What does he mean by "take things slow"?

I'm looking for a guys opinion on this. My boyfriend of 10 months and I broke up a couple weeks ago. We were living together and fighting constantly. We had a nasty breakup. A few days later he said he's going to really miss me and whatnot. When we would try to say goodbye neither one if us could actually do it. We decided to try again but that he wanted to "take it slow" which I agreed to. But now he doesn't want to come over that often, we don't text the normal affectionate things we did before and when I ask him about it he says I need to stop pushing things and just let things happen. To me it makes me feel like he's slipping away and losing feelings. I feel that if I just step back I will lose him forever. HELP


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just let things go with the flow. Don't be overbearing, and don't try to rush things. Don't try to control anything, and let things work themselves out.

    Sometimes not doing anything is the best- or the only- solution. Some things just cannot be controlled. Only time will fix it, whatever the issue really is.

    Maybe he's trying to get back into normalcy, so just let him work out his feelings. He must still care about the relationship a lot if he's willing to work it out and try again. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've never been in a situation where I've wanted to take it slow and have had several years plus relationships that we were living together and became intimate within days - a month. Knowing that you were living together (after dating for a few months? Yikes!) means either the first approach was way too rapid and he isn't looking for that level of commitment again so quickly. OR maybe he is trying to distance himself in order to move on. If I were to use that phrase it would mean that I'm unsure of the relationship altogether. I would just ask him what taking it slow entails - you should be comfortable enough to ask and deserve an answer. If you can't ask him or he doesn't want to answer then get out; the relationship is not going to work. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 1

  • By taking things slow he means that he gradually breaks up with you without having his male ego hurt. In a way he's doing the breaking up.

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