Do girls at my age find guys who are too mature boring and not worth dating?

Im a person who doesn't do drugs, is not interested in flashy cars, raves, concerts and gets drunk easily. Is that a turn off to girls my age?

I'm more mature than most people my age im 22 a lot of people i've talked to me have said I have a wise head on young shoulders.

That's fine for money and career problems, however it doesn't help me in the dating game and it can be seen as boring or stale

Do girls find this unattractive or am I dating the wrong age group and should venture a different gap?

Updates:
Should I just join the crowd?
Sorry for the late reply guys, apparently this was deleted because it was a "nonsense question" but it came back for some reason?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I myself am 21, and I find myself going for guys several years older than me because every guy in my age range is so immature. None of them seem to have their lives together and they're ok with that. As a girl, I look for a guy that can take care of me in the long run. If you're working retail part time, still living in your mom's house and then when you take me to dinner you loudly state that you need to transfer money from your savings just to pay for dinner (yes I'm speaking form experience) it's not attractive or desirable. It's a major turn off that every guy my age is like that. We are at the age that we are essentially looking for a mate to marry. As a female, I am looking for a stable male with a decent grown up job who is mature and I feel can support me. Girls don't want a guy that comes into the relationship with so little ambition and no life goals. No girl wants to have a guy that she has to support because he can't grow up.

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What Girls Said 57

  • I'm 27 and I've never been interested in that stuff you listed. And, I know for myself it makes
    me feel like no one will ever want to date me. Especially since, people seem to put a lot
    or merit on alcohol and I just don't see the point. But, this is about you. So, I don't think
    there's anything wrong with being young and mature. It's a good thing. I think a good balance, is nice.
    Like don't be afriad to be the mature person you are, but at the same time don't be afriad to
    be a little immature, like laughing at dumb joke or something.

    I'm a huge believer in a person not having to change who they are, to attract the
    opposite gender. I know right now you're having a hard time dating. But, just keep being
    yourself and you'll eventually find someone who accepts you as you are. And, remember.
    It's always better to be yourself, then it is to be someone you're not.

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  • No I love the fact their are people like this. And I wish their was a lot more. I do not party or care for it dont like drugs I like people that can be serious! That focusinf on making things happen your on the right path and it better that your doing this now and you know what you want. I wish I can meet more people like you. I do meet but I end up talking to adults that are mature and have it together.

    But I dont think you would be boring do you at least joke around? Or something? Like how serious are you? Beside that you take your responsibilities and you do the right things and not like most people that party fool around etc.

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    • But no their arw girls our age that feel the same just need to be patient enough to wait for what you want. But if you like older girls that also fine too nothing wrong with that

    • I joke around, not really serious easy going but as soon as I say I've never been to a rave/concert done drugs etc thats when the eyes roll happen

    • If that all then your fine. Dont change your self. You love you right? Then many people will love you too! The right people come in place and accept you for you. I dont relate to people that wanna party or drugs it noty thing it cool that they wanna. But I knownwhat I like and I have friends that like what I like. Sure I have two friends that smoke and like to party etc but they respect me and still my friend. And I dont care for the smoking but it their decision tho. We tell each other what we feel and do what we want. So you do what you feel is right for you.

  • Haha to be honest, I'm in the same boat right now. I'm 21, living on my own, working full time, paying bills, and just sort of living like an adult. Get one alcoholic drink during dinner maybe and that's it. But the guy I'm in love with is in college and likes to go to parties and get pass-out drunk. He finds me boring :P And I'm pretty sure that's why we broke up.

    Anyway, don't let it bother you. Just find a girl who's mature like you are. :)

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  • Don't join the crowd, stand out from it.
    I feel the same way, I'm only 19 but I often feel like I'm in my late 20's, a lot of people think I'm older than I am regardless of my "baby face".

