Do you think this generation has created a hookup culture, or could there be another reason why guys are only interested in hooking up with me?

I consider myself girlfriend material; I'm amiable, hardworking, pretty, and fun. I haven't had a relationship for two and a half years, despite actively searching for one for the past year and a half. I've hung out with numerous guys during that time, but they all tell me that they're not looking for an exclusive relationship, and want to just hookup.They're not all the smooth talking player type either, these guys have a range of personalities.
Is my failure to find a committed relationship due to a hookup culture that many people in their early twenties are participating in, or could there be other reasons?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hook up culture? No modern generations are simply labeled with cultures but haven't created most. Summer of love wasn't just because people were happy. History books about orgies are not fiction books. With the younger generations being treated as children for longer we don't feel the panic to commit early, the media is filled with horror stories scaring men off commitment too.

    Our generations have a wider world that is easier to reach out into. We are shown the world so we don't want to settle for only those in our town. While you think you are the right material there are millions of others being advertised as such via media. We are growing lazier and more apathetic due to previous generations destroying so much then blaming us.

    Or maybe you are chasing cats when you should be chasing squirrels.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, this generation has created an instant gratification hookup culture.

    Why take the pains to get to know a woman, when you can skip to the reward, which is sex?

    Men have gotten to be lazy, pleasure seeking gluttons. Women who indulge them only seek to reinforce their negative attitudes.

    What men in this generation do not want to hear, is the fact that for every time they "Hook up" with a woman, without chasing her, without getting to know her heart is celibacy, without the sweet realization that he cannot live without her, he scars his own soul. Pretty soon women mean nothing to these men, other than a warm piece of meat.

    A player friend of mine once said he'd die to be a virgin again... Because women meant nothing to him anymore. He had a cell phone full of girl's numbers... Yet he was the loneliest guy I knew.

    My advice to you is to hold on to your convictions. Do not listen exclusively to your heart, which will deceive you, instead, listen to your instincts that tell you all about a guy the moment you set your eyes on him.

    The day when your heart, and instincts align in perfect harmony, you will know that that man will be the man you will spend the rest of your life with.

    The best way to test if a man truly loves you... Is to deny him your body. (Outside of marriage, of course. Inside of marriage you are violating your vows to him. Just saying...)

    • I agreed with you until the last part, when you said that a woman denying her husband sex is a violation of their vows. Marriage does not mean that the woman is required to have sex at her husband's command. However, I do agree that guys have gotten lazy in their pursuit of women.

    • Well, thanks for agreeing with me.

      Many marriages have been ruined because the wife feels bitterness, anger, or resentment (That may not even be his fault) towards her husband, and refuses to lie with him. If she can withhold her body, then he can with hold everything else from her. (Love, kindness, tender words, support, affection)

      Why do women think in their hearts that it's their prerogative to refuse their men?

      There are times, yes, but to say your body does not belong to him, is the same as him saying his body does not belong to you.

  • The condom and the pill created hookup culture.

    Without that, people would be getting pregnant and disease addled all the time, and would have to abstain when they otherwise wouldn't have.

  • Call me old fashioned but I court women not hookup with em I date not to get laid but to find a suitable women to marry.

  • i've been having similar problems with you ladies. there is something to be said about the culture shift but you just need to be picky and hold out for what you want. Don't hookup until you know you both share the same intentions, don't accept hookup dates only go out if it's a true date and eventually you'll find someone who is like minded.

    • Thanks for the advice!

What Girls Said 2

  • Well it could be your personality, the way you dress, the guys you hang out with. I would not blame it on culture. I mean no offense by this but I'd blame it on you. I really don't mean offense, just saying my opinion.

  • There's a reason 50% of marriages fail: It's all about me attitude.

    • Thank you for answering, I do believe that is true. However, I'm having trouble understanding how that relates to the question I asked. Could you please elaborate?