Is it possible for a guy to actually not mean he "just wants to be friends"?

I dated this guy over a year ago and very briefly. for about a month. We met online and he initiated 95% of the times we hung out. Basically we saw each other 3-5 times a week during that period. We never slept with each other but there was definite physical chemistry between us and he always wanted to slow things down in that department because he wanted to make sure there was something more to "us" than that. Which I didn't disagree with, but to me, that's just part of it. Anyway, I wasn't sure when he broke up with me if our personalities were going to mesh, but figured it was only a month in and it was to early to tell. He's reason for ending things were "I feel like you have stronger feelings for me at this point & I don't feel like I am feeling what I should be feeling at this point, so I think its best if we stop seeing each other." Probably the best possible way to end a budding relationship. At first he wanted to be friends but decided it was a bad decision. Anyway we lost touch for over a year and then randomly saw each other online like a month ago again. Eventually we finally ended up catching up in person. When we met up, there was definitely still physical attraction (a woman just knows), chemistry and the conversation was easy. We talked for a solid 3 hours. So I thought maybe it was something more than a "Catch up" hang out. I asked him out to dinner later that week and he said "Sure, but just to be clear, are we going as friends? I don't want to mislead you". Which of course, burst my bubble, so I cancelled and let him know a week later that I was okay with the friend zone again. Then like two weeks later he asked to hang out again and it was another 3 hour hang out session and the chemistry and physical attraction was definitely there. So I'm wondering if its possible for a guy to not actually mean he wants to be just friends. Like could it be that he's trying to feel things out still?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry, I did not read anything after your title. NO GUY EVER MEANS "I just want to be friends". EVER. No guy looks at a woman and thinks "she would just the the best friend to have. if given the right circumstances, he will always want to have sex with you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • "Like could it be that he's trying to feel things out still?"

    I think that's probably the most likely answer.

    That, or he's dating someone else that's hotter and he's not sure if it will work out, so he's keeping you on the backburner.

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    • So as a guy, you're saying that sometimes when a guy says that (if he continues to act attracted to you) that it might mean he's just trying to feel it out to see if something more could potentially develop from it?

What Girls Said 1

  • i think he is still trying to feel things out with you. see where things go.

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    • I think that's the vibe I'm getting from him too. The other odd thing is that the second time we hung out he told me night of that he had an awful week, including a funeral of a childhood neighbor and was going to have a rough day the following day too. So then I thought "well that's kind of strange for someone to want to spend a free evening with someone that he really barely knows? right?" Like if i had a bad week I'd want to either sit on my couch and watch TV until I passed out or hang out with my closest friends…definitely not someone that I consider a new friend or barely know. So clearly he thinks highly of me and enjoys my company. I just find it weird that we connect so well and I can tell that he's still attracted to me that he wouldn't want to at least try again. I mean we haven't even had the "what happened" conversation yet…but I also don't want to freak him out and scare him away because I think he's an over thinker and just needs to ease into something.

    • thats good that you are thinking of how he is feeling, so you'll be sure when the moment is right to approach this touchy subject. just give him some time.

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