Seeing nice guy at home but there's someone else and I'll be going to college w/ him in the fall. Please help?

In winter 2012 I met this guy that I really really liked. We'll call him hippie guy. Only catch was he lived on the other side of the country. When I was there he pursued me and when I left we talked on the phone and texted a lot for a while and he even invited me to come visit him. I was about to buy my plane ticket when he just flat out didn't text me or call me back...needless to say I was pissed off and hurt. It was not pleasant. We never had a chance to get serious, but I still think about him from time to time. Like he's sort of drifting around in the back of my mind. When he heard I was thinking of applying to the college he and my friend go to he texts me telling me he hopes I'll go there. Mixed messages much.

So now I'm casually seeing this guy at home, we can call him fling guy. We work at the same restaurant and were friends for nearly a year before we hooked up. I enjoy spending time with him and think he's a really good person and was totally ready to have a nice little summer fling with him until my friend invited me to go on a trip with her.
It just so happens that her aunt is best friends with hippie guy's mom (crazy crazy coincidence), so we'd be going to their house for this summer solstice festival they throw every year (hippies, yes, and I am into it lol). And in the fall I will be going to college with him.

I know I'm not in a relationship with fling guy but I feel guilty even thinking about visiting hippie guy because fling guy is so sweet, treats me well and would never stop talking to me out of the blue.

So what should I do? I really need your help! I hate making these decisions so much I'll usually just not do anything and let both things fizzle out.

  • Hippie guy sound bad news flaky...
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  • Don't make waves, you've got a guaranteed summer fling to enjoy.
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  • Why not both? They'll never find out and you've made no commitments, you sly dog ;)
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  • Go on the trip! If nothing comes of it better than wondering if something would have.
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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • eh... erm... you're in a predicament huh? lol this stumps me. um i'd ask yourself some questions:
    would your relationship with fling guy last more than the summer?
    would the relationship you could have with hippie guy be long term?
    is there one that you can see yourself with being with for the rest of your life?
    do you feel like you have to have a guy all the time and thats why you're considering both? (some girls are like this)
    why would you not go on the trip with your friend?

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    • Thank you this really helps. No I'm not usually going from one guy to the other or if I am I do it extremely clumsily haha. I do feel like I want to keep my options open especially because I don't want the hippie guy to break my heart again. But I could see him being long term if he didn't ruin things. Not so much with fling guy because I'm leaving so soon and I don't want to do long distance. Also he is four years older than me and probably wants a serious girlfriend.
      I wouldn't go on the trip with my friend to avoid hippie guy cause he really hurt me and I usually squirm out of difficult situations.

    • ah okay. so your issue is with this hippie guy then, now you have to ask yourself if your willing to put your heart on the line (to possibly open yourself up to emotional hurt) to see this guy. you said that you could see being long term if he didn't ruin things, would this be worth it to try?

    • Yes I think we could have a really meaningful relationship but if things go south we go to the same college with less than 1,000 people and I'd have to see him every day. I guess it's better to try than wondering what if.

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