    I don't mind going out but I would rather stay at home reading or doing something constructive with my mind and money. Maybe the right girl is just doing that, and that's why you can't find her? haha
    Don't change because the most unattractive thing is when a guy isn't confident and/or genuine.
    Maybe go with the flow and focus just living life and the right girl will follow. :)
    Good luck!

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  • its not about the age its about the personality of the girls you are looking to attract it depends on their interests and what they would want on their checklist or the type of guy they would usually go for. You should never change yourself for somebody.
    Also if you have a good personality and are funny you dont need to take drugs or be a heavy drinker to be seen as a fun person.
    Girls find confidence the most attractive of all and insecurity is not attractive so try to be confident in who you are and it will show through.

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  • No way! My bf and I are both really responsible. Both work, dont go out much. Save money. We are basically 30 years old for a 19 and 21 year old. From my experiences girls like men who know what they want and take care of business. You're the kind of guy a girl can build a future with. When it comes down to it, no girl will want to be with a partier who goes out and blows money too much. Its fine to go out from time to time, but in the end women want to know they have a man that will take care of them. You just need someone more on your level. They are out there.
    by the way Age says NOTHING about maturity. I'm way more mature than 40 yr olds who've been doing this way longer.

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    • I know what you mean I've met a lot of people 35+ who are more immature than most kids which is really strange.

    • It really is. Age has nothing to do with maturity.

  • Whatever you do, do NOT join the crowd. I can very much relate to this question and to you because I am in the same boat. I'm 18, but I have no interest in "partying", drugs, drinking.. I'm mainly just focused on my career and I get along with guys much older than me because of maturity levels. I personally think it's a turn on when guys are mature like that and know what they want out of life instead of just saying "Fuck it, i'm young" and not care about what they do. It's a lot easier to connect and talk to guys who are more mature and it's not boring at all. Keep doing what you're doing!

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  • In your age rage people tend to go 'bad boys' You seem so nice. Is it a bad thing? Of course not. But we need maturity to understand it.
    Do you need to change your features? Of course not neither.
    You will wait till someone appreciates your features.

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  • You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and I think you'll do just fine finding someone to date who is attracted to you. Girls are a lot more mature than guys but at 22 most girls just want to have fun and drink and go out with their boyfriend or with friends, but like you said you are more mature then people your age so you should maybe look for someone who is a couple years older then you and who is out of the party age and is ready to settle down if that is what you are ready for. I am the same way and I'm more mature then people my age which makes it hard for me to find someone to date or even find good friends. Good luck on your search!

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  • People used to tell me the same thing when I was 18 - you have a good head on your shoulders - lol I still find parties, bars, clubs or whatever else there is extremely boring and ridiculous so yes there are girls out there like you and would love to date a guy like you. Do not fret, my dear she is out there...

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  • you can be a mature person. I am 22, and people tell me all the time i have the maturity of a 30 something year old. But I am still fun, I have a sense of humor, and i know when and how to at my age at appropriate times and when to be mature. You see some people think being serious all the time or can only be that way, and call themselves too mature

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  • No... I don't think the age matters at all... you seem mature... my BF had the same issue actually... we met when he was 23... and he wasn't into most younger women... mostly because he's an older man trapped in a younger mans body... he's actually more mature than me and I'm 4 years older than him. So... it may be worthwhile to find an older woman... but really... I don't think it's about age... there are a lot of girls that are 22 or younger who are very mature and would be compatible with you. Keep an open mind

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  • I'm 20, and guys who actually have their shit together are the only guys I consider dating. I've done a lot of things with my life already and recently landed my dream job; I know exactly where I'm going with my life and I'll do whatever it takes to achieve my goals. So yeah, I know how it feels, OP; guys my age just don't seem interested at all.

    My advice? Hold out for a girl around your age who has the same ideals and vision as you do; that may mean you have to wait a little while, but at some point, most girls will smarten up and realize that a stable lifestyle is what's most important. Or then look hard for a young, mature girl - they're usually not terribly obvious.

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    • I think ill take option B but like you said there not that obvious and common thats for sure.

