Canceled Date?

Had a date organized with this boy for over week, it was suppose to be tonight... but he text me before saying that he can't make it cause its his mates birthday meal and that he completely forgot about it.

Do I believe him or not?

We had spoken about it throughout this week and even through texting last night.

I don't understand and its really upset me as I was so excited...

He knows how much I like him too :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Believe him for now... If he does it for the next one forget about him.


What Guys Said 17

  • Just let him be for now, give him a day or two to get back in touch with you first. If he doesn't then decide if you want to contact him and ask if you want to get back in touch with him and see if he wants to meet and do something.

    • Bleh, that was supposed to be added on to my other comment.

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    • Haha... nothing.

      he said he wasn't the 'date type' person and that he isn't looking 4 a full on relationship, which neither was I like but we still talk etc, but I don't know if anything will happen at the mo!! xx

    • Thanks for the update!

  • If you are texting him all the time it could be that he feels you are getting too clingy. Unfortunately from the sound of it, it sounds like he canceled on purpose. On the other hand he didn't want to tell you that he just didn't want to do it which means he didn't want to hurt your feelings.

    I would let it sit for a day or two and then ask him if he would like to reschedule for another time.

    • Yeah... I dunno, I mean I've known him for years and like he came round to watch dvds etc, so its not if he is a new boy who I don't really know...

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    • Hmm... I c ur point...

      haha I don't think I'm really attractive tho haha!

      hmm... he as replied saying that he might b busy 2moro, but that's all x

    • Did he mean he forgot about his plans with you or that he forgot about his plans with his friend? I am not a guy, but if he likes you then it makes sense that he forgot about his plans with his friend, he was excited too...maybe the reason that he didn't try to invite you to the party is because an ex girlfriend is there, or maybe it's a no-girls night so they can flirt it up. He probably likes you, I think he deserves a second chance.

  • You know, if I were that guy, and if I liked you enough (even just as a friend) I'd be trying to invite you along to my buddy's party. Doesn't exactly matter where the date is, it's that I'd still try to spend lots of time with you.

    If that couldn't work, I'd try to do both, and explain the situation.

    I'd still try to make it up and have a special date, of course, just us two (so I'd be making a counter offer to show that I'm still interested).

    You could give him the benefit of the doubt, but be cautious. This is showing "flaky" behavior at the very least; and you don't want to date a flaky person. Yes, everyone screws up (unlikely something like his friend's birthday party would be forgotten about, but it's possible), so you trust him on this one. But, you don't rush to be with him. Keep showing interest, but don't jump through hoops.

    If he flakes again, though, forget him and move on.

  • I think far too many people are jumping the gun here.

    I forget plans all the time, and if he made plans with his mate before you, then usually that takes precedent. The thing to keep in mind is if he said sorry, and if he makes an effort to reschedule. I'm sure he is very excited to see you, that's probably why he forgot his friends party haha.

    So just sit back and wait for him to reschedule. So long as you keep up the texting, everything should be good!

  • Believe him for now. You are cute and flirty, guys like that. But if he is anything like me, I forget junk all the time.

  • If he made a date with you he is supposed to keep it. If he forgot his mate's birthday meal, he should have asked you if it is ok to reschedule and should have suggested new dates. It shows immaturity.

    Also, it shows that you need to have a busier calendar. Not necessarily dates, but things with your friends, family etc. He must have felt that you are so eager and have so much free time that he can get a date with you any time. As you know, anything that can be had easily has less value.

    So, don't ask him about it or ask him out. If he asks you out, do not agree to the first suggestion. Say that you have something planned that time but ask for an alternate. When he suggests, tell him that most probably that date is fine but you will confirm him if he could call and check in after a day. This way he would know that you are busy and your time is valuable.

    In any case this incident tells a lot about his character and you should remember that.

  • I don't think he was lying sounds like to bad of an excuse to have made up...If it was me and I was lying I would have came up with a better excuse than that I would say it was true and you should just try to set something else up good luck!

