friends...gonna see a movie. and he seemed quiet and ignored me. so i was confused didn't know if he liked me or not so i asked him out next day he fucking ignored it and me, and i texted again, ignored me again. he even said hi in person like nothing was wrong and we were still chill...and i thought it was the most narcissistic creepy thing ever. i never talked or saw him again. good riddance.

    lesson learned- never asking a guy out again.

    2|0
    1|0
    • i dont know why these freak situations always happen to me. i always meet the bad guys, and bad things always happen to me.

    • Show All
    • I agree with Azara on this one. men deal with rejections all the time just because one woman says no or ignores us doesn't mean we stop asking, sure it's depressing but if every man threw in the towel due to rejections we wouldn't have the human population problem we do today.

      I personally don't think of girls who ask a guy out as "easy" I think of them as brave because I understand the courage it takes to ask someone out. maybe you had a bad experense because this one guy was so "hot and cold" just remember not all men are the same person.

    • Noted. The last time I made the first move, I ended up doing all the work.

Have an opinion?

0/2500

Send It!
Sponsored

What Girls Said 13

  • My experience is that guys dont mind and actually like it when you ask them out but in the end the guy that ends up appreciating the girl and wanting a relationship is the one that chased the girl. There are exceptions to the rule but in the end we are mammals and we have basic courting instincts like other animals. In humans... sorry to break it for the guys... chicks choose who to have sex with men choose who to have a relationship with.

    0|2
    0|0
    • You are exactly right.

    • I agree. There is a basic courting instinct where the male does the pursuing and the female does the choosing. That's the point I was making in my answer, if a girl asked me out I would lose interest.

  • I did not vote so as not to throw it off since I am female. But I am 'older' and I will give my female opinion. I think it is great that the younger generation is now asking their male partners out. I admire their courage and balls to do it. I come from a generation where the men made the first moves: ask out first, call first, etc. I have never asked a man out and have no clue how to do it and quite frankly no guts since I have never had to do it, the risk of rejection petrifies me. So kudos to the women who have the gonads to do it !! Wish I knew how (;

    2|0
    0|0
  • There are a lot of other components you have to take into consideration. Theoretically, the answer is no, but then you've to consider the type of guy and the type of girl, age, society, circumstances, words used, the purpose of going on a date, etc., etc.

    It's not a black and white question. You can create the strongest argument ever, I still have experience to go by.

    2|0
    1|0
    • Well, I'll put it this way.

      Even if you WERE thought of as slutty...why would you let it stop you?

    • Show All
    • its a poll not an argument. whatever you experience with a few guys, won't change other answers from other live human beings. different people have different opinions.

      What i dont get is if a guy thinks you're desperate or slutty for doing a totally normal thing, why would you want them. not why wold you mid being thought of that way, but why would you care what guys like that think of you.

      thy should not be allowed to be part of your life, bc they dont respect you. instead your basing how you interact with other people bc of a few idiots. its as if you trust them over yourself. i dont get it.

      as far as it being crushing. its crushing for anyone. thats life. thats not bc you're a woman, so thats not a reason not to do it as a woman.

      anyhow wouldn't you rather try and have a chance than just being scared?

    • @Azara
      even though I wasn't really interested into getting into an argument, you make a good point.

      I also never said I wouldn't ask a guy out again - just that, according to my experience and to answer the poster's question (even though it's not directed at females), some men do seem to see girls as sluts if they take the initiative and that's probably a bigger percentage than what the poll results make seem.

      But you're right, that's not the kind of guy I'm looking for. And even though it may not look like, I'm a pretty gutsy girl when I like or want something.

  • you won't rove guys do not have this mentality by this poll, bc some guys really do think / act this way. and they suck. but thats reality.

    in my opinion the point is not whether they do or if they dont. the point is women should not accept it. instead many perpetuate it by catering to it.

    instead of encouraging the behavior and sense of entitlement in those guys by acting with unnatural and unnecessary trepidation lest she be called desperate, she should automatically cancel such guys off her list. having a disrespectful towards you _should_ be a deal breaker, in my opinion.

    seems obvious to me, really.

    no respect-no interest.

    0|0
    0|0
    • how fart do you really expect to get with someone who does not respect your competency.

    • Show All
    • True.

