Why are women always telling me I'm unattractive?

Why are women always telling me I'm unattractive? Don't they realize my looks are genetic and not my fault


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It could be the way you dress, act, smell, etc. I wouldn't know because I never met you. That being said, look at yourself in the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? Do you think your cute, irresistible, charming, etc? What type of person are you? What type of person are you trying to be?

    Answering these questions will direct your understanding of this question and will help you to improve in areas you need help in. First start with hygiene, guys that smell of clean laundry, have clean, groomed hair, has a nice smile, clean fingers (YES! fingers are very important!), etc. are always attractive and that's what I look for.

    Secondly, shop for clothes that make YOU feel and look good. You don't have to follow the latest trends. The thing I like to keep in mind and what works is, dress up everyday as if you wanted to impress someone, ALWAYS try to look your finest because you never know who you will walk into.

    and lastly, it;s all about the confidence and air of authority. Never easily give compliments and accept them, always look for placces to improve upon and believe in yourself!

    What I learned when talking to hot guys is, don't let them know you think they're hot, respect them, but make them work for it. That little chase, stimulates their want and desire for you and it keeps you from doing or saying something stupid. So think about it this way, in tv shows, they always end the show right before it gets good, which creates a area of longing and people come back for more. So keep that in mind and you'll do good ;)

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    • don't laugh at this, but recently I started to take selfies everyday, and when I looked back at those pictures and saw my smiling face, I realized that I'm not as bad looking as I made myself believe. You know people tend to judge themselves harder, that's why having confidence changes the way you look at things and the way people see you.
      I suggest you take selfies too, you don't have to post them, but its just for fun and you'll gradually see that you are an attractive man afterall :)

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    • lol! I'm not sure if I should laugh or be concerned... A guy thinking he is attractive does NOT make him arrogant... Acting cocky and thinking women are going to throw themselves at you and just drop their clothes on your command, is the definition of being arrogant.

      On the other hand, what is highly annoying is the fact that you put yourself down without even trying. It's actually quite pathetic. Start acting like a man, own yourself, if YOU don't believe in yourself who will?

      This maybe to harsh for you, but I gotta keep it blunt. No one can help you, if you don't believe in yourself. Only YOU can make the changes that you want. No amount of comments on this forum, whether good or bad, will ever make you feel better about yourself or change the fact about how you look or feel.

    • Women hate me so of course I'm going to put myself down

What Girls Said 13

  • "Unattractive" doesn't have to simply mean looks... I will often use it to describe other aspects of a person, such as "He has an attractive personality" or "his voice is so attractive!"

    So it doesn't necessarily mean that they are calling you ugly... personally, I would never tell someone "I think you are unattractive" only talking about his looks, that is just rude. If a guy is being an asshole, I might tell him that his behavior is unattractive, because his behavior is something he can change.

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    • To be honest with you I looked at myself in the Window in the mall and I saw how unattractive I really am so if I see myself this way then of course others do

    • a lot of people think they are unattractive. You could try working on your confidence! Or if there are things you don't like about your appearance, you can try to change it! Sometimes just a small change helps, like styling your hair differently.

    • Oh yeah that's so easy

  • We women can be just as shallow as men. No, not all men or women are this way, but a fair amount of people want to be attracted to the person their dating. I'm one such person...

    Yes, your looks are genetic, but it doesn't matter. Maximize your possible attractiveness through physical activity & weight training. I don't mean that in a rude way, but it's real. I had to loose weight to actually get into the dating game, so I'm not just saying it. It works...

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  • Fact of the matter is, girls are mainly shallow. When they're done fooling around and able to focus on something deeper than looks you might have a better chance. To me, yes I do not find you attractive. But that's not solely because of weight or looks! You're unconfident. I've seen plenty of chubby guys at my school who honestly I've had crushes on. They were so confident and they knew how to treat a woman. Work on being you by yourself first, then you can focus on finding someone who likes you for that not just appearance.

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    • There's that word "shallow" again. You might be interested in a question I asked.
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1036560-thoughts-on-the-use-of-the-word-shallow-as-it-relates-to-physical

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    • Yo bc1001 I wasn't yelling at you haha I was telling laker fan not to ask for advice if he was going to take the harshest comment and only accept that as reality

    • @italianrose why do you start out having my back like in your first comment then you turn on me?

