Do you have higher expectations or lower expectations while dating?

when you are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend what are your expectations?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, apparently fat girls aren't supposed to have any expectations lol

    I have no experience here. I'm the tragic single virgin fatty. But it's partly (mostly, maybe?) my fault. I dont date at all so far...I scared. :'(

    I dont think I have an unreasonably long list of things. Some friends say I'm picky, others dont. I just know whom I'm attracted to physically, and while that does tend to be certain things more than others, its not one specific look. So physically attracted, and also personality. Personality is the hard part, the whole package is the hard part. Especially if you're a very political person like I am and someones character, their beliefs, values, matter. I also want someone who likes traveling like I do, who is ambitious, compassionate, loves talking to me (because I can definitely talk...), has the intellectual capacity to keep up in discussions that aren't so silly, and then has the humor and light hearted side to be silly and appreciate my silliness in return. I guess in that sense my standards are high? But that doesn't seem like anything. That just seems like a person looking for compatible people, right? Why would I want someone with characteristics that mean we wouldn't get along well? No brainer.

    Actually, looks may be the hard part. Well, I don't know it all goes together. If I got out there more and if I was more open to flirting and come ons, and less uptight about this stuff, I'd be closer to getting what I want. Enough people to whom I'm attracted seem attracted to me even though I am quite fat. BUT still, a lot of people I'm attracted to arent. And I have a race preference. I'm mainly into non-black guys, but I'm a mixed girl (black). Its not about looks, I'm very pretty...but most white guys aren't jumping at the chance to date a fat black girl. I have to be real with myself on that.

    Does this answer the question? I'm not sure I answered the question the way you wanted it answered lol

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    • you could always work on the way you look, haven't you tried reducing weight

    • Eh. I'm bothered by the politics involved with this idea that you have to change your body to date. I'm a believer in body/fat acceptance/body positivity. You can be body positive and still lose weight, but you have to acknowledge what message people will take from your actions and consider whether or not you're enabling something you're against, especially if weight loss is primarily to look a certain way. This is just the kind of shit I get myself into by being myself. I'm not sure that you would understand that or not, but there it is. Having said that, I have tried losing weight. I've lost some weight. I'm still "fat" though, and I'm slow about it all. I lost 25-30 pounds but over two years lol I'll lose more but at my own pace. More important than that is living my life, which I generally do...but I still suck on this issue. Want to be comfortable with love and sex at any size because its a part of life. Its hard though. Work in progress, as we all are.

What Girls Said 7

  • I have semi high expectations, but sometimes you meet someone and you come to find out that the expectations you thought were so important aren't. The fact is there is no perfect match. No perfect woman, and no perfect man. I try not to have expectations because most of the time the traits I like or he excels in make up for the ones that aren't so great. Example...I prefer taller men, but if he was short and had so many great assets I wouldn't dismiss my expectation of height. I hope that makes sense! ;)

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  • Not sure about expectations. But I do not settle for less that what I want

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  • Whoever I date has to be my best friend. That's my expectation. It is extremely hard to get close to me and even harder for me to express myself so that's definitely a high expectation.

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  • High expectations. I do not lower my standards for anyone/anything.

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  • Incredibly low, but then it has to be when you have a minutely small dating pool.

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    • would you date someone you are not attracted but still want to have someone

    • You are on the internet. Your dating pool is everything.

      I can show you the world...

    • If i wasn't attracted to them physically and emotionally then no. Wouldn't date them.

  • No expectations. What happens, happens.

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  • I have very low expectations. I'm just happy someone is willing to touch me or let me kiss them.

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  • I want higher but always end up settling for lower

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What Guys Said 7

  • Zero.

    I go in to meet a human being, not meet someone with the idea that they need to be exactly who I want them to be. A huge thing people don't realize is that having differences is what makes us unique.

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  • I'm more particular about who she is inside as long as she hits an attractive level looks wise.

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  • People are people. I don't create false barriers or pedestals for them. Let them prove themselves.

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  • Low. I have to be realistic, I am below average in most respects, no point waiting in vain for highly desirable women to drop into my lap.

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  • more than expectations i felt all over there is an uncertainty

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  • High! Uber high!

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