  • If you're mature, but you have fun every once in a while, then any girl will fall for you. By "have fun every once in a while" i mean by you break the rules every so often, you don't always follow the rules.

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  • Doesn't sound bad at all. I'm 21 and most of what you stated I can't stand or just not interested.
    I think a lot if mature girls like mature guys. Although for me, he has to be able to move around. Like at least a bit athletic. I like outdoors and hiking and moving around so a guy who sits on his bottom all day may feel like an anchor. Especially if he isn't even old.

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  • im 23 and there are females who like this type of guy but im far too adventurous and wish to move my body. i love traveling and salsa dancing and dancing around fires and kissing in the middle of a lightning storm. im the kind of woman who likes an adventurous man who i can grow old with and enjoy the beauty and fulfillment of the life I've lived. successful is nice if you're a house wife of orange county. but im more of a morticia and gomez i guess lol. it all depends on your approach. since your not into the social scene you may want to try online dating.

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    • you sound more of a travelling naturalist

  • As long as you can hold up a conversation and make me laugh then nothing else will matter. There are guys who do all that and just give me one worded answer or one sided answers and its all too boring for me. I'd rather have a mature guy who can be my rock than some drunk idiot. Never liked those anyways.

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  • Well ironically I am younger and I like that. I am not a party girl at all. Fun shouldn't be only about partying or getting drunk like some think. there are many other things. Do not join the crowd, you're good like this. I wish there were more guys like you. If you don't find a girl now, you will later. Be yourself.

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  • You shouldn't have to feel like you have to change in order to be with someone. It's always nice to do things that your significant other likes even if you don't once in a while to show that you don't mind doing them in order to spend time with him/her. I'm 18 and I hear from people a lot that I'm mature for my age. I don't like smoking and if I go out to drink I only want one or two. And I do love attending concerts but I would never force the guy I'm dating to take me to things that I know he wouldn't enjoy but it would make me feel special if he decided to do it anyways with me even when I know he doesn't normally like to

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  • Don't feel you have to change yourself to fit in. It's refreshing to see a guy at 22 who is mature and there are women not girls, who would appreciate that.

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  • what age group are you dating?
    I would be happy to have a guy like you

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  • It sounds like you just haven't found the right girl yet! Stay true to who you are and what makes you happy. I view maturity as a positive in guys, but will admit to also enjoying guys who are a little on the wild side. But just because you're mature doesn't mean you can't have exciting passions or adventures.

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  • If you're interesting and have good humor, then you've got all you need. Drugs, alcohol, and parties are fun and a good way to meet the type of girls you probably have nothing in common with, so don't worry about it.
    I think its a turn off when a guy is a partier tbh

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  • No! Stick to who you are (: There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows what he wants and isn't out doing sketchy shit all the time. Mature guys are the way to go (: Dont change for anyone.

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  • Don't just join the crowd. Be yourself so you'll actually find a girl that is into you. A lot of girls wouldn't be into you but that's fine, that narrows down the list of girls you may date so you don't have to waste your time looking for the one. Personally, I am more attracted to mature men, and there are plenty of other women that are into that too. Be patient, my friend.

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  • i normally do... i find 18-24 annoying, spoilt, still like kids.. but there will be an exception.. its like 1/1000000. normally i dont even bother to that age group at all. soz ! :))

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  • Girls in your age group are not the smartest. I say look for the girls who have a good idea of what they want to do. Also if they're independent that's even better. They are the best choice for you trust me.

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  • Be yourself because I think most women prefer a man who isn't trying to be something other than himself. You could try dating women 25+. Did you mean you do or do not drink?

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    • Im a social drinker but I get drunk easily because I never drink unless I'm in a group or having a chat.

    • Ok. I was just confused by how it's written in the post. I'd be careful with not getting too drunk. No girl I know likes slobbering drunk guys approaching them. ( not to suggest you do this )

    • To answer your question, no, I don't think that is boring ;)

  • Yes. They are not bold and spontaneous. 😞

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  • If you have confidence and take care of your physical appearance (like looking clean, wearing decent clothes), I find your type of profile extremely attractice

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    • what are decent clothes in your opinion?

