How can I overcome my extreme shyness with women I like?

I want to be able to have flirt and have fun without worrying she's not interested. I think I portray a desperate vibe and I want to stop that. How do men make getting gfs look so easy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • just know that girls are thinking the same things. even the most confident ones get nervous. Just be positive and be happy about your actions, and don't worry or think about the negative consequences that could come out of it, cause most likely, they won't. And if they do, it builds you up to be stronger, so don't worry.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly, some guys are just really confident. Rejection is scary, and it can really kill an ego. I think guys just put on that "I don't care" persona and brush off every rejection they receive. I feel like they think "the worst she can say is no" ya know?

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    • No they hurt inside but they have this hang up that they can't show rejection hurts but I'd does

  • its called alcohol its liquid confidence ! hide a flask somewhere

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What Guys Said 8

  • If you worry that they're not interested, that means you're probably not very confident so you need to work on yourself and practice, practice, practice! Talking to women is a skill and just like any other skill, some people are going to naturally be good at it and others have to work at it.

    And looking desperate is definitely not a big deal. You should always show interest in a girl (just don't be clingy or smother her) and if she likes you, she will show interest back. If not, it's no big deal, just on to the next.

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    • And that's just some general advice but I'd be happy to get more specific if you'd like.

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    • So I can tell a stranger they're cute and they won't get mad

    • Nope, most of the time they'll be flattered. A few girls will act like they're creeped ou tor will just straight up ignore you but they're bitches and way more girls are nice about it. I can't even imagine a scenario where a girl would legitimately get mad at you for giving her a genuine, innocent compliment though. You can look at YouTube videos of guys doing it and see I'm right, or actually go out and try it and see for yourself.

  • You can't have meaningful relationships with women unless you yourself are well put together. I used to be excruciatingly shy, and in many ways still am. What makes men succeed with women is his ability to connect with them, but in order to do that, he must know who he is on the inside. For example, after some self discovery, I eventually discovered that my aversion to women stemmed partially from my being teased (mainly by girls) in elementary school.

    In order to grow as a person, you have to be willing to push your comfort zone and deal with your insecurities. Just remember that it's perfectly okay to be reserved, sentimental etc. When you start feeling fear or shame because of who you are, that is where the problem lies.

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    • What do you mean by well put together?

    • You should respect yourself both physically and emotionally speaking. So the cliche goes, confidence is attractive. Not confidence as in an immature, manipulative jackass but confident as in being at complete ease with oneself. Principle must come before all else. Money and status must be considered irrelevant. Never take the easy route just to spare yourself. One must hold both himself and others in the highest respect possible without sacrificing either. In short, one must strive to live a life of virtue and integrity. Think Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird if you're familiar with it.

  • you literally just have to be yourself. i know for me i used to be super shy and i had a hard time talking to women. then i just decided to be myself and it worked, for example i'm very sarcastic so i used that as my flirtation tool to talk to women and in turn made a lot of good friends, i suppose it also helps if you make your focus of talking to women or men be to be friends and not getting in their pants at first. then just wait and see if there's any chemistry.

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  • Look up Tao of badass on YouTube. Nick sparks how to hold a conversation like a man and Stephan Erdman.

    They give you loads of info on stuff without buying their programs. Imagine if you did?

    As for shyness as well. You put the girl on a pedestal and think of her highly. Say to yourself, Im better than her, i got this, she wants me. See how you feel.

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  • With a non-attractive gurl, u dont have to worry about her fallen for u but with an attractive one, u worry a lot and have doubts about it. I get where ur coming. Its hard to take control of ur emotions. Its outta cobtrol and u can't simply do anything about it but with friends around, it could boost up ur confidence and show ur buds what u can do. I know im one of those doods x)

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  • The best possible thing you can do is learn what you like about yourself and have a sense of pride in those qualities. The confidence you get from that is going to get you a ton of attention from females.

    The rest of it is being yourself. If you want to get laid learn some game. Will be easy when you are confident in yourself. Knowing what makes women tick can get you pretty far.

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    • Cocky and arrogant will have the opposite effect though so be mindful of that

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    • why man? its going to happen at some point

    • If you think I'm going to be dating in my 40s no way. That's gross

  • Dude the easiest way to solve your problem is to literally not care. Talk to women just to talk to women. You are making it harder for yourself if you are thinking "oh no what if she doesn't like me" or "oh no what am I doing wrong." Girls can sense when you are overthinking. And they will respond negatively to it. Another way to put it is just to be yourself.

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    • Thanks. I get what you are saying. But just now I was at McDonald's and there was this pretty girl and I just kept looking at the floor

  • I used to be shy, you just have to throw yourself out there.

    The more you put yourself into uncomfortable situations, the more confident and less shy you'll become.

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    • How can I when I'm a loser?

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    • They have money.

    • They don't have all that much money as they are in low skilled and low paid jobs.

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