  • Honestly they probably find you unattractive. Yes, looks are mostly genetic. but most hollywood superstars wouldn't look like that without a little help. You can make the most of it by getting a really great body, which will help your look game a ton, and it would thin out your face and stuff. Also having a great personality helps. Try to be funny and cool, and confidence is one of the most attractive features of a guy. Try to be cool and talk about interesting things and be chill and have good conversations, also be able to make the girls laugh. No offense on any of this, just trying to help.

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  • Why do you think?
    Find a girl who isn't so shallow shed say it out loud

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  • maybe you need to put in more of an effort like work out and get a new wardrobe and a new cologne

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  • Probably, because they think you just are... Some girls are shallow, but you will find someone who finds you attractive.

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    • See my comment to karamelsutra above.

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    • Yeah keep telling yourself that.

    • HAHAHA whatever ya say. @BC1001

  • Why do you keep on telling people the same thing ( To be honest with you I looked at myself in the Window in the mall and I saw how unattractive I really am so if I see myself this way then of course others do)

    Anyways. U will find someone who likes u for you , good luck

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    • Because I wanted to tell the people on the thread the same thing so I pasted and copied it instead of typing it a bunch of times

    • Dont necessarily agree with that because everyone is their own worst critic at times. People will see things in you that you will not see because your mind is set a certain way. Have faith in yourself

  • Oh my God. How do you always manage to show up on my feed?

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  • Because to them, you are.

    You just gotta focus on what you can do to minimize that. Like, lose weight.

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  • it might be due to your approach to them

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  • They are drunk?

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  • Because you approached all the stupid girls and you should never listen to them. You will find a beautiful girl who would love you no matter what :)

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    • And I don't even care if my future gf is pretty I just want a companion in this lonely life of mine

    • Don't worry! And don't be so negative because of a bunch of shallow girls, you will find one.

What Guys Said 7

  • Well, your appearance might not be your fault. It might be genetic. However, the fact that it might be genetic doesn't negate the fact that you might still be perceived as unattractive.

    Now, THChowder and others have expressed their honest opinion. However, virtually ALL OF THEM said it's your weight, which in most cases is not genetic. Isn't this good news to you? You have the power to do something about it! Wouldn't it be worth it?

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    • You're wrong because when I was thin a lot of people found me attractive

    • This actually proves my point. If a lot of people found you attractive when you were thin, then this is something you can control. You can lose weight. It's difficult, but it can be done. Don't you want a lot of people to find you attractive again?

  • Most people who are unattractive are because they are so fat!

    People always marvel at how hot Russians are; the difference between a Russian woman and an American woman is 40 pounds!

    You weigh, what 18 Stone? You are unattractive based on your weight.

    Get fit!

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  • those woman probably do find you unattractive.
    And they probably say it because you ask them.
    Just ask the ones that give you a hint they possibly like you and ask them what they think:)
    I never ask people if I'm attractive because i get upset to easy and for to long if I get told what I don't want to here, why bother! :)

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    • How Can I Tell If THEY Like me

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    • It's her right to voice her opinion. It's up to you whether you're going to let it affect you or not. I've been told I was unattractive by so many guys in high school, even my own sister joined in and told me I was fat. I just didn't let it get to me. I weigh more now than I weighed then, but I have a lot of muscle mass now. I got healthy for me. Try working out but not for others. Do it for yourself and you'll gain confidence

    • I don't know who your opinion is directed to but as you replied to my post I assume it me.
      I go gym every morning im on a vegan diet And run every night, that still don't change a persons looks though:)

  • Because its all about looks in the dating game. People want to be politically correct so that's why they will say that confidence and personality only matters but that's just a lie. LOOKS MATTER to EVERONE. For instance, when you approach a woman what is she going to base her decision to accept you on? LOOKS.

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    • You're so right. To be honest with you I looked at myself in the Window in the mall and I saw how unattractive I really am so if I see myself this way then of course others do

  • bro stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. you can start by getting fit and starting to dress sharp. Those 2 things alone will start to help you build confidence slowly. Its not an overnight thing. It won't be easy but if you want it then you have to go get it

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  • It's about confidence, girls don't care about looks that much

    They date guys they like

    I'm attractive as hell but girls don't throw themselves at me, I get lots of compliments

    But lots of girls r still dating some ugly dudes

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    • LOL sorry I disagree with the last part I'm so ugly I've made babies cry and I'm still single.
      '

    • Sounds like it's u, not ur looks

      I've seen guys that looked like rats with different girls

      Some ugly guys r passive aggressive, this maybe?

  • Women are shallow and superficial and no matter how much they tell you, there not their lying.

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