How can I overcome this fear of stop being shy and be more of outspoken person!?

Over the past two half years of me being in high school and my crush which graduated this year we've gotten close and we've known each other since we were kids, but he really had given me a lot mixed signals I went on a first date with him a couple months ago but the main problem is my shyness is getting in the way and keeping me from wanting to talk to him and I want to talk to him so bad just don't know what to say, how can get over being shy and quiet around him I really like him and don't want to screw this up.why because at his graduation party I left because his ex was around I was uncomfortable and he told my mom that I wasn't very sociable! could that mean something?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Practice, Practice, Practice. It will be super uncomfortable at first to go out of your way to say hi to people or to strike up a conversation with them. After a while, it will become second nature to do this but will take time and practice.

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What Guys Said 1

  • From an earlier post:

    People who are shy are shy because they worry FAR too much about what other people think about them.

    Every person has a handful of people who really matter in their lives, whether that's parents or teachers or mentors or "examples" they aspire to be like. THOSE are the people who you should care about how they think about you.

    Everyone else? Pretend they are 3-year-olds, and stop caring what they think. 99% of them won't even make it to the status of ACQUAINTANCE with you, so why care what they think of you? Why put yourself through all that stress? For what?

    No matter what you do, a few people are always going to dislike/hate you. That's life, so deal with it. Others are going to like you, and a huge number of people won't have any feelings either way. That's totally okay - you don't need to make the whole world like you.

    And think about the "coolest" people you've known: have any of them cared what ANYONE thinks of them, or what they say or do? I doubt it. That's what makes them confident and attractive. They're even willing to be foolish and get laughed at sometimes, and not care - that's their strength.

    Finally, remember this: most people feel just as lost, out of place, and behind the curve as you feel in college, even if they don't show it. They aren't better than you, so stop comparing yourself to them. Learn to compare yourself to YOU, and your own potential, and quit worrying about anyone else.
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    All of the above applies to this situation, except you have a reason to care what this guy thinks. IMO, you need to START by telling him that you are very shy until you get to know someone and that's why you were "unsociable" before. People often misinterpret "shy" behavior as disinterest or even condescension, so if you can't be outgoing, you at least need to let people know that you are SHY, not unsociable, so they can understand your actions better, and help compensate by being more outgoing themselves.

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