Have any guys ever dated a women that was in a abusive relationship before u or ladies have u ever been in a abusive relationship how did u deal with?

Have u ever dated someone who was in a abusive relationship before u or if u have been in a abusive relationship how did u get over it for the next relationship?
I was a guy for 12 years he was very abusive so I finally left and that was 2 years ago well that is effecting my current relationship because I am still scared to death of my ex and I get scared and shut down with my boyfriend and I argue he don't see why I am scared of my ex and why I shut down my boyfriend is a great guy and has never evwn raised his voice to me and is always there for me and is very protective of me when my ex is around picking up the kids or dropping them off is there some way to get over this I feek like it is ruining my relationship

  • i have been in a abusive relationship
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  • I have dated someone who was in a abusive relationship
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Most Helpful Guy

  • its difficult, they dont trust at all. and its just nuts. My ex fiancee messed me up. controlling, multi-call, multi-text. didn't like the fact I helped my mom (who is 77), she was just nuts :(, She didn't want me to have friends

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    • I kno what u mean by the controlling

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    • I am following u @legalboxers

    • send me a message :) is your situation ok?

What Guys Said 4

  • I've dated a woman who was in a real bad relationship before me. She was real closed off emotionally, intimacy was especially difficult for her. She always thought I had other motives and tried pushing me away. She had serious abandonment issues from childhood as well, so she never wanted to open herself up to a relationship where someone played a major role in her life. It's very painful being in a relationship with someone that has those issues. You need to take it real slow, be transparent with everything with them.

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  • I've been out of abusive relationship for 1 month,, I'm not going to repeat my story as I've had to re write it every day this week, might write it out so I can copy paste it from now on lol.

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    • My relationship wasn't abusive until about a year before it ended he started drinkin a lot and it was mostly verbal but I can't get over my fear of him because he was physical a few times any ideas?

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    • I did leave two years ago but I am still scared of him we have children together so we still have to communicate unfortunately I am in my first relationship since my ex and my boyfriend dont see why I am so scared of my ex my boyfriend is by my side specially when the ex is around but I still fear him

    • I was lucky we didn't have kids ( I was very careful)
      If he try's anything then you will have to use a meet centre to deliver the children, it's a lifetime your going to have to deal with this man so you need to find a way that doesn't involve you being scared. Make sure your ex is always there at least:)

  • my wife was hit her with a baseball bat left her for dead with two crying babies her sister found her 3 days later after he did that went to bar a laugh with his friends and one of them was a police chief in town they lived in I see my wife's ex I hit him with a ball bat and see how she felt that low life bastard

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    • How did u help her cope with that it bothers my boyfriend that I am scared of my ex how can I makehim see why

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    • From my experience men like that are few and far between

    • yes some of are when you love a bf or gf or spouse you do not hit o hurt them or tal down to them you try and bring them up

  • I have dated people that were in abusive relationships. I am sure people aren't going to like this answer, but now I am convinced that if they were in an abusive relationship for long, it is most likely because on some level they desire the chaos such a relationship brings. These people seem bound and determined to create drama, when there is no need for it. Mentally stable people tend to get out of abusive relationships pretty quickly.

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What Girls Said 1

  • sorry to hear that, but I think you my need some therapy, I think you should let him pick up the children from a different address as deep down your mind knows , that he knows where you live, just seeing him at your home is taking your memory back, if the child's father picked the children up from another location, you will not need to visually see him around your home which is your only place to be at peace. and it can counteract your feelings of vulnerability which can't be very healthy for you to heal and recover

    good luck x

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    • I am workin though therapy and he dont come to my house he lives in a different state we meet him half way and starting at the end of June my parnets will do the pick up and drop off

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