      I actually am supportive of this poll. I hadn't meant to come across as anti-poll ;p

      I just meant it is not a figment of womens imagination, or a female based conspiracy towards other females. that (some) men do in fact hold these vaues. but of course not ALL men, and likely not most. so it is good of you to take the time to put forward this poll. ;-)

    • and of course its interesting to see peoples responses.

  • Haha! Obviously not!
    Just because she is a girl she is supposed to sit at home all covered up and wait for a man to come and sweep her off her feet? Because damn she is a girl- how dare she even THINK of having courage?

    2|2
    0|0
  • I have asked guys out on dates and I've also approached guys in couples bars and asked outright for sex. I've not had a refusal yet. If the guy thinks I am a slut then (a) he obviously likes sluts and (b) he will find out I'm not a slut, I'm a highly sexed woman.

    2|1
    2|0
  • a desperate babe

    1|1
    4|2
    • Is this personal experience? Or are you just taking this from what other girls have told you?

    • Show All
    • In that case your bf only dated you because he was desperate

    • @ twelveangrymen; he didn't date me because he was desperate,, but rather because he knew me since a long time even before we dated each other

  • Hey, someone has to get the ball rolling, so if the guy doesn't why not? Don't want to miss out on an opportunity!

    0|1
    0|0
    • I like your moxxy girl <3

  • A guy shouldn't see it as slutty. What makes you slutty is what it means to be one.

    0|1
    0|0
  • there's nothing slutty about that...

    2|0
    0|0
  • No she's courageous enough to ask. You should respect her bravery :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • most guys in my experience love this

    0|0
    0|0
    • I love it, because sometimes I never knew, or thought, or I thought she had a BF. It's really nice, and I like women that can be assertive, and not just wait. . .

  • Most guys wouldn't automatically think that but I am still not asking a guy on a date. Sorry.

    2|0
    1|1

What Guys Said 49

  • Women who approach are more courageous than ones who don't. Only other women are annoyed by women who approach because they are too scared to do it themselves.

    3|4
    0|0
  • Call me old fashioned but I liked asking girls out. I think it's still the guys job to do this and when a girl asked me out then I seemed to lose interest quickly. I put no effort into getting her and spent little effort into keeping her. It's just the way I thought.

    But when I had to summon the courage, put myself on the line then I had something invested in the relationship and wanted it to last. I continued putting effort in.

    But, it's not 1950 any longer if a girl wants to ask a guy out, and the guy doesn't mind, well good on both of them. So I don't see her as slutty or desperate, that's just silly these days.

    2|0
    1|0
  • Funny how only women are voting the slutty option. I'll say it yet again - women are more critical towards other women than men are.

    2|5
    1|0
    • Girls who don't approach guys are unconsciously (or not!) doing mind games at this poll. They depreciate the image of girls who approach guys, so they can nullify the advantage of her competitors in the "running". Woman never sees other woman as friend, but as a competitor.

    • I never thought of it like that, I think you might be right.

    • Look now what some girls who commented against this type of girl is responding after my comment. Look too how the statistics of the choice "No" is now balanced between male and female voting. This change in the poll have not changed that much by chance.

  • I would LOVE it if a woman came up to me and asked me out. I would prefer if she tried talking to me too, but if she was rushed or looking really nervous, then I'd understand. If I thought she was cute and we had things in common I would give her my contact info, and probably try to get hers.

    I wouldn't think she was slutty unless she was dressed in very little with a shirt that says something dirty, and I noticed her making out with three other guys before talking to me. Otherwise, if she just simply asked me out... no.

    That doesn't mean I'd say yes to a date, but no, I wouldn't think she was slutty for simply having the guts to ask me out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would be hoping she was a desperate slut, but would be fearing that she just thought i looked intellectually interesting.

    That's if I were single.

    In reality I'd be flattered, decline go home, not have sex, and want to drive my head through a wall.

    2|1
    1|0
  • Glad to see most people have gone past this silly stereotypical thinking..it's the 21st century, has been so for a while!

    CAn't stand girls who still want us to take all the initiative

    2|0
    0|0
  • I keep posting the same thing with this topic.
    I hate that society has the guy do everything. I want so bad to be the one that the woman comes after with the determination that I go after women. it would be nice to know that a woman has strong feelings for me as opposed to never knowing what they are really thinking.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I like when girls make their intentions known. Its not 1950, why can't THEY holler at US? I don't associate a woman going after what she wants with any type of desperation or over-aggressiveness.