  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 25

  • What I find is that the women who are into your type seem to end up going for older guys in their high 20's to 30's because they have this silly idea that age = maturity level and combined with the false notion that "guys mature faster" instead of actually examining people they stereotype.

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    • I find that funny seeing as I work in an industry with age groups from all ranges. And I can tell you age does not mean maturity at all.

    • Where I work I totally see the same thing. But telling that to these types of girls out there is pointless nowadays.

    • ALmost like telling them hey your not going to change a guy by being with him

  • I think the reality is that girls who like 22 year old guys tend to like wild carefree 22 year old guys. That's true whether they are 22 or 30.

    Your being 'sensible' seems dull or even like you're still being a good little boy at your age. It will come across as maturity more with age.

    22 year old girls who like maturity will like you more in 10 years then they do now.

    It's not hopeless at your age by any means. These aren't black and white rules. Just confirming that there's some truth in it.

    You might be better off dating a younger but mature girl who finds guys her own age immature.

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    • You hit the nail on the head however a younger girl or a girl same age as me who's level headed is a hard find..

  • Funny I'm the same way but older but when growing up I never did any of that.. I mean my friend asked me to go but I declined.. so I've noticed now that I will be 30 in November I'm having a whole bunch of girls around 25 interested in my now.

    I've been picky myself but in the last 4 years a bit less.. but finding someone who is not sloppy and loud is pretty hard given the way most women are today without manners..

    Now I have friken 17 year old females thinking they can talk back to whoever they wish.

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    • my generation of "cool kids"

  • Are you saying you do or do not get drunk easily? Because getting drunk easily wouldn't be considered a sign of maturity where I've been.

    If what you have is legitimate maturity, it isn't a turn-off for women. You will still have to ask out a lot of them, though.

    Some people call maturity what is actually cynicism, which involves saying such things as "Why are people such idiots" or "People will do anything to get ahead" and also deride popular tastes in order to appear knowledgeable.

    If you are truly mature, however, you likely just haven't been around the people who respond to that, or you intimidate some of them unintentionally.

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    • Get drunk easily, I'm a social drinker so im a cheap date.

      No I come across as a 22 year old that knows how to move in the workforce can easily talk to people beyond my years regardless of age/gender/race. Have a lot of responsibilities for my actions etc. Whether or not that is "mature" in your book but I think you get what I'm trying to say

      hard to explain over message

    • Then I'm pretty sure you would qualify as mature. Maybe you've only gotten unlucky with talking and asking out girls. You might have to ask more than ten people to get a good answer, if you're just asking people with whom you haven't had a long friendship. But it always happens eventually.

  • I feel like there are a lot of girls that would be attracted to the type of person you are. You just have to look in the right places. I'd probably go to coffee shops or a bookstore if that's more of the type of person you are. Bars and clubs are definitely a no.

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    • coffeeshops and bookstores arn't exactly courting spots

  • It's seen as boring by girls who are into that kind of thing - the girls you don't want anyway. You just have to find girls who aren't into that.

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  • From MY experience most young girls like bad boys and the danger risk taking attitude they have. I've also been told I have a "wise head on young shoulders" although I think it seems boring in my opinion to most women in their late teens or twenties.
    I think once they get hurt a few times and realise these guys mostly are not suitable long term prospects that nice guys get a chance.

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    • Yeah I find it funny too that the danger risk attitude practically consists of being a delinquent and a shit stain to society really

  • Don't trade that wisdom for cheap companionship. The girls that see you as boring are probably the same ones that would've left you worse off.

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  • Hey man, I'm the same way. I don't drink, do drugs. I am more of a mellow, laid back/reserved kind of guy. Sometimes I feel like I'm boring as well, I know how you feel. But trust me, the qualities that you mention are things that girls our age look for. Believe it or not, being mature is something that a lot of girls our age find attractive. As long as you can loosen up and have fun from time to time, everything is fine :D

    Like I said, I'm the same way so I know exactly how you feel. It's not all bad man, trust me. You'll find the one.

