My family wants me to meet a guy before I date them and I am 27, How do I get a guy my age to do that?

I have a dilemma on my hands, my family that I live with want me to bring a man over before I start dating them or if they want to take me out. I guess they want to see if he is a crazy person or not. The problem is that most men my age are intimidated to meet my family and usually want to stay in the car and don't want to get out of the car. Then I can't go anywhere because my family doesn't trust the guy but he's probably is just shy and doesn't want to have drama. I am 27 and i have never had a boyfriend because of this. How do I get the guy to understand that I need him to do this, also does this make me sound immature to men? I really need to know because I would like a boyfriend sometime in my life before I am 30.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No offense do you have a learning disability
    i know how you feel cause that could be it
    maybe it's your religion culture too i don't know
    yes kind of awkward for your age but don't sweat it

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    • I do have learning disability and sometimes I am too nice to people and want them to like me

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    • Thank you hope things work for you.:)

    • your welcome

What Guys Said 6

  • I would try talking to your family about this. Their behaviour would be reasonable if you were a child but assuming you're a fully functioning adult they are being overprotective. At your age it would be normal for them to meet him only if you become a couple. A date is more like an interview at your age.

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    • You know I have told them how men are now but they won't listen to me.

  • Are you not in America or extremely religious or something? That's the strangest thing I've ever heard. Good grief, you're not in high school any more.

    Just go out on dates with them without your family knowing. The normal procedure is to date them for a while, THEN introduce them to your family.

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    • or move out :D

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    • Your family sounds really controlling. Like AndyWes said, they aren't intimidated, they're puzzled.

    • yeah I have told them this they don't listen and they worry too much.

  • I actually think that is a good idea that is what a mature person should do you should invite him to meet your parents on the other hand I can see why you wouldn't wan't to do that cause if the relationship isn't serious your parents might think that guys are bad for you and you don't wan't to show him to your parent cause you wan't to protect your parents just in case he is crazy. But your parents want to know about him just in case he tries to hurt you. And no that doesn't make you in mature for inviting your bf to your parents.

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    • wow hmmm ok… I guess some guys would and some would't it depends on there background I guess

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    • You never know until you ask your bf and the end of the day it is up to him.

    • yeah thats true

  • After meeting a guy and exchanging each others information, why not simply invite them over to yours for an appetizer or entrĂ©e prior to a date or the scheduling of a date?

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    • that sounds like a good idea or to a party we like to throw partys a lot for birthdays and things. I did try that one but my family was kind of mean and he left.

    • Well, your family seems unreasonable then. Guys don't want to interrogated by a woman's family on the first date with her. Sure, we don't mind a few questions here or there from her friends or family in a friendly, comfortable atmosphere. But that's about it. We are coming solely for the woman, not to impress her family. Period. Your family needs to realize that they are sabotaging your happiness and compromise.

    • I am working on get my stuff together before I am 30. I have a job, I go to therapy and I am working on getting a car.

  • If your family is going to rule all of your relationships, then just give up now. They are YOUR relationships. You are the one who's supposed to be choosing and deciding on men, not them. If you can't handle then, then you are screwed. You need to put your foot down with your family.

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  • Most men your age aren't intimidated. they're puzzled and saying, "This girl is 27, why the fuck would I go meet her parents before going on a date? This isn't high school, or an amish courtship. Sorry sweety, I'm going to find a normal girl."

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    • I could alway move out

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    • I am to nice to people because I want them to like me or love me. I have self-esteem issues and I am gullible. I also talk about my family also. I need to get out also and meet people, I work at a grocery store and there are a lot of men that like me and want to ask me out but my family is the issues so I need to do something about it before I am 30.

    • I also have a learning disability and people take advantage

What Girls Said 1

  • YES, that is seriously immature, and an issue to be resolved. you're 27, you should make your parents understand that you're old enough to choose the people you want to hang out with on your own, be it friends or lovers or whatever. if your parents do not understand, please talk about this with your therapist, maybe he'll be able to explain it to them better. definitely having to force a poor guy to meet your family even BEFORE your first date, is a nice way to pave your future with loneliness, because no normal guy would agree to do that. please take your life and your decisions back into your hands. therapy is very important for you in this moment. maybe forget about guys for a bit until you've gained some more self-confidence. and do not listen to people saying you're 'past your prime' because there's no 'prime', there is only a life to be lived and it's happening NOW. guys and romantic relationship can wait, what's more important is for you to become a self-sufficient, assertive, confident woman. and you're getting there, just be patient.

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    • thank you I like that. I am trying to get a car so I can do more things without telling them. I know this, everyone that isn't my family is telling me this.

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