How to stop being so boring on dates?

Yesterday went on a date with a girl who was on the phone a lot of the time. It is not the first tine we have gone out. She did it the first tine as well. I have never really experienced this, I have thought that I was boring. Since there was one girl prior to this that kept her hands folded. I just haven't figured out how to be more interesting. I have traveled to different countries. I just can't seem to come across as interesting, and when it comes to dancing I tense up. I don't want to embarrass myself, and known as the one who can't dance on top of being boring (probably out there already).

Updates:
Well we went to lime which is a Mexican grill at an outdoor place. I asked about her life like school, plans for the future, what she does during her free time. Walked around a bit and I tried to find other things to talk about. Listened to live
Music and tried to dance with her but she shied away and I just tapped my foot since I never know what the heck to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First, that girl being on her phone was VERY rude and it's NOT your fault that she chose not to engage in the conversation. You were on a date, you're there to get to know each other. It's not your job to keep the conversation going. You're not her babysitter, who has to keep her occupied til mommy and daddy get home. And, you're not a clown there for her amusment. Every question you asked her, she could have asked you the same one back, but she didn't. She could have inquried about your traveling to other countries, but she didn't. So, please don't take this personally and don't think you're boring. because, I'm sure your not. This date failure is on her, not you!

    Second, that other girl who folded her hands was probably just nervous or didn't know what to do with her hands. But, I wouldn't put too much thought into why she did that. I'm sure that wasn't because you were boring her, people don't usually fold there hands when they're bored.

    Third, this is the MOST important thing. Dating is about getting to know each other and seeing where things can go. So, with that in mind. The reason people go on dates in the first place is because they're interested in someone for some reason. Whether it be attraction, a instant connection or all the above. So, these ladies that you go out with. If you and these girls had ANYTHING between you, you would know it. Connection and chemistry are just there and people usually don't go on dates with out these things. So, it's not that you're "boring". It's just that you don't have anything between you to turn a dull topic into an interesting one. Or, like the dancing. A girl who's into you would take you on that dance floor and show you how to dance and make you feel good and comfortable about dancing. And, would show you that you don't have to be embarrassed about it. So, don't take these dating failures as something you did wrong. But, see it as some thing just wasn't suppose to be.

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    • So, when you do found someone you have a spark with you'll know it. And, you won't have to worry about boring her. Because, you'll have a connection, a chemistry. You'll have things in common, like both having traveled to different countries. So, conversation will just flow like a nice wine and it will be natural. And, you won't have to try to force something that's not there.

      Instead of thinking your boring, just realize you're not finding the right girls that you can connect to. So, focus less on trying to be "interesting" (which I'm sure you already are). But, focus more on finding someone you can relate to and are just instantly drawn to.

      Sorry this was so long, but I hope I helped you in some way : )

What Girls Said 6

  • Instead of going to a restaurant, where you are just sitting there and she has access to her phone, do some sort of activity. Like try mini golf, bowling, (my personal favorite, laser tag haha), etc, something like that so she will be distracted and won't need her phone.

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  • Try to engage yourself in interesting conversations, initiate them, etc. Go to interesting places, participate in an activity or initiate them. The date doesn't have to be amazingly whatever. It can be going to the movies, a pleasant dinner at some restaurant, go-karting, etc. It's all about how you interact with your date.

    Besides that, all you gotta be is yourself. Don't do something that isn't you. Be chilled, because they are just as human as you are.

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    • What if he is a naturally boring human? Should he be himself? Lol

      We need actual examples of him; i doubt that he is just going to the wrong spots.

    • Lol that's why I also suggested to go to places that aren't boring and are easy places to get the convo going, like go-karting or even the amusement park. If he goes to a place that can get him excited and going, he'll be comfortable to act as himself and have fun.

      I don't believe there is a such thing as a boring person, because we all have stories or ideas to tell. We are all interesting in our own little way. If someone finds you boring, it's because they are not the right person for ya.

      Plus, both people have to put that effort to get to know the other person, and be as engaging. You gotta establish that chemistry; that connection. Otherwise, there simply isn't anything there.

  • You should get a female friend and have mock dates over Skype where she can give you pointers. ;D

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  • i wouldn't neccessarily say you were boring as much as she was rude. if she's doing her phone the whole time and relying on you to make conversation and iniate activities it's not going to work. this is a good example of 'it takes two to tango' cause if she's not trying to be interested or feed into the whole process, its not going to turn out as fun. my advice for the topics, maybe dont discuss ones that are so serious, try to find out her interests and what she likes and go off there, make her laugh and loosen up so that way you can both have fun and not feel awkward or like you have nothing to say. also, rather than going to a resteraunt maybe go so a movie, like a comedy, or something like that.

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  • ya go for a movie or an activity

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  • Next time plan out some stuff to talk about so you won't be so boring

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What Guys Said 4

  • The girl on the phone the whole time was very disrespectful. Not dating material at all. If she texts you only say you'll hookup with her from now on. She's just not worth it.

    As for "not being boring" put the conversation on them. Ask open ended questions and see how long you can keep her talking. She'll open up very easily. Don't worry about being interesting. See if she's interesting. You already travel around and stuff. See if she's doing the same thing.

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  • Most guys will be like you and talk about boring topics on the first date like job, family, and aspirations. Those are fine but you are not gonna catch her interest that way. You ask yourself what do women like? They like Drama, Comedy, Sex, Mystery, Suspense, and you are not gonna find those by talking about her grandma. You can choose to talk about an interesting show, or some exciting current events: "Did you hear about how Solange kicked Jay-Z's in the elevator?" Whaaa? "Yeah, she went all Jerry Springer on his ass." You get the point, you have to make her laugh, maker her think, challenge her a bit too, she will forget about her phone when she is laughing, intrigued and feeling good. Good Luck.

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  • Next time your date is looking at the phone the whole time, excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave. They can only be that disrespectful if you let them.

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  • Mock date time!

    Tell me about yourself like you were on a date; an example wool help see where you are going wrong.

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