How do I stop being so one-sided in relationships?

Any advice/ tips on how I can become less one-sided towards the men I date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume you lack empathy for the males you are interested in?

    Because of the trauma of my childhood I lacked extreme empathy with my fellow man.

    But by seeking God, and coming to terms with my shortcomings, I have (slowly) begun to empathize with other people. This is key to understand, appreciating, and loving your fellow man, on a mutually human level.

    Unfortunately many people go through life without this most basic of human connections to his or her fellow man.

    It'll be a struggle. But it first starts with you coming out of your shell- and forcing yourself to stop thinking about what you want all of the time. (Assuming I am right about your question, which I might not be.)

    I get disgusted with how selfish and demanding I am sometimes. Greedy, and stingy.

    But that has to stop. You must at least become aware of it to be able to combat it. It's taken me almost two decades of difficult introspection for me to begin to understand that people are like me. They are not merely hurt- machines, who will one day cause me pain. They are people. Just like me. Even if they do hurt me.

    But without this deep soul- knowledge (That many people Do take for granted) it is difficult, if not impossible to relate to your fellow man as anything but an object.

    My first bit of advice is to see the Creator who made you, and will make you right.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Explain first what this means.

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    • He said I was one-sided in that I "didn't treat him as an equal" ex: hid information. I have a lot of health problems with cancer etc and I'd hide my dr.'s appointments as "girl days" and then he'd find out and be upset, but Ireally just didn't want to be seen as weak to him

    • Show All
    • True, but it's kinda complicated.Direct message?

    • This is up to you I'm afraid; you can only reach out but you can do nothing more. So do it in the most effective way you know and then cross fingers. You may not get the opportunity to fix it even if you can. It happens.

What Girls Said 2

  • stick to your guns don't cave in

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  • Be more specific?

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    • He said I was one-sided in that I "didn't treat him as an equal" ex: hid information. I have a lot of health problems with cancer etc and I'd hide my dr.'s appointments as "girl days" and then he'd find out and be upset, but Ireally just didn't want t

    • to be seen as weak to him

    • You just need to open up more and be more honest about what is really going on in your life. If he loves you, he will stand by you though it.

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