What do I do? Do I love him? I'm so confused?

So I started talking to this boy about two years ago, we were "talking" for about 5 months give and take. While we were still talking, he had been seeing his ex girlfriend still and even his ex girlfriend talked to me a lot (trying to talk me out of talking to him or just making remarks which would make him look like the bad guy). I confronted him about seeing his ex and he didn't lie (which I guess was a good thing?) but obviously me confronting him and making it obvious that I didn't like it, didn't really change anything so I didn't even try to fight it or anything. But one of the things that bothered me the most was when I would ask him if he likes me and he would say he doesn't know. Now I know better that some things are just better felt than said but like I didn't think he did since he was still talking to his ex? Anyways, we stopped talking seriously but then kind of became friends. Now he's had a girlfriend for over a year and I still haven't been able to get over him. I have talked to other guys and even hooked up with them, but nothing has helped. If anything, my feelings may have grown stronger over the course of time? He said it was two years of a hot and cold relationship, I don't know if he meant that as friends or more than that? I don't know if I love him or not but I do know I can't ever stop thinking about him. Despite the imperfections I know about him, I can't help but want him and care about him. I do want what's best for him, always, and if that's staying with his current girlfriend then that's ok (although he said he doesn't know how he feels about her anymore- drunken talk we had). I'm not sure how to move past, like it's been two years and I thought him getting into a relationship would help but clearly it hasn't. Why is it so hard? Can I actually love him? That's just a word I don't like to throw around but at this point I don't know what this is. Any advice or input would be appreciate

Updates:
Also, when I spoke to him about the hot and cold thing. I did tell him that well things went cold a long time ago since he got a girlfriend and then he said its up
To you to make it hot again. What does that even mean?

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's just not that into you. Move on. It won't be that hard to move on, once you make up your mind.

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