Okay, so I'm asking this because I've stooped to an all time low with my bf. Just recently I made up a fb profile to see if my bf would flirt back with the girl. I went to the fullest extent, between pictures and filling out "her" profile. It was bad and I still can't believe i'm that pathetic to do that. Now my bf doesn't trust me, and he thinks i'm a physcho lol I fucked up so bad. How can I beat my insecurities? He makes me feel really insecure to begin with...My friends think he drove me to do that but I disagree..I shouldn't have been snooping around and I shouldn't have trapped him like that, its wrong. I need to find another way to handle things..I think the reason why I did that was to get reassurance that he still loves me since he doesn't show it..I'm not sure, but I want to stop feeling like this because I know he loves me but whenever we fight he says stuff like "You ugly fat cunt! "You're useless" "This is my house, do you think you matter?" "Your gross, no wonder why I don't wanna fuck you"...I could go on, but he says all those things and much more than turns around and says I'm sorry baby, i was just mad, you know that...
Another reason why I feel insecure is because we never have sex anymore..we have sex like 5 times a month and we have to do it before my time of the month..I take showers, i'm clean down there..I'm great in bed or maybe not, idk.
So what can I do to stop feeling like this? I don't wanna keep worrying about the past and worrying about him talking to girls n shit because I know he loves me, I'm just being insecure and needy..He doesn't go through my things anymore or anything so that was messed up for me to do that...I complain about double standards but I did it too..
The one thing that made me upset about the FB thing was that he said "Thanks for lowering my self esteem..I thought a hot Puerto Rican chick was talking to me and thinking I was cute but it was you" Anyway, If anyone could help, thank you ! That'd be great (:
Most Helpful Girl
I won't sugarcoat this - trying to "trick" our boyfriend like that was not only very stupid but also absolutely not okay of you. And you really can't blame him for having lost his trust in you. But you seem to be aware of that already.
That being said, if he really calls you those terrible things during fights, you need to get away from him as soon as possible. Because as bad as it was what you did, calling you these things is inexcusable.
Let me summarize what I know about your relationship with him:
- He rarely ever feels like having sex with you, yet masturbates instead.
- You trust him so little that you go as far as to create an online undercover persona to "test" him behind his back.
- He has gone through your private things (you said he doesn't do that "anymore", so I'm assuming he did it before), which is as bad as what you did on FB.
- He has zero respect for you in general and insults you in the most degrading ways possible.
- You feel more and more insecure because of him.
Can you tell me one single good reason why you should stay together with him for one single additional day? And as harsh as it may sound - love is not a good reason in such a situation. People often love each other, but that doesn't mean being together with them is a healthy option.
I can only give you one simple piece of advice - end the relationship. I see no other solution for you, sorry.
You should learn to have more respect of yourself, and this is not going to be possible as long as you are with him (again, only judging from what I know from this and your other questions). And as far as I can tell, it'd be best for him as well. This is nothing but a toxic relationship for both of you and you are ruining each other.
You are young and look stunning. You should enjoy your love and sex life. And he should too. Stop being stuck in frustration and disappointment and start exploring the satisfying, fulfilling, and exhilarating parts of life. :)1