GUYS! I like a guy that has liked me for years but now he has a girlfriend. Should I tell him anyway?

In high school I was friends with this guy who was really attracted to me and liked me for several years, including the year after we graduated. I was more popular than he was and didn't want to risk my status by dating him even though I was attracted to him and thought he was funny and a good person.
I've been out of the country for a few months recently but have been thinking about calling him and wanted to hang out when I get back. Then he called me last week out of the blue. We talked for an hour and he told me he had a girlfriend. He didn't go into it but they've been dating for 4 months and it sounded like it was serious. He even said he loved her. I tried not to sound weird but I could hear my voice get really high and pinched when I said how happy I was for him. I was so jealous and sad that I'd missed my chance with him.
I still want to tell him how I feel but I'm not sure if I should wait a year or so until they brake up or just tell him when I get home and we hang out. It seems kind of unfair of me to tell him now when he's happy after years of me not giving him the time of day but if there's any chance that he still feels the same way about me I want to tell him before they get more serious.

What would you do if a girl you liked for years sprung this on you when you had a gf?
Thanks for any advice


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, don't tell him. Keep it to yourself..

    He has probably chased you for a very long time, and now that he's tried to move on and has a relationship with someone else, you coming into the picture will fuck with his head. You have missed that boat...

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    • Thanks for your reply. Yeah I was afraid of that. It is very unfair of me. Do you think it would be ok to wait until they brake up to tell him?

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    • Hmmm, just play it safe. Be friends, but if you feel it is turning into something more shut it down, if he is still with his girlfriend that is

    • Ok I will. Thanks very much :)

What Guys Said 1

  • I would have worried more about my crush then more than I would have worried about popularity. It's now what I would do now, it's about what I would have done then. I would have told him back when the opportunity was right.

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    • Well I was wrapped up in social status as nearly everyone in high school is. I wish I had more confidence back then to just do what I wanted but I didn't. Your only 13-17 in HS, that is a lot to ask from basically children.

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    • I think I will wait and tell him eventually because I know at the end of the day he'd want me to. Of course I won't be waiting on the sidelines, I'll have my life and meet new guys but I'm not going to forget about him just yet.

    • If you're going to tell him, you should probably do it in sort of a jokinly manner. Such as: it just figures I left for a short while and you already found another girl to at least get his reaction.

What Girls Said 4

  • You shouldn't pry into someone elses relationship like that, its pretty disrespectful. Dont tell him and dont wait around until they "break up", if that happens. I've kept my mouth shut about people I've liked because they are in relationships and it is not my place to say anything and me liking them has no baring on their life at that moment, they are with someone else. and yes it was regarding someone who had liked me for years and asked me out before. fast forward a few years im over it and i am in a happy relationship with someone else.

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  • You lost your chance. It was years, now you want him when he is taken? I don't think so. Don't be selfish. He's happy now. If you really want to tell him, wait until they break up. Don't ruin it for him and HIS GIRL that loves him very much no matter the "status". You're just a little too late now.

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  • that would be a terribly selfish thing for you to do

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  • If he has a girlfriend, respect that relationship. If some girl who still likes my bf went and did that I would think she's a hoe. You may be a really good person, but let their relationship play out. Tbh, you kind of missed your chance and now you want him now that he's taken? Thats not very kool. Not trying to be mean, but you wouldn't want a girl to do that if you ever were dating him right? Respect that he's taken and let that relationship play out.

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    • I actually was going to call him and tell him before I knew he was in a relationship...should have included that in the post, sorry. Your right I would not want some girl to do that to me. Thanks for your post I will let it play out.

    • Thats smart. If its meant to be you'll get another chance. If not, then it wasn't meant to happen anyways, and you oughta just move on. Letting it play out doesn't mean to be single til he is ready. Go out and have some fun too. Enjoy life. Dont let a boy keep you from that.

    • Of course not :)

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