I want to avoid hurting any feelings here, how can I help my friend out without hurting her?

My friend is not so good looking, but she thinks she so much more attractive than she really is. She's really nice and has a great personality but she's not attractive.

She has a crush on the most popular guy at my school, and she plans on telling him soon. Problem is, I know he doesn't like her back. In fact, he hates her. How can I tell her that it's not such a good idea without hurting her? I don't want to lie, but I don't wanna be blunt or rude either.

Updates:
Ok, ok, everyone seems to think I'm some sort of monster. I'm not saying that I'm attractive, I'm trying to help her because 13 year old boys are so mean, and especially this one particular boy doesn't like her because her looks aren't the best.
Of course I'm supporting her no matter what!! She's my best friend! And I would never ever tell her she's *ugly* or anything, because frankly, she's not.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Janiel, you have absolutely no right to judge whether someone is a "catch" or not. Why do you seem to feel that it is necessary to make her think she is unattractive? (even if she is). Do you want her for the rest of her life to consider her looks before approaching a guy, and only go for guys that YOU feel she looks good enough for? I'm guessing that you think you are pretty on the outside, and perhaps you are, but your personality could take a few lessons from this nice unattractive friend. Somehow, I think she is WAY more attractive than you are portraying her.

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    • No, listen here, I love her, I think she's beautiful!! But I know that immature 13 year old boys do not, so I only want to help her not be hurt here. I'm not doing anything to be mean or hurtful.

    • And I'm telling her to go for it anyway, because any boy that doesn't like her isn't good enough for her.

What Guys Said 4

  • You don't do anything. You let her do her thing and if she gets burned she gets burned. Lesson learned.

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  • I agree with Noblesse. She'll hate you if you tell her. Then she'll chicken out and blame it on you. Unfortunately, she sounds deluded and vain. YOU can't cure that. Only her own experience can cure that.

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    • Oh she's not vain, she's just.. Not aware that she's not a catch? If that makes any sense. No ones ever told her that she's not attractive. But thanks anyway :)

  • Don't say anything. You'll probably make her hate you. Just let her flame out and be there for her after.

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  • well aren't you a catch -_-

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you think he's a mean guy, tell her that you think she could do better, but leave it up to her to decide whether she'll still tell him or not, and be a good friend/shoulder to cry on if it goes poorly.

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  • This is horrible. Why do you want to tell her she's unattractive and he will never go for her. It's childish drama. Tell your friend to be confident and go for what she wants, not make her limit herself by telling her she's unattractive. If she gets rejected, be there for her and make her feel better not worse thats what a real friend would do. You can't not hurt her feelings.

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    • No! What I'm trying to do is spare her feelings! 13 year old boys are rude, mean, stupid people, this one in particular. And I don't want her to tell him, him say no, and her be devastated. Maybe it's not so much the looks, personally, I think she's beautiful!! But i know that 13 year old boys won't think she's beautiful. All they see is the looks. I'm not trying to be mean. In the end, I don't think I'm gonna say anything.

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    • Thank you for being polite. I'll do just that. :)

    • Alright love. x

  • Don't say a word. She'll have to figure that one out on her own. Also, you're not the judge of what everyone finds attractive, maybe she thinks the same of you? Either way, don't put your best friend down, ever.

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    • I know she thinks the same as me, and of course, of course I would never ever say that to her, that's why I was asking on how to tell her without hurting feelings.

    • And I know EVERYONE won't find her unattractive, but I know for a fact this particular boy does.

    • There really is no way to say that without hurting her feelings. I would just not, best thing you can do is be there for her when the dude hurts her feelings. But let him be the messenger that gets shot.

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