Am I wrong to be upset about this?

My boyfriend is going to a party tonight without me. There will be drinking and I'm kind of upset. I mean, I'm currently dealing with a death in my family and he's going out partying. Am I wrong to be upset about that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not wrong to be upset about it but it is wrong to take it out on him (not saying you did). Since you two are very young he probably doesn't have the experience to comfort someone in your situation.

    He should be more attentive towards you in this time that you're going through but age is the big factor here. He's just too young (I'm assuming because your age bracket) and doesn't know how to approach the situation, most likely.

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    • He's 19 and I'm 17. I'll be 18 in about 3 months. I haven't said anything to him about it because I don't want him to feel like I'm being controlling.

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    • Thanks. That actually really helps. (:

    • Your very welcome:)

What Guys Said 3

  • what are you upset about? the fact that he's going to a party where there's going to be drinking? the fact that he's not staying with you? that you aren't going or invited?

    I think it's natural to feel upset about these types of things but I think reflecting on what is the sort of that anger is necessary. is he really doing something wrong? if you feel like he legitimately is doing something wrong or could do something different should you address it?

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    • upset that he was going to go to a party where there was drinking without me when I'm dealing with this. I wanted him to stay with me instead. Turns out the party was cancelled and we talked it over and he was very understanding. Thanks!

    • glad to hear.

  • You have every right to feel upset.

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  • Is your concern that he should be there to comfort you or is it more a matter of you not trusting him to behave?

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    • Oh, I trust him. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone. I just wish he were here for me. It has nothing to do with not trusting him.

    • OK. I agree he should be there for you. I also agree with the other poster here who blamed it on his age. I think it's probably just a maturity thing. Often guys that age are not so good at understanding these sorts of scenarios and how to be supportive. I would suggest not being mad at him but diplomatically letting him know you would appreciate his support.

    • Thanks (:

What Girls Said 2

  • no you have the right to be upset, sorry for your loss and im not saying he doesn't care but if he was the supportive boyfriend he would be there comforting you instead of going to a party. now if he asked you could he go and you said "yeah" or "you didn't care if he went" then getting upset would be wrong because you allowed him to go.

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    • He actually didn't ask. He told me he was invited and I just kinda ignored it. I haven't told him how I feel because I don't want him thinking I'm controlling.

  • Hell no I would be furious if I were you! You are in a time of need and he doesn't want to be there for you? Maybe he doesn't know how to help you? Maybe you should tell him what you want out of him at this point so he knows what to do.

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    • I'm not furious I just wish he were here for me, you know? We usually talk every night but he's going to be at this party the one time I actually need him. I don't know what to do anymore.

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    • I did and it turns out, the party was cancelled. I'm kinda glad it was. He was very understanding when I talked it over with him.

    • I'm glad it got worked out hun take care!

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