How do I explain to my girlfriend that I don't wish to talk on the phone every night?

Lemme start out by saying I love my girlfriend a ton. She is very important to me and and I care about her and what she has to say and I never ignore her or anything like that.

We're in college together and because it's summer we're about an hour away from eachother so we only see eachother maybe once a week now, she's developed this habit of calling me every late night and talking on the phone for several hours. The thing is... its more like silence on the phone for 3 hours because I don't know what the heck to even talk about anymore and its just like... I dunno.

I stay up very late doing stupid things, Reddit and video games mostly or applying for jobs all around my area and personally I like this. I don't get very much alone time during the day so I do most of it at night.

I wouldn't mind talking to her now and then at night but at this point neither of us know what to talk about and we're just on the phone in silence.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude just tell her XD I wouldn't want to talk to someone every night either. "Me" time is always important.

    Just tell her you have stuff you'd like to do and that you'll talk to her some other night. Better yet, you guys should make a schedule since you rarely see each other (honestly once a week is more than enough for me but I'm not sure about her). a lot of people thinks making a schedule turns the relationship into a chore or a job and that nothing is exciting anymore, but I think it's convenient. I'm sure she'll understand. Just choose your words wisely if she's one of those girls who like to over analyze things.

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What Girls Said 7

  • When she calls, say:
    "I'm so glad you called, really love talking to you. I also need to do a couple other things so I can only talk for about an hour [or whatever time you can give her]"

    Then when time's up, say:
    "I have to go now but [something nice (and honest!) about the call or her like: it was fun hearing about your dog/it was nice hearing your voice/etc.]. Talk to you soon! [or however you would say goodbye]"

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  • That's very cute. Here's the the thing. You gotta be straight forward. Just tell her but make sure it doesn't sound harsh. If you try and lie to her, or give her some poor excuse, she's going to be pissed. So say something like "look I love you but I feel like us talking every night is is making us run out of things to talk about." And see what she says. It's not like you're breaking up with her.

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  • Think of things to ask her/say or look up questions online/ talk about your day/

    I actually have the same problem with my Bf and I honestly just make up excuses like "I'm waking up early in the morning" or I avoid the calls and the next day I'm like "oh I didn't know you called! I lost my phone last night" you know?

    But still make time for her. Please don't avoid her completely I made a schedule with my Bf "I can't talk tonight but can we talk tomorrow night" that way I know that I have to set aside time for him instead of sitting on the computer all night lol

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  • Tell her you have to do other things that are important.

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  • Literally just tell her the truth, that you love her but can't deal with the constant phone calls.. even if you replace the phone call for texting.. so you're still talking but its not as constant and you're able to have the "me time" that you want :)

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  • Just tell her.

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  • Just cut down the length of the conversations.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just let her do all the talking bro and just listen lol! but I feel ya I am really awkward on the phone and don't know what to say it is hard to talk to someone for me without looking at them I don't know why and it's already hard enough for me to talk to someone on the phone that I love let alone doing it to someone I don't. You could nicely ask her could you just call me less?

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  • you just tell her, give her the truth as to why you dont. and hope that she complies. if she doesnt, you need to ask her why she doesn't and if she b.s.'s you, you need to move on

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  • Tell her that you need time to miss her, time to live your life so that when you are on the phone you have something to talk about.

    And don't be a wuss about telling her this. You don't increase your chances of success in a relationship by throwing more of yourself into it.

    You have to life your life, outside of the phone calls you make.

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