Never been kissed and ugly...

So this is a very hard subject for me to talk about but...i need advice so here goes. I'm 20 years old, just turned 20 actually, and I have never been kissed. I'm beginning to think its weird. Men also seem to show no interest in me at all. I think my body is pretty ok, I mean I have big boobs and long legs and I'm thin. While a may have these good attributes that I can admit to myself...i think the reason men do not approach me is because they perhaps find me too hideous. It may be paranoid but I constantly feel that people are judging me and thinking that I am ugly. I feel that unlike most people who think they are ugly...i know for a fact that I am ugly and this will hinder me. Also, all my life no one has ever told me I was pretty or beautiful, not even my mother and my friends sometimes joke about my looks. I don't think they know that it really hurts when they say the things they do.

I would really like for someone to just give me the hard facts about my looks with brutal honesty. because honestly I can't tell what people are thinking and I assume it is bad all of the time.

I would really like to have a meaningful relationship with someone I find attractive one day but I don't know if I can since I am the way I am. I don't really know what question I would like to ask in this...i guess I would just like your opinions on my situation. Any answer will be much appreciated.

Updates:
if a picture helps, I posted a few in my profile. please leave me any advice you have even if it is to tell me that I am just as ugly as I already know. but if you have something I could improve that would help my looks please let me know.
i posted a picture in my profile.. so friend me if you need it to give advice.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It makes me sad to think that you have such little confidence in yourself. I really believe that no one is ugly, they just might not be what society considers attractive and it's not fair to them to be classified as ugly. I think what makes me even more sad is that you believe you're ugly just because no one has told you otherwise.

    I haven't seen you but I'm going to tell you this, you are no doubt a wonderful person who has many awesome qualities and you know what? That's all I really need to tell you that you're pretty :)

    Don't be the one to cause your unhappiness! Wear what you want to wear (not because someone tells you it will look good but because you like it and it makes you happy), act how you want to act (because if you're being fake just to have people like you, that can be a totally unattractive quality) and smile, always smile (because if you're happy with yourself and think that you're pretty then that will catch other people's attention and they'll start to think the same way too)

    Never being kissed has nothing to do with being ugly (cause there are some 'gorgeous' people who have never been kissed and some 'not so attractive' people who have been). Don't worry, it will happen eventually, it always does :)

    Sorry for the short novel haha, I guess I get carried away at times.

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What Guys Said 4

  • "It may be paranoid but I constantly feel that people are judging me and thinking that I am ugly."

    Don't look at yourself through other people's eyes; or else your happiness would vaporize very easily.

    "I mean I have big boobs and long legs and I'm thin. While a may have these good attributes that I can admit to myself...I would really like for someone to just give me the hard facts about my looks with brutal honesty."

    When I look at your photo, there is an inconsistency, something that doesn't look right.

    You look like a straight forward, honest person with a soul. The inconsistency lies in the way you dress. It seems to be saying, "I am selling meat here". It doesn't really reflect your personality. Why would you want to attract guys who is primarily interested in your body? Bear in mind that when you are with someone in a serious relationship, the majority of your time together would be spent OUTSIDE the bedroom. If a guy can't even figure that out, his intelligence would make him probably not someone you prefer to be with.

    In my opinion, if you dress down, STOP looking at yourself through other people's eyes, start getting rid of the negative opinions you have on yourself, which you are harboring (it may take awhile to do that), get clear on what kind of guy you want and stay focused, the guy YOU want will show up. No, you are not ugly. Beauty is in the mind of the beholder, anyway. You also have the next 20 years (at least) for Mr. Right to show up in your life, who knows, maybe he will show up in 2 years?

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    • Thanks for the response but I geuss I should tell you that I don't generally dress like that...we were having a sorority formal and all my friends encouraged me to buy it. Those are also the most recent pictures I have. but thanks fo the response

    • I don't think you dress like that everyday too, ..lol... My point is, don't worry about physical attractiveness. Who is more physically beautiful, Dianna or Camilla Parker? Who is the woman Prince Charles really want? Haven't him seen, and dated, and married, what many considered the most "perfect" woman in the world? His story tells a lot about what love is....

  • Nothing to worry about. You're still very young and there's plenty of time to find out about kissing.

    Most people are pressured into getting romantic too soon. It should be something you look back on positively, not with regret, and with your maturity now you are less likely to be foolish about it.

    Relax and take things as they come!

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  • People often see themselves in the way they think. You need to do something to change your mindset. People convince themselves of certain things then see those things in mirrors or pictures. At the moment you sound depressed, the fact you haven't had a boyfriend or been kissed plays on your mind and reinforces your belief that you are not attractive. That is then the vibe you give out which makes you seem unattractive to others.I have a friend who I think is completely gorgeous yet she is incredibly insecure about her looks and instead of being happy and bubbly she hides away and shuts people out, no one approaches her for that reason and it reinforces her believe that she's not attractive. Do you see my point?

    You are more than welcome to send me a picture, I will give you my honest opinion. It breaks my heart when people are like this. I am not the best looking guy in the world, but I keep a positive attitude and it doesn't really bother me :)

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    • Thanks for the advice, but do you know how one might go about changing thier mindset?

    • Oh and I added a picture but I set my profile to private just friend me. : )

  • Hon, there are no ugly women... I bet ur just an ugly duckling... and we all remember what happened to the ugly duckling one day... he (in ur case, she) realized that she was a beautiful swan...

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What Girls Said 1

  • ok, I came in too late for the pictures which is fine. I read authentic's comment and I think I understand part of the problem. if your friends are picking out your clothes, you aren't wearing what fits YOUR personality. obviously friends are great for telling you what looks awful or "which is better," but never let someone tell you to wear something that doesn't fit who you are. I used to dress the same way every other teenager dressed but, for whatever reason, it always made me look lazy and I didn't feel good about my looks. once I graduated high school, I realized wearing something that I am drawn to- not what I see people wearing around me- will make me happier. since then, I have started wearing clothes with more of a vintage look and people think I look great! I don't even wear make-up anymore and people say I look better than I ever did in high school. i, like you, never dated a lot. but during my first year of college, guys started to notice me. I honestly believe that all of this attention is a result of a changed mindset. the different style made me feel better about myself and made me look the way I feel inside. people are drawn to confidence, happiness, and honesty. I think what you need is some good ol' fashion retail therapy and a little optimism. be yourself, as cliche as it sounds. thinks will work out, they always do.

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