Will I ever have a chance with her?

We have been friends for about 2 years and I fell for her not long after we met. I have no idea if she feels anything for me as the signals are so mixed. one day she's really friendly whereas others she will avoid contact with me and have short answers.

She will always tease and make fun of me. I feel that being a quiet chap lets me down as there can be awkward silences between us at times

I'm to nervous to admit my feelings as if it back fires people will find out which will be embarrassing.

What to do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been in exactly this situation before. And you won't like what I have to say.

    You have to come clean with her about your feelings. It's going to tough. You will may well lose her friendship. Maybe even some of your friends. But you have to do it.

    Why? Because if you don't, it's going to eat you up inside. Everyday. And it'll eat you up more, when she goes out with someone else.

    I understand the fear, the hesitation. But if you have to man up and do it.

    Plan a special evening one day. Take her out. And when you get a chance, tell her you have something important to discuss. Ask her to listen before she says anything. And then lay out your case. Be sure to remind her that you care about her and that your friendship isn't conditional on her feelings towards you.

    My story. Close friend for 17 years (since grade school). Liked her on and off. Eventually single at 30. I was utterly scared to do it. But her own brother thought I was a great guy and pushed me to do it. I did. She shot me down hard. Said it would never happen because she just didn't think of me that way. Some drama followed. She cut me off forever (though her brother still talks to me). That hurt.

    But honestly, I learned several things from that experience. I am glad I asked. I would have spent a lifetime wondering, "what if?" And I wouldn't have moved on to pursue other women with her in my head. I also learned that I deserved better. Took time to get the idea that I could do better. And eventually I did do substantially better. My fiancee is the most beautiful woman I've ever had a crush on, asked out, or dated. My fiancee is also the most intelligent woman I've ever been with. Not to mention, kind, funny, loyal, etc. I would have missed out on all that if I had been stuck on that other girl.

    SO just do it. Be honest with her. Maybe she'll like you back. Maybe she won't. Either way, you'll have closure.


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What Girls Said 4

  • I was very good friends with my boyfriend for 3 years before we started dating. I suggested we go out to dinner one night, and everything happened from there :) Maybe ask her out to dinner or a movie? Maybe the signs of her feelings will become more obvious when it's one-on-one time. Good luck!

  • Ask her out, you will be just fine. Trust me.

  • Why don't you let her know how you feel, it's been two years, she probably just feels like you're her friend..but who knows. Ask her.

  • Just tell her and if she freaks out then she was never a good friend


What Guys Said 1

  • You went 2 years without asking her out? You're firmly in the friend zone.