Tendency to seek love from girlfriend or boyfriend comes from lack of receiving enough love?

Do you think it's true that usually people who are clingy to their partners or tend to demand more love or attention grew up receiving not enough love and care from their parents?
Like children who were raised by their moms or dads only would more likely replace the insufficient love they didn't receive from their parents with their partner's attention?
I heard that girls who grew up without fathers tend to feel lonely more often.
I grew up in an environment where my parents didn't really care about me. They eventually divorced and I was raised by my mom for 2 years then my dad took me over and I've lived with my stepmom until now. I barely received mom's love in my life and I guess that's what makes me fall in love so quickly and become passionate when it comes to a relationship.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Growing up my mama loved me with all her heart. My daddy went to jail from 6-13. When he got out he showed me as much love as you could show a stranger. My mama remarried. He's a pervert. The only love I ever got from a man was the wrong kind of love so i look for the "right" kind in men and I haven't found it yet.

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    • You miss dad's love.

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    • Yeah. That's really sad. I'm sure that's why. I hope you learn to work through all of that.

    • Thank you!

What Girls Said 5

  • I think so yes. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was never at home, would cause domestic disputes when he was home and would then try to buy my sister and I to his side against my mother who had never done anything wrong, and drop us when we were no longer convenient to his argument.

    I crave male attention now. pathetically so, all I want is a boyfriend who will give me the attention I never got. I might never look at a guy twice but the second he expresses interest ion me all of a sudden I'm mad about him. I then get dropped or never get a call back or something and I'm crushed and feel hopeless and like no one will ever want me. But I also have high standards about stability and commitment and ambition because I'm terrified that I'll end up with someone like my father.

    The thing that annoys me most now is that my father has only become interested in having a relationship with me in the last two years and parades my success in life as a testament to his 'good parenting', when if anything I would be even more successful if I had had his support instead of having to clean up his messes

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    • Before you read my post, did you already assume that your seek of attention from a guy came from your dad's carelessness in your childhood?

    • Yes, I realised it through counselling. 'Daddy issues' has been mentioned to me a few times. And my sister also acknowledges the same thing for her.

  • Yep, that's me. I grew up with only my mum, but I don't feel lonely. The problem is that deep inside I know I'm denying the fact.

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    • Do you fall in love quickly and easily?

    • Yep. I still go to High School, and I had a crush for this guy for 3 years, and I never spoke to him. And at the beginning of this year I fell for another guy and now I can't get over him. It really sucks though. Sorry i just told my whole life story cx

  • Yes, it affect a lot. If the person doesn't receive much love from their parents in their childhood. I think that person will be a strong but somewhat lonely. I think they wouldn't open up and talk and express about their feeling easily as a person who receive lots of love and attention from their parents.

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  • Yes definitely. There are also people who are generally more needy.

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  • yes in some way i believe it would affect/influence one's personality

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What Guys Said 3

  • Parents have a lot to answer for. They create the hang-ups in us that we are still struggling to deal with long after they are gone. The sooner we are able to re-program our minds with better information, the better. Sadly, when I try to give my kids upgrades, now that I am wiser, they cling to the bullshit I gave them when I was a young and stupid parent.

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  • I think there may be something to this, yeah.

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  • I think eating sweets and chocolate is also a substitute for people craving love.

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    • Why do you think so?

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    • I really love chocolate and sweets. I'd like to hear your explanation. Your experience?

    • Its very simple. If your partner or usual source of love is showering you with affection you will find you have a diminished need for sweet things. The converse in my theory is true. Obviously, the effects of eating sweet things is visible. Our bodies are the picture of our mind. Therefore people who are putting on weight are usually over-indulging in the eating of sweet things because they are being deprived of the necessary affection that we all crave. I sit outside sweet shops or food stores who are known for using added sugar, and I see larger people, and I conclude they are being deprived of love. Perhaps you will need to do your own checking before you accept what I am saying.

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