    2|0
    0|0
  • That's a crazy double standard... A guy asking a girl out is "confident" but a girl asking a guy out is "desperate"?

    Yeah, makes no sense to me.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Yet apparently every girl says when they tried to approach they've been considered slutty.

      Now, either someone is lying, or this is actually going around (I'm speaking in general of course).

    • Is it possible the issue stems from the girl doing the asking also expecting the guy to pay? I've generally been of the opinion that if you're the one who asks, you're the one who pays.

  • It's happened to me a couple of times. Each time I felt the lass deserved a nod of respect for having the guts.

    Remember though, ladies--flat out asking a guy to coffee is WAY better than dancing around and hinting like a bloody idiot. I've had more than a few girls do that to me as well, and each time I felt like rolling my eyes, like,

    "If you had the guts to actually suggest we get coffee, I'd give you a chance. But you're such a coward you're just hinting and dancing around it, or maybe you're just so cheap you want me to buy you the drinks? Forget it."

    1|1
    0|0
  • Had it happen before, sort of. I didn't think anything about it one way or the other. That was even a long time ago when dating and relationships were still traditional.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't use the terms "slut" and "easy". I fundamentally disagree with what they imply. People (which includes women) are free to explore their sexuality in whatever way they please without having labels attached to them for fuck's sake.

    Anyway, that aside, HOW the fuck. No really, how the fuck is a girl in any way "slutty" or even looking to have sex at all just because she asked a guy out. That makes no sense at all, do guys actually think that way? That's just sad

    3|1
    0|1
  • I'd see her as courageous. It takes tremendous courage and confidence to go for what you want while making your heart vulnerable at the same time.

    For me to see her as desperate, she'd have to be grabbing me right after "last call" at the bar because she's the only one in her group without a penis to blow on. That would put me off and I would much rather sleep alone.

    For me to see her as slutty, this needs no explanation really.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Courageous I guess. Takes a lot of courage to go against the social norm.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Hell no. I'd be happy that I finally found a woman who knows what she wants and I'm lucky enough that it's me.

    1|2
    0|1
  • Of course, don't approach him with the attitude of "selling your meat". Otherwise you will obviously look slutty.
    But if a kind girl would ask me out, especially one that I knew from work, school, hobby,... I would certainly make time for a nice chat.
    And would be happy because I'm a rather shy person so it would help me :-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • As my girl said, if you want something you better damn well have to fight for it.

    A girl who likes me and keeps quiet - I will know nothing of her and thus I will have no opinion of her. So too bad for her.

    But a girl who is assertive and forward - now I like that. Someone who knows what she wants and goes to get it. Why would she be slutty? If I want a girl and I ask her out, am I horny? If I want a job and I go all out for the interview, am I desperate or sly?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Been asked probably a thousand times here, shouldn't be a myth by this point. Would respect the hell out of any girl who did this, if they look average I would say yes at least and see where it goes.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I asked a girl I knew (and liked) out for a show. A few weeks later she asked me to be her companion on a trip to Paris. When we came back home we started dating.

    0|0
    0|0
    • A girlfriend asked me to come swimming with her. Her move was too obvious, I turned it down without expanation "no I'm not interested (or free )". Years later again,: she proposed me to visit her apartment to see (and use the new electronic scales she had. That time I laughed her proposition away. She was butthurt. End of story, end of girlfriend.

  • No, not if she sounded rational and sane. I would be flattered. And the fact that she had the courage to do so would definitely be a point in her favor.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Any girl that's down to make the first move has my respect.

    3|1
    0|0
  • Nope, not at all.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I would really admire and respect her for gathering the courage and of course I would have to be physically attracted to her. But I would say yes.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't think she would be slutty at all. I would be pretty excited if a girl asked me out since it is always the other way around.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it would be more of a boost to my now over the top confidence

    1|1
    0|0
  • I think this one has been thoroughly debunked.

    1|1
    0|0
  • No, we live in 2014, everything is supposed to be equal now...

    0|0
    0|0
  • i'd be turned off though but she's gotta be hot, women like that are taking on the men role which is weird.

    1|0
    1|0
  • nothing at all slutty about that - it's quite refreshing to see her make the first move. If I were to find out she choose a man to be her gynecologist... now that's slutty!

    1|0
    2|0
  • I would only consider it slutty if it was a sexual approach.
    If she approached normally and asked me out or something, I wouldn't mind nor would I look down on her for doing so.

    1|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    19
Loading...