Why is rejection so terrifying? Whats the best way to tell a guy how you feel?

I have posted stories her about what I should say to this guy. I have decided that I need to just tell him how I feel. I know what I want to say but the fear of rejection is so great that I can't work up the courage to tell him.

What is the best way to tell him how I feel? I want to do it in a way that is not desperate but at the same time he will see how I feel for him.

Updates:
Just saw him and I knew what I wanted to say but I was too scared. I will just have to wait again until I see him next week :( I just need to courage to tell him how I feel!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Instead of writing all these things on this website, you should be telling him! That's a tricky situation and you can't let an outsider's opinion influence your choices because it might not be the best once since you're the one who knows best about this situation. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel about it all. You can't keep beating yourself up, wondering if he's still into you or not. You need to find it out from him and I know it's easier said than done but you can't expect to work things out without communication.

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    • You are 100% right. I guess it is easier writing stuff here. I guess I just want ideas as it is scary thought telling him and I fear rejection. I guess I just use this website to vent!

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    • Thanks for your input! I saw him today and while I couldn't say exactly how I feel I did say that I like spending talking to him and hope we can continue chatting at work! Hopefully if we can start having conversations I will feel more comfortable and then I can tell him!

    • Thanks for MH and I wish the best to you!

What Guys Said 7

  • I think that when we see a beautiful person, and we are drawn to them, we instantly form emotional attachments to them.

    Right away, can come things that give us hope for a future with them.

    "She is SO hot, man I bet the sex would be amazing!"

    "He is so HOT! I want to have his babies, I bet he'd be a great father!"

    Etc

    So when, and if, we are rejected, all of those hopes, desires, and delusions can be utterly shattered. SO much so that it is like our entire world (Even though it is propped up on irrational emotion) has ended.

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  • the best way to get a boys attention is to give him big smiles and say hi
    be nice to him just standing close and talking is another good way the inpersonal hip bump works or if you can putting your hands on them 'anywhere' will help. but the truth is if you have to go to far to try to get there attention they arnt the kind of person you really want because you will both be too different in the long run. the people who you will fall in love with may not always love you back and the simple reason is they just arnt your type. the ones who are your type will notice you! so just try to relax and have fun like they all are just good friends and it will all work out for the best k :D

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  • It's really not that big of a deal.

    Just do it and quit stringing him along.

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    • We have dated but I can't tell if he likes me so it makes it more terrifying!

  • Rejection is only as terrifying as you make it. I get rejected a lot, it doesn't faze me anymore. It's just what happens! You just have to deal with it like a mature and sensible adult.

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    • I agree, I think it just hurts when you really like the person!

    • Rejection isn't nice, I was rejected recently and yeah for the rest of the day I felt like dog excrement, but you know what? I'm over it, and ready to move on with life. Nobody likes rejection, but it's a fact of life, everyone faces rejection, but it how you deal with rejection that is the measure of the person.

      If a girl rejects me, I don't ignore her, I don't act awkward around her, I just let it blow over and act like nothing has happened.

  • Guy only only wanted what was inside the pants. Not worth it.

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  • rejection is hard cuz it's heart breaking and crushes your self esteem and confidence.

    now you know what us guys go through when we want to ask a girl out.

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  • People tend to forget sex is not love, nor everything (or majority part) about love is sex. He wanted you for sex, that's not real love to me. Get over him. Whatever you do is your choice, since it's your life.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think you should just woman up and for what you want! Sounds like you wanna go further relationship wise so tell him hey I really appreciate your understanding of me and what happened the other night I find you very interesting and would like to
    Still keep in touch with you outside of work but of course I would like for us to take things slow sexual wise

    To keep sex out of the equation eliminate house visits they never work out when it comes to avoiding sex always keep relations in public if your wanting to take things slow

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    • I guess the fear of rejection is just too great! But I think I do need to tell him!

    • You only have one life just go for it! Whats the worse to happen him be like almost every other guy on this earth with no values and say that he only wants sex? Go for it cause if you dont you'll always have to only wonder the possible outcomes had you went and simply told him How you felt

  • i know exactly how you feel especially because you've dated this guy before. me and my ex were broken up for two years but got back together a couple weeks ago because i told him how i felt. i told my ex but now boyfriend that i regret what happened in the past, that i missed our relationship because he's the one person that I've ever told everything to and then asked him to go to the movies & out to eat. just a basic date. ever since we've been together. at first i didn't know if he only saw me as a friend or something more. but if you are that nervous about it just ask if you can hang out & catch up and see if you feel like there's anything there. whether you think there is or not ask him to see you again and them maybe you could tell him how you feel. you never know if you don't try.

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  • I don't think he deserves you. He only wants to get inside your pants. you should move on :)) good luck tomorrow

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    • A part of me agrees with you 100% but when we were dating it didn't feel like that. I just wish I could stop my feelings for him as it would be so much easier!

    • girl I get you! everything would be so much easier if we can just stop our feelings! I have to same problem your not alone

    • It sucks right! If he just avoided me and I didn't catch him staring it would be so much easier. I hope everything is ok with you!

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