Should I be upset he called me his sex slave?

Question

My bf and i were getting into bed. He said let's do it and I said no. Then he said come on your my slave my little sex slave. I got mad and said that was kinda mean. And he said he was just kidding. Should I take that offensive or what did he mean exactly by that?

lumos · Accepted Answer

I'd take it as something offensive, yes. But that's because of the context.
Basically, you told him no. And that should have been enough for him to back off or get the hint. But then he went on and told you that you're his sex slave, which makes him seem like an entitled brat. Even if he was "joking".
But as I said, it's purely because of the context. Personally, I wouldn't mind being called something like that in the heat of the moment when I'm actually playing along. But you said no, so obviously you didn't want to play along. So in context, I'd say it was slightly offensive and a little bit tactless.
Maybe you should talk to him and say that when you're not in the mood, you don't even like hearing dirty talk or whatever, and that you'd appreciate it if he didn't nag about sex like that.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He was being dominant, telling you you're his.
I wouldn't be offended by that at all because I love that kind of talk and intense domination, but that's just me.
Maybe you guys should start discussing what you really want and like in the bedroom, fantasies... explore.

NightBlindness · Accepted Answer

It's a rather demeaning label, but I don't think he meant it in a way to offend, maybe as a tease?

Don't be overly offended but ask him not to refer to you as a sex slave again and in regards to what he meant, well it can be interpreted in many ways

DodgersGM · Accepted Answer

It sounds to me like he is more of a dominant type of guy and he was simply exerting that dominance by calling you his sex slave.

I highly, highly doubt he meant it in a way that he thought would be offensive to you. My guess is that he probably thought you'd like it and that it might turn you on, even.

Nobody can tell YOU how to feel about it, but I can tell you that a man who loves his woman can absolutely be dominant with her, and in many cases, it can even be a greater expression of real, actual love. It might seem counter intuitive, but I guarantee you that the two things are not mutually exclusive.

So yeah, discuss it with him and tell him what your likes and wants are, and see if y'all can make your individual desires mesh.

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

I think if he was joking then yes. I've made some similar comments but they are 100% jokes.

do you think he was truly serious? like did he really seem serious or do you think you may just have overreacted?

Izzy2102 · Answer

Unless he does anything to actually make you feel that way, just take it as a joke or dirty talk

stubbsy · Answer

don't take it to personally, but when your not up for having sex, let him know your no ones slave, and if anything, he's yours, but it is usually only ever said in jest and meant with no malice, x

throwit · Answer

Damn really? It sounds like he was just trying to be funny/sexy/get you in the mood -_____-

ReXXiLLe · Answer

Yes you should definitely call your best friend now and cry on the phone about his sex play.

Ryu_Gabriev · Answer

Depends... if he takes the lead during sex and you just endure what he does to you, that's you being submissive to his actions. Which might mean he's trying to see if you're open to this mutation of a traditional relationship.

Sex_Panther · Answer

He was kidding.

submissivegirl · Answer

Try it for once though. You won't regret it.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

He was kidding. How did you not get that?

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

Yes, you have the right to be upset, i would be shattered  emotionally if some girl would use me as her sex slave i hope you can come to sound mind with this situation.

iampikachu · Answer

I would take that has offensive.  Its like he said you are to please him when ever he wants.

NoblesseOblige · Answer

When horny, lots of girls get off on it.  When you're not in the mood, just lol.  He chose the wrong time.

Keyspirits · Answer

Its still consider offensive cuz he might be viewing u that way in order to say it. He needs to reconsider things before saying such words outloud. Its disrepectful..

Anonymous · Answer

He shouldn't have said that but when guys want sex and you turn us down (particularly if you turn him down a lot) it will be very annoying. Try to give it to him a couple fo times a week at least