Girls, how important is intelligence when dating?

Does it bother you if a guy is less intelligent than you. I always fear, with my lack of intelligence/low IQ, It's going to be next to impossible to find a woman willing to date me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone has a strength in one area and a weakness in another area. You can always improve your intelligence by reading books or attending college. As long as your intelligence does not impact how you communicate with the other person. In fact it is more important to convey how much you care for the other person than the amount of intelligence you have and as long as your lack of intelligence does not prevent you from getting a decent job to support your girlfriend if you have a long-term relationship with her and plan on having a family with her.

    However, I have heard that it becomes more difficult to retain a long-term relationship with someone if they do not have the same amount of intelligence as the other person because once the physical emotions and hormones calm down what is left to sustain the relationship is what you know and whether you have equal intelligence with to the other person. It does not have to be in the same field but it has to be equal so both parties can continue to learn and grow from each other to reignite the physical connection and what you don't know or understand can always be learned if you allow yourself the opportunity to do so.
    You may not be intelligent in one area but may have other intelligence/have skills that you can contribute to the relationship and you can always work on your shortcomings and overcome them if you put your mind to it.

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What Girls Said 25

  • Very important and yes. I want someone with whom I can both be playful and silly with but am able to have a deep intellectual conversation with.

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  • I used to think it really mattered because I'm put in the nerd category so I always figured I'd have to date someone as smart as me. But it has nothing to with actually being a good person so I no longer give a shit. I've had so many relationships based on mutual intellectual/artistic interests that were so toxic to me. Cerebral connections have nothing to do with love, devotion, sympathy, etc., and for me they were always the opposite. These guys definitely weren't attracted to me either so I get sick of men saying it's important to them too.

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  • It's important to me. Doesn't have to be a genius at an ivy league university, but just smart and can have an intelligent conversation.

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  • Very important. I don't want to be with someone stupid. They need to be able to talk to me on my level. I wouldn't be opposed to their being smarter than me, although that intimidates some people.
    I don't believe in IQ tests or other standardized tests though. It's an awful measure of intelligence. Tests reflect the biases of the testmaker. We are all individuals and should not be judged as if we are the same.

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  • Its quite important to me. I am not saying he has to be a genius. But he should be able to talk about stuff like politics...books..movies..general stuff about the world. Even little knowledge and having some perspectives about such things is enough so as long as he makes sense and is able to hold a good conversation.

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  • To me you dont need to be the smartest. But if nice if you know something just so I can see you have passion for that topic and we can engage in conversation. Since with passion for it Ill see how important it is to you and I can learn something or do something with you.

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  • A guy doesn't have to be smarter than me. He doesn't even need to have all kinds of college education either, since that doesn't necessarily mean you're smart. As long as he's not dumb as a post and can hold some kind of good, intelligent discussion with me, that's okay.

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  • Very because I get bored

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  • He as to match my intelligence or be smarter than me..If I have to explain to you what's going on in a basic artwork..then we have a problem

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  • intelligence doesn't have anything to do with your IQ people can be skilled in to many different areas its not even funny, there's something to learn from any and everybody you you probably didn't know.

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  • I don't think I could respect a man that can't keep up with me or challenge me intellectually. So I guess it is a factor, but hay different strokes for different folks.

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  • Being book smart isn't as important and being able to hold an intelligent conversation-- and by that I mean a non-superficial, deep conversation rather than meaningless flirting of chatter.

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  • Its important but you dont have to be a genius just not a really big dumbass

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  • Every individual has a different sets of intelligence we just gotta find that out within us. Yeah its a plus points having it. But you can be intelligent too by means of sharing life experiences that have taught you something. And seriously, some girls prefer to be more intelligent than guys that they feel proud of themselves and appreciated if a guy notices how smart she is rather than get intimidated.

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  • It matters and I like it when a guy is smarter than I am.

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  • Normal intelligence is fine with me, I don't think i'll like someone who is like autistic - intelligent. They won't be able to read me emotionally.

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    • What about someone with normal intelligence, but suffer from dyscalculia.

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    • I do try, but it's hard when your not working due to muscle problems. Women always turn me down the view me as too dumb or too lazy.

    • I got a friend who is physically bedridden but she still made something of herself to support her family.

  • Intelligence is a turn on for me. However, when I say this, I don't mean he needs to be a doctor or anything. I just like someone that I can have a conversation with.

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  • Pretty important it depends on the girl

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  • Very! I think you conect better with your partner.

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  • if your not smart, act smart around her.

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  • As long as you use common sense its okay, you don't have to be the smartest person ever.

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  • It depends if it's a lack of intelligence or common sense. Wouldn't care if you don't know einsteins theory of relativity, but you've got to have some common sense.

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  • No, I don't really judge a guy based on intelligence. I mean if you're completely illiterate than I probably wouldn't date you but there's always excepts.

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  • If you can't hold an intelligent discussion with me then yeah, that would be a big problem

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  • Intelligence is a turn on for me, but I dont just rate book/school intelligence. Having life intelligence is normally somewhat better. If he can hold a conversation or at least willing to learn I'm all good.

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What Guys Said 2

  • What is your IQ score?

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  • Women dont look for intelligence in men, as long as he's not a complete moron he's good to go

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