Am I the ugly friend...or just black?

Hey, so just got done with my first year of college and my ego/self-esteem has definitely taken a few hits. I only went out 5 times this year and that's because every time I did go out my friends would be swarmed by boys and I would just awkwardly sit and observe.virtually no guys showed me any interest...I gave 2 guys my number at separate nights after having cool conversations with them but they never called/texted me. My friends have the opposite problem as me and can't keep guys off them...literally 10 at a time it seems. This is very frustrating, I am 20 years old and never been kissed or had a guy show interest in me. My parents said its because im a tall black girl going to a predominatly white university but I dont know...I just feel like a repellent.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it is the fact that your friends are more attractive. Honestly, I think you're attractive and I'm not usually attracted to black females. However, us guys have an "all or nothing" mentality. If there are 7 girls, all guys will go for the most attractive one and only go for the lesser attractive ones if they have an exceedingly cool personality.

    If you want to meet a guy, you should strongly consider doing this while alone because you will be the best-looking and most interesting one as well as making yourself easier to approach.

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What Guys Said 4

  • No, you're definitely not ugly. I guarantee that.

    So, I guess if I were answering your question, that would mean that you're "just black." This may make a difference if you're always hanging around white guys. I'm white, and I'm usually more attracted to white women over black women. So, this may be what's happening.

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  • im guessing its the black thing to be honest, because i think you are kinda cute.

    but if you are tall, especially if you are taller than a lot of guys, thats also intimidating/off putting.

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  • You're the attractive girl that is surrounded by extremely attractive girls it sounds like.

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  • I dunno. Obama's daughters are tall and black and I'm sure they are blowing the secret service.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with your parents. If that is your and a friend in a pic I actually think you are prettier than her. You should branch out, find more diverse settings. Maybe try a new look and stop worrying about what guys want you. Separate yourself for awhile when you're out with your friends and give guys a chance to com up to you. Being mixed race I KNOW race is an issue as I also only have white friends. It's a tough situation but you have to be confident and make that why you're a star amongst them. If some guys don't see it they aren't worth your time. If you exude this feeling of worth guys (the right ones, not all of them) will come for you. And I would say don't try hard with a guy at your age. Talk, chat, if he isn't giving you proper interest move on. A lot of white guys at that age think they have status over you. This is just truth.

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  • Wow i think you are very pretty guys must be just intimidated..

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  • Maybe the problem is that you don't look like the type to just hook up. I guess it could be the black thing too, but it's definitely not because of your looks.

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    • It's very true that guys can smell a decent girl from hook up type girl. Don't stop going out though, you only have one chance at college. Please don't compare yourself. You are you and beautiful. And I guarantee those guys who are "swarming" your friends are only interested in 1 thing and nothing beyond that in a club. Please do not put yourself down. Be yourself and the right dude will not have any hesitation.

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