How do I handle being kind of feminist?

I'm not all the way feminist but I do believe in emotional abuse and mental abuse. Such as a man being a womanizer and manipulator. This is why I didn't give my last ex the opportunity to get married with me. Not even to have children he would bring it up and I would say yes sure. Yet in the back of my head I knew that if we were married and I found out he kept on playing games I would walk out of the marriage and get child support for our child. I wouldn't stay there for him to keep on using me for sex or to be a friend for him. Now I'm glad that it's all over since I'm sparing hurt for my future children, myself and him. I understand that he was hurt in the past which is the reason why he couldn't give me his heart. So I am understanding on maybe he experienced things in the past that made him this way. My problem is that as much as I can be compassionate to things like this. I can't shake the fact that I have become pretty heartless myself and that could affect my future family. I have noticed the men in my family were raised by women turned out to be great husbands. As I said I have compassion towards men's feelings but I just can't stay in a marriage like that. So I'm kind of feminist and kind of not. How do I deal with this way of thinking?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That doesn't sound like you're being a feminist.

    That sounds like you actually have legitimate, fair, and reasonable expectations of self-respect.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I didn't read all the text but an answer to your question could be focus on gender equality instead of femenism

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  • don't get married all men try and cheat. also remember all woman try and upgrade thier BF. so get off your high horse and remenber men are no worse than woman, but everthing great was because of men

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What Girls Said 2

  • Wait, is this actually an issue with feminism or an issue with your conflicting feelings? Because all feminism is is believing that men and women should be equal. It's not about believing that all men hurt women or that men as a whole are bad. It's just about fixing the issues in society with gender inequality and the problems caused by traditional gender roles. You can believe in feminism while believing that most men are okay. You can believe that abuse is an issue, and that men sometimes abuse women, while still believing that many men are okay. In sorry, I just don't see the conflict.

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    • lets not forget about some women who attack them as well. It makes me feel like some rasist

  • @Anonymous Reading this question gets me just so frustrated! Without ranting and thoroughly explaining what a feminist is, lets be clear you're NOT a feminist. You have a bad choice in men is all. What you did was the right choice for yourself and your family. You might not see it now, but the relationship you had wasn't healthy for your child. Growing up in a broken home isn't the worse situation, trust me.

    Sincerely,

    Erotica

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