What do you think of this theory as to why male female friendships are so complicated?

Here is a link to a question that was asked earlier today.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1038663-friends-first-or-lovers-first

In it a majority of women state they are in or would prefer a relationship to start out as friends.

After seeing countless questions on here where a woman instead of asking a guy out tries to becoming friends instead. In the hopes that being around and giving off clues will spark him to ask her out.

Now how many women feel that a man has pretended to be a friend only to try to work into a relationship. Horrible isn't it.

Now ask how many of these guys are confused. His last girlfriend may have used this approach, now he has a woman who is becoming his friend , only to discover after confessing his feelings that she is appalled. Friends means friends.

Now if you want to be friends first instead of dating, you shouldn't be shocked when a friend you are not interested in asks you out.

I'm not saying this is only a one way street. But if you want to be friends before a relationship begins than you should expect to have a few male friends other than the one you like ask you out in the process.
This is partly why I think opposite sex friendships don't work.

Thoughts? I'm sure this will be a heated topic but it seems to me to be part of the problem.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly, women rarely know what the fuck they want. The bottom line is that if a girl is attracted to you, you can pretty much do whatever you want. If you play the friend game, she'll bide the time till you make your move. If you start out asking her out, she'll go out with you.

    That's why it's still a good tactic for guys to not be friends with girls they want to date. Then they can figure out sooner if the girl's into him or not and move on if she isn't.

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    • True, 3 out 4 of my relationships started out as friends, I honestly had no interest in them in the begging. It was only after they were always around that I really began to like them. I think its a horrible way myself if you want to date a woman from the get go. I had a coworker who just started to always be around , asking questions, flirting, being playful, all the things this 3 ex's did when they wanted me to ask them out. I wasn't interested in dating her she wasn't my type. But around month 6 I had fallen head over heels for her. She was hurt and upset that as a friend I asked her out. I was crushed. But her previous boyfriend started out the same way.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think people confuse "friendly acquaintance" with actual friend sometimes.

    But there are guys who are actually friends with women and guys who just pretend because they want laid (but generally say they want a relationship).

    I'm guessing the pretenders don't socialize with females as naturally as the ones who just end up with female friends, which perhaps gives them a disadvantage to start with. It seems like a lot of the confused guys are in tech fields and may have a different social pattern than the guys who naturally become friends with girls.

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    • That's were I was going with this there are women who just like the guy so they work in as his friend and there are women who are actually friends. It actually works both ways. I had never considered the part of women doing this until I read a question on why women never ask guys out, a lot said they were to scared so they maneuver close in the hopes that he develops feelings. So some women who are attracted to a man become friends in the hope he takes notice. So is it any wonder that a guy will misjudge this sometimes and then be demonized as being fake.

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    • True. I just thought it was funny that so many women on here have called a male friend who wanted more a wolf in sheep's clothing, but yet actively become friends with another male in the hopes that he takes notice and it moves beyond friendship.

    • Lots of girls are bad at dating, too. Only this site suggests they're all knee deep in attention from attractive men!

What Guys Said 1

  • they like gay males apparently

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