I feek like I am a secret girlfriend. What is wrong with him?

We started dating in March and in April he asked me to be his gf... Even tho we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend now, we don't really show it in public. He told me he has something against PDA, which until then I was perfectly fine with. But then, we have a group of friends, and I am not sure whether to tell them or not, or how to act in front of them... so far we've acted like nothing is going on. My true problem came when I told him my best friend from a foreign country wanted to meet him through videochat and he completely refused! He doesn't want to meet any of them! Is he embarrassed of being with me? Super antisocial, or what? We really like each other, when we're together we find lots of things to laugh and talk about...


Most Helpful Guy

  • "He told me he has something against PDA, which until then I was perfectly fine with.", people sign the dumbest contracts and then are terribly surprised when they get what they signed up for. The man is a very private one so when you were "okidoke" with that you failed to realize that he is still going to be a private man after you swap titles.

    There's no scandalous bullshit, you're just dumb.

    • I like your harshness. And sure, he's a private guy... but why would he want to avoid meeting my friends? It's not like I want to go over there say he's my boyfriend and make out with him in front of everyone!

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    • Ok, so I shouldn't feel insecure as if he had someone else, or I am the full package girlfriend material?

    • Correct. However you should feel very concerned about how comfortable you are with the current situation then decide to leave him for someone who is infinitely more social because as it stands this anxiety will only grow regardless of GaG and fundamentally if he doesn't change within the next month, and he won't, it will start eating at you. Congratulations.


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What Guys Said 2

  • So none of his friends know you're together? Did he tell you to keep it a secret or just no PDA?

    • It is strange because while we were dating it was a secret, and now that we are official its turned into no PDA... but we still hide it from our friends, and lately he's been doing everything to avoid hanging out with them.

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    • Because he told me to do so, and I followed along like an idiot.

    • Well maybe he just doesn't want a super public thing. I hate when everyone is in my business

  • You've been dating less than two months. He's naturally not sure about the relationship and doesn't want to get anyone else involved before things get more serious. As for not wanting to show affection in public, she warned you, don't act so surprised.

    • Yeah, I see a point there...

What Girls Said 4

  • I can understand the no PDA part, but it's not normal if none of your friends know that you two are together.

    Just ask him directly and tell him that you understand he's private, but you can't hide yourselves. Tell him that it's making you feel like there's something wrong on his side, like he doesn't like you enough or is embarassed of you.

    He's probably going to reassure you nd tell you that he just doesn't want peaple to mind your business. He might be just VERY private which can be understandable since you haven't dated for long, but as time goes on he's gonna have to get over it! As I said, you can't hide yourselves! So make sure he knows.

  • I don't know. I can see the guys point of view and advice they gave you, but something screams red flag to me :/

    • I kind of feel the same way :/

    • I can't pinpoint what exactly is bothersome. You should sit down and have a heart to heart with him first before doing anything.

  • Yes, it sounds like he doesn't want anyone to know about you. Like how a guy with a girlfriend might treat a "side chick" kinda thing. Is it possible that there's another girl he's talking to? Maybe he wants to keep his options open.

    • When we were fighting about him not wanting to meet my friends he said I promise you I'm being faithful to you 100%, there is absolutely no one else in my life other than you. To what I respond, that's not even what I am asking you, I trust you... and then continued with the other situation.

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    • I don't think there's much of a chance that he's NOT up to no good. I think you should leave him:( Sorry, but that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You should date someone who can be in a real relationship with you, not some creeping in the shadows crap.

    • I understand, thanks!