Is intelligence a waste (dating wise) for a female?

If men are largely indifferent to intelligence, what should smart women do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wtf no, intelligence is never a waste. Even if guys you meet are indefferent towards it. Smart women should just be themseleves like everybody else. Being smart may set you appart from women who aren't but it doesn't mean you're automatically better or above other women. Now don't get me wrong, there are guys out there who love intelligent women but it's not the deciding factor and it doesn't mean you'll automatically get a guy because of it. It's all about the whole package. A women can a rocket scientist but she might be unattractive, overly bitchy, or may have other disqualifying and/or unattractive traits.

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    • I absolutely agree! I'm trying to figure out how to play to my strengths. Haha.

What Guys Said 19

  • Well...it may be for most men, but not all. For example, I myself would always prefer a woman with whom I can connect intellectually rather than physically. Maybe I'm among the very few men who don't think looks are everything. Most people do mention that I'm quite intelligent (not bragging here, this is what OTHERS say), and I'd definitely prefer an intelligent woman more than any other type of woman.

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    • I hope there are many guys out there like this! I can't date a guy who doesn't enjoy learning new things, but the competition is so fierce!

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    • Best of luck! :)

    • Thanks! :)

  • I'm not indifferent to intelligence. Your maturity and how you carry yourself mean a lot to me. Well-educated and/or intelligent women are USUALLY the ones who carry themselves the most pridefully.

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  • It defends on how to determine if they're intelligent or not. Many women who claim to be only have some silly degree and think it gives them the right to condescend other people who didn't spend their money on one.

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    • I agree. I know some annoying people like that. Male and female.

  • Personally, Intelligence are a requirement for me. If the girl doesn't have the intelligence to keep up with more, or is isn't at least willing to learn stuff like me, then I can't entirely say I'd be happy with them. I guess it's about finding the right man to compliment your personality.

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  • Absolutely not!! Intelligence is one of my top five criteria when it comes to the ladies along with compassion, open mindedness, kinkiness, and a love of college basketball.

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  • The same thing other women do. Why would being intelligent matter?

    I'm downplaying it somewhat tbh. Smart men are likely to prefer it long rub. I suspect smart+high sex drive matches up especially well with others who are smart + high drive.

    And just like it is for men, if you actually apply your intelligence TO dating rather then wait for people to want you because of it , it's a huge asset. But that requires looking behind the curtain and a lot of people find that depressing.

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    • I spend too much time back there... Maybe my problem is being too introspective and gloomy ;)

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    • When I was young and single, I seemed to mainly attract prudes. I'd like to change that if single myself :p

    • Maybe you can use body language to spice things up (cue Barry white)

  • Well I'm sure as hell not indifferent to intelligence. Intelligence is sexy, in my opinion. There are smart guys who value intelligence in a woman. But because of the nature of the Bell curve, there's just not as many of them, just as there's not as many intelligent women.

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  • a girls intelligence level doesn't really matter as long as it doesn't effect her personality.

    and what is the scale for her intelligence? some degree or what was learned in real life. A girl should not feel her personal intelligence level is important , her attitude and personality are far more important when it comes to a guy or anybody else during her every day life

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  • We are not largely indifferent to intelligence. Please do not ever dumb yourself down for a man. If a guy wants you to be stupid in order for him to date you then fuck him - he's not worth your time.

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  • Most men are not indifferent to intelligence. They think they are until they get that first girl who is dumb as a box of rocks. She's fun at first but she's wears on you pretty quick

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  • Female intelligence will never be wasted on a TRULY intelligent male. Never.

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  • its fine to be intelligent, just let him be the man. no man a women actually wants to be with is going to want to be battling with his women on who is right about stupid shit.

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    • That goes for most women too. Combative people aren't pleasant.

  • Intelligence is a trait but how, where and when you apply your intelligence makes you intelligent..

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  • I like smart women but not feminists

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  • Intelligence isn't as high as looks, but it's hardly a waste. Being sharp is a good thing in dating.

