How do I not invest so much in to trying to find someone to live the rest of my life with in marriage? I am a man.?

I have dated for over 20 years. I was married for a short time but that ended in divorce. When I date, I try to get to know that person and show that person myself. I invest time, effort, emotion and money into it. I have been in several relationships. I am getting tired of investing so much when it only ends with break up, pain and then I have to start over again. I invest too much of my time. I invest too much of my effort. I invest too much of my emotion. I invest too much of my money. I invest too much for it to keep ending in break up. And I am getting tired of it. I am trying to find someone I can sacrifice myself to and someone who will sacrifice themselves to me. How do I not invest so much in to trying to find someone to live the rest of my life with in marriage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe you're investing too much? You're trying too hard?
    If you're doing too much you'll come across as desperate and or clingy.

    If you are investing in McDonalds. Go all in. You will get return on your buck.

    In the dating world Your partner has to invest too.
    50/50
    Would you invest in a business with someone. Where you put in 90% they put in 10% of the money. But split the profits 50/50?

    Slow down.

    Just from your writing I get a impression that when you start dating someone. You don't go in with the attitude of 'I'm meeting a new person. I'll have a good time tonight. Maybe we can see each other again.' I get the impression you date to find a wife. Period.
    Chances of that working are slim. And the odd time it does work. It's not too likely to last.

    Slow down. Take your time. Relax. Have fun dating and meeting people. The right one will come along.

    If you really have to be married. Google "Mail Order Brides". the investment will likely be a lot less than what it currently is.

    Good Luck

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What Girls Said 3

  • its hard if you are a naturally generous person. Maybe, try to take things slow

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  • Date me? :)

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  • Sorry to hear your troubles. Maybe try to just collect all your thoughts and talk to a really good friend or go out with them. Try getting things out and off your mind. Hope things get better for you:)

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    • Thanks for the reply.

What Guys Said 2

  • "I am trying to find someone I can sacrifice myself to"

    You're looking for a goddess then?

    Get over it.

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    • Sacrifice means to sacrifice thinking about yourself and replace it with thinking about that person. And if that person does the same, then they will think about you more then themselves.

  • Have you considered a foreign dating site? They aren't much different from meeting a woman anywhere else online, except it is a little harder to bring them into your country. These women are taught to be giving to men, just like western men are taught to be giving to women, so the marriages actually do very well. They actually have a lower divorce rate than traditional marriages.

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    • No but thanks for the reply

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