Did I mess things up by texting too much?

I met a guy online and it started off he'd text me every day and we'd talk for hours. So we met up and it was great we laughed a lot and I thought things went well. Anyway after he backed off and didn't message as much he'd gone back to work so i knew he was busy but I kinda figured he wasn't interested.
Then we texted one evening and he was talking about meeting up again and how he wished he'd kissed me, I told him I did too. Anyway after that the texts have got less and less it only seems to be me texting him and I know he's at work a lot and very busy. So anyway I pretty much freaked out one evening and sent him 4 messages in a row, the last one asking if he still wanted to meet up or not and that I wasn't sure if he was not interested or just busy. He never answered. I really wish I'd never sent him anything I feel like a complete idiot and too clingy now I just wanted to know because I wouldn't bother him if he said no. I haven't messaged him since, is there any hope with him or should I just give up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I felt the same way/do feel the same way with my girlfriend sometimes. She lives overseas nowadays and she doesn't text me instantly in the morning - I don't wanna seem to clingy by sending her a good morning message before she talks to me.

    We have our days/moments where we don't talk for ages. We used to use up a full kik convo in less than four hours, but now it takes like two days. I don't think we're growing apart but we've kind of run out of things to talk about.

    Maybe thats what happened with him, the great amounts (not a bad thing) of talking led to a lack of new things to say
    > he didn't know what to say. But when you say that he never responded I feel bad for you :(. I dont know why he wouldn't have responded especially after saying he should've kissed you. Maybe there's a perfectly reasonably explanation - like losing his phone.

    I'm not sure, I hope for your sake he responds. I personally would not have been put off by the four messages, shows you care ;3. I can't speak for him though.

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What Guys Said 5

  • basically the ball the is in his court. I don't think you over texted, You just showed interest, that is all. It could be anything as to why he hasn't replied back. Just be patient for now. If he gets back to you, great! If not, well, these things happen, and time to move on.

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  • I think you may have came off as a bit desperate perhaps. I guess that could be it. I'd just give him some time and space. if he is into you he will reach out to you, if not you'll get your answer

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  • You shouldn't have done that 4 text thing.

    a lot of guys that do online dating just want sex. You probably wanted to get to know him better, and if he's attractive he probably has 3 other girls just waiting for him to buy them drinks til they're tipsy enough to lose their inhibitions.

    Or maybe your picture was an inaccurate representation of yourself. I met a girl from tinder once who was much bigger than I expected, and hid it well in her photos. I didn't pursue her any further after the first date

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  • He's probably just not interested, sometimes it takes a while after a first date for a guy to decide if he should go out with this girl or not. Ya you did probably interrupt that thought process with the texts. I think all of us guys can agree that being texted numerous times after a date kinda seems 'desperate' and kind of 'smothering'; like predictor of how things would be between you two. I'm sure you're a fine gal, it's just a matter of finding the right one :)

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  • Think you may have scared him off tbh, I've done a similar thing before and there's not much you can do, just learn from your mistake

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What Girls Said 4

  • It sounds as though this bird grew Cold duck feet and has quickly wandered into the murky waters from which he came from And-----Disappeared, to sort of speak. He most likely got thinking things over, and just decided he didn't want a Real Relationship.
    And by all your 'frantic' messages, he just 'backed off' even more. I don't think it was so much You, but Him, so relax. However, by 'Freaking out' he got the message that you May have been More 'Committed' than him, and this got him nervous as well. This is Why no reply.
    Don't push any more buttons for you have most likely pushed a few of His. See if he takes the initiative 'being this busy' to take the time to send you a text. If not, chalk it up as a lost cause And-----This one that went dead in the water. It's just a learning experience taught to you for future Use And-----Future guys.
    Good luck.xx

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  • I agree that 4 texts might be a little too much, but then again... it's a sign that something is off if he's not answering the first ones within a reasonable amount of time. Women hate it when guys do this... especially when you know darn well they are glued to their smart phones 90% of the time.

    Not knowing if he has any issues, my suspicion is that you are a fall back girl. He liked you, but there's somebody he likes better- who's probably not available when he does text OR lost interest in him. .I do online dating, and it's the norm to be talking to several people at once.

    My recommendation would be to forget about him. NEXT! Sometimes these guys will rubber-band back to you, at which time you need to decide if you want to go through this again. Communicate your needs clearly, but always pay more attention to what a guy does versus what he says :) Good luck!

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  • If he wants to see you he will text you. Don't send anything and see. Don't ask questions...but if he doesn't reply to you within one day move on. I have a feeling that he is not that into you now.

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  • It was a good sign he wanted to meet up again. However, being busy at work isn't really a good excuse. He will find the time for what's important to him. If he's dating online, maybe he's dating someone else online too. I could be wrong, but it's very likely.
    If he freaked out because you texted him 4 times and asked a very simple question, then he may have other issues.
    Let him make the next move.

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    • "If he freaked out because you texted him 4 times, then he may have other issues". So every girl would have other issues too I'm assuming? Just because he doesn't like aggressive texts regarding questions he doesn't want to answer, doesn't mean he has issues.

    • How do you know the texts were aggressive? They could've been "how are you" or "good morning". She didn't specify.

      His "issues" could be that he's not good at telling someone he's not interested or if a girl texts first he freaks...just a general term.

      I got the opinion it was a simple question she asked, not a desperate, crazy stalker question. She backed off...

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