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  • It's not a waste for the right guys. Maybe you're dating the wrong guys?

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    • Maybe. My ex used to pick at my appearance a lot, even though I'm pretty average (not in a bad way). I am trying to date again and I'm nervous.

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    • He was extremely intelligent - an engineer.

    • Engineers can be very picky and controlling, or so I've heard. ;)
      But suit and tie is right, lots of men find intelligence attractive.

  • Intelligence is important, but if a woman's intelligence is measured solely by a degree then it is a waste. There are different ways to measure intelligence. If a women is like Sheldon on the big bang theory, she would lack the most important types of intelligence. Being able to do complex math may be impressive, but it isn't something guys care enough about to make it a priority when finding a significant other.

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  • Um, well since it's pretty much my number one priority when it comes to whether or not I want to be in a romantic relationship or not, I would say the premise of this question is incorrect. You're dating the wrong men for you if a guy doesn't appreciate your best qualities.

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    • That's good to know. I'm getting back in the dating pool and looking for some ways to do well.

    • For me, if the intelligence isn't there, then there's not much chance for any time of really meaningful relationship to develop. Even as just friends, they wouldn't be a really close friend because I'd probably often be kind of bored of them. They wouldn't be interesting to me in the ways I find meaningful.

      Like one instance there was this girl, fairly attractive and for some reason she was interested in me. I didn't ask why but apparently she was. She was a big party goer, constantly going to the city, AC, etc. going to all sorts of events. When my buddy asked why I wasn't trying to get with this girl, he was shocked for me to say that I found her boring. He was going on about how often she does all these things and I simply told him, that stuff isn't really all that interesting to me. It's cool now and again, but most of it quickly bores me, and she didn't offer much in the way that DID interest me. So she was physically attractive, but to me she was just another pretty face.

    • type* not time

  • If you want an intelligent guy, then no it's not a waste.

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    • It seems to give you no edge, though. Intelligent guys still prefer the better looking girl, so you're competing with such a huge pool for a smaller selection of guys.

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    • I agree about wealth - I don't filter guys out by riches. But many intelligent men land good jobs, which puts them in the crosshairs for the "pro wives" as I like to call the girls who dedicate most of their energy to appearance. Haha.

    • 'Pro wives'. Haha. That's a good one. Yeah, I agree.

What Girls Said 6

  • Every guy is different. But most studies show that men value the attractiveness of a woman over any other qualities that she may have.

    www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...omen-social-status.html

    So if your goal is to find a man, scientifically you best bet is simply to be pretty and have an attractive body.

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    • I agree. The competition for smart guys is tough, too!

  • Lmao, it TOTALLY is. I've learned this the hard way. Being hot matters the most for females. Anything else can be considered a perk. So your intelligence is "nice" if it's there, but definitely not essential.

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    • My advice to you is...get hot lol.

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    • Meh. It's not worth it. I prefer harmony first and relationships second.

    • Good for you.

  • NoI don't think so. I know when I get married I'd like to have debates, intelligent conversation on anything with my husband. On things that interest him, on areas of topics that I have knowledge on and those which interest me. Teach each other skills, etc so no I don't think it is a waste.

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  • Intelligence is not a waste, but a virtue.
    Not many women are intelligent.
    You should use your gift to figure out what kind of man you're dating and if he is what you really want.
    Just like there are guys that love skinny or chubby, short or tall, boobs or ass, there are guys that love intelligent women.
    Just be yourself so the right guy can see you and fall for who you really are, no matter your gifts or flaws.

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  • Don't think about it that way. There are guys out there who value intelligence. Generally Christian guys of integrity value intelligence because they aren't after sex as the ultimate prize. Look for the right type of guy, because the ones who don't value intelligence aren't worth it. :) Hope this helps!

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    • I'm not sure appearance is about sex. It seems to be more about prestige and status for the guy.

  • RedThread likes smart chicks. XD

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