  • I'd say it's a simple case of him forgetting a prearranged event. Plain and simple, guys forget... a lot. Dates and events don't really stand out to us that easily. You're looking into this wayyy to deeply. Forgive and forget, rearrange a new date, and if he does the same thing, then you will have reason to question, but for now, let it go. It's almost selfish to think that he has to do everything for you and give his life to you, he has other friends that he had before you two started seeing each other, he can't just give them up as well. Give him some space and things should right themselves.

    • True but it shows how unreliable he can be if he continue this behavior towards her :/

    • Yeah. IF he continues. Do you instantly give someone up if they messed up ONCE. That's preposterous. Yeah, he has to be held accountable, BUT if it's his first time, it's honestly not that bad.

  • Since he says he completely forgot, that's a bad sign. It's pretty rude for him to have said that and shows his seriousness. I'd say he's an idiot for canceling at the last minute.

    • How come it is a bad sign? xx

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    • It happens my best friends graduation party was last Saturday didn't remember till the next day....I was out all night that Friday and then went home and fell asleep forgetting I had his graduation party to go to later....I really wanted to be there but 4got I don't think it makes me a bad friend..he could have just been excited to set up this date that he wasn't thinking ab

    • About the fact he was already busy that day....

  • it's the canceller's job to reschedule. guess you'll find out when he does/doesn't call

  • sometimes guys backout because they like you so much and this boy already has a built up view of you, in his own mind that he probably doesn't want to share with you or not yet. And he feels he will let you down and disappoint you about himself. To say he completely forgot about it, his date to you, is saying he is not ready, not that he is not ready for you. You "must" be a very pretty girl...

  • If he even forgets you at all, that means you are not important to him. You were excited about this date all week, and it was impossible for you to forget. How could he forget? He does not care. He obviously has no excitement about dating you. Forget him now. It's already a bad sign.

  • Believe him for now. Make plans for another date, and if he cancels it, then something's wrong here.

  • It's possible, but I'd say he's lying.

    • Meaning he probably doesn't like me? or want2 date me? :S x

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    • Okay. Normally I'd answer, but I know I won't get best answer for telling the truth.. so here it is in a comment..

      What happened was, he forgot about his friends' birthday meal. Don't look into it any further. Curiosity killed the cat. And in the same aspect, it will kill a relationship via making you look to clingy and such.

      Just relax. Over looking into every little thing doesn't help your appearance. You're going to just have to trust me on this one.

    • Even if he was lying, you're better off not knowing. The truth, if it is a lie, will probably just ruin your confidence. And besides, say you do somehow find out it is a lie.. it doesn't mean he doesn't like you.. He could've just been too nervous to go on the date.. The possibilities are endless. That's why you're better off not even thinking about it. Just reschedule and move on.

      It's better for you, him and the whole relationship. You're going to have to just trust me on this one.

  • he's a f***ing lier. slip something in his drink then harvest his kidney. spleens are going for a lot nowadays too.

  • Hello. To answer your question, it all depends right?

    Does he always do that when you two make plans?

    Or is it like "one in a 30 times"?

    If this is your first time dating with him then I suggest you to forget about it and ask for another date.

    He probably wanted to go too but the fact that it was an urgent birthday party, he couldn't go.

    He's life is not all about you. He needs friend too.

    If he missed the birthday party and go to a date with you, his friends would probably get p*ssed or something.

    So, if its first time then forget about it, make another date.

    IF he did this almost constant, then yeah, his making excuse.

    • Hmm... its a first proper date, he has come round to watch dvds at mine b4, but nothing proper like this was going to be... he said he was skint thou 2... I don't understand!

      i text back and he didn't reply, still hasnt... even after a few attempts

What Girls Said 1

  • I will make this simple. He is not that interested in you. It doesn't matter that he knows you like him too. Unfortunately he is not that in to you. A guy who is wouldn't be so wishy washy, saying he needs to get to know you when the two of you have known each other for a while. A guy who sees you as a potential romantic partner would be beating down your door for this date. Also, don't text him anymore. You will not get him to admit that he isn't that in to you. No guy wants to say something like that. They just do things like cancel dates, don't answer texts, don't pursue you, etc.