How do you even know if you're attractive?

I'm 21 and I've only had one serious relationship a few years ago that ended pretty badly, with me finding out I had been cheated on. I've been on a few 'dates' before and since then but generally I think they weren't interested in a relationship, they just wanted to get in my pants.

I've had people say that I'm pretty or that I have nice eyes, but those comments are usually from women. I really never hear anything positive from men, plus I'm shy so it's hard to put myself out there anyway. Generally guys never approach me. There have been times recently when I thought someone was interested in me, but he never made a move to ask me out, so I'd just as soon assume I interpreted it wrong.

So am I just to assume that I'm ugly and undesirable? If I was even attractive at all I'd think that men would be approaching me more.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lots of folks here will post a link to a picture and get a fairly honest appraisal. Don't trust any one opinion though, because some people can be mean.

    When you say "attractive" I think you're using it to describe physical traits.

    There's a hell of a lot more to attractiveness than just that. Sure guys can be shallow visually oriented horn dogs, but that's not all we are. I need to know a lot more about a girl than what she looks like before I know if I'm attracted to her. There are lots of physically pretty girls that I want nothing to do with.

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    • For some reason I'm worried I might be recognized, haha.
      But that's good to hear that it's not all about looks all the time, but it's so much of the first impression.

What Guys Said 5

  • There is no short/simple answer. Basically you don't. You can be super attractive to some but look like a dog to others. And attractiveness itself is too subjective to answer as well. Its partly your looks, personality, chemistry with whomever is assessing your attractiveness, your IQ and how the other person perceives it... Its confusing and if you try to find a definitive answer, you will go crazy. And crazy is not attractive haha

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  • I honostly think most guys agree with me when I say WE GENERALLY DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THE PANTS OF AN UNATTRACTIVE WOMAN ;)

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  • Rate me Qs on here.

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  • Because of our ego, we would not go out with an "ugly" girl,

    now, i don't like talking about people, cause i think we are all equals.

    you will find your true love at some point, you are young darling, don't worry about that

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  • As long as you are you, you're attractive to somebody. The number and to what extent, well that's impossible to know really. Different societies value different things, and people within society each have their own individual preference.

    At the end of the day though, no matter who you are or what you look like, there's somebody out there that would find that attractive. There's somebody of the opposite sex out there who is a lot like you just wondering where somebody like you is at, probably asking the same question about themselves that you are. The worst case scenario is that you let society convince you you're not attractive and become too afraid to ever reach out to that other person and take a chance. You both miss out.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Start asking attractive guys out and see how that goes for you.

    Not all men like approaching women. They're shy, intimidated, not interested etc,.. A lot comes into play.

    Usually, you know when you have more options.

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  • try the golden ratio- rule of thirds beauty test :)

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