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    • I guess it depends on the "extent" I drink but drugs never would touch that shit, however once some girls get wind of that it's almost like a party killer.

    • I worded that wrong, I don't do drugs haha.

      But yeah like other people said, it's ok to have fun sometimes. You just gotta loosen up a little.

  • Why join something stupid when you can clearly just look at it and say that it's stupid? Would you date someone who doesn't see how stupid these stupid things are? I sure would not.

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    • I agree. I'm called mature too for my age too. It's really not a big deal if we're not into making fools of ourselves. It's not fun, don't change.

  • I'm just like that just a little younger (16) I'm lucky with girls I'm 6.5" athletic and good looking and girls in the most part fall for me maybe they even like it that I'm responsible I have never been drunk in my life or been to any concert aside from classical music enjoy a good book from time to time and pretty much a family type of guy.

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  • Being mature doesn't mean you dont drink or do drugs or shit like that. Look, my mom has cacncer, my father works 16 hours a day i have a little sister and a pitbull (who is sick at the moment) I've finished school and im going to IT faculty now, I make sure my mom drinks her medicine and i also do that for my dog and i feed him cuz everyone is scared of him. I make sure my little sister doesn't see our mom in the worst moment, make sure she eats, i help her with her homework and i also keep house clean. I smoke half a pack a day, and on the weekends i get shit wasted or high. Yes, Im with different girl every weekend but thats just because i can't find someone for a real relationship. About half a year ago i had a relationship and it lasted for 2 years. I was a good bf, never cheated and i treated her like a godess. Im 19. So, you r not mature u r borin.

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  • I am interested to read what women will say here since this is really a girl question I can't really answer lol. Maybe try a cougar? Lol only problem with cougars are they are rare to find. =(

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    • Been there done that ;), relationship worked out fine got along real well till we realized our "life goals" arn't at the same time. (asking for kids)

  • Do what you find fun, and are comfortable with. You'll find someone with similar taste and you both can have you own little adventures together.

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  • It depends on the kind of girl. I'm exactly the same, many girls said I'm boring, but frankly.. they're boring to me too. It's relative, and finding compatibility.

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  • Trust me man I'm like you and one of the reasons my girlfriend said she went out was me was because she said I'm not like other guys, and when she asked me why she basically said because I was mature she wasn't scared about jumping into a relationship with me and me bothering her for sex within the first week. She felt more secure basically so depending on the type of girls you are dating will just depend on the response you get.

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  • Probably for the most part but drugs and parties is fun temporarily. You shouldn't do drugs to find girls. Long term: If you do drugs, you should find a girl that does drugs. Short term it doesn't matter. I'm 25 and I have an easier time because who are 19 talk like they're 19. So if you talked to 19s for 4 years, by the 5th you should be good at talking to 19s.

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  • carry on being you, I'm 16, look 20 and feel it, I know how you feel being around a bunch of jerks. But I'm becoming a commercial airline pilot and they aren't, I've held it out in school and i'm soon to fly..

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  • You sound very immature to me. Don't worry about being overly mature.

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  • No, I just think you have bad luck like me.

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  • No, but they do write you off because you're not old enough to be mature. They just assume you aren't mature and go for older guys. The ones that would go for guys your age aren't looking for "mature" guys. It's stupid, but that's what I've seen.

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  • You could just get real creative with the date (s)...

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  • The question is "What kind of girls are you trying to attract?" Certainly, the kind of wild lifestyle you described would attract girls of a certain kind.

    Me myself, I'm happy with being mature, pragmatic and grounded. And I want to find a girl like that too, who espouses my lifestyle and my principles too.

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  • How do you really know that they are not interested in flashy cars and going to concerts? I think the important thing here is to ask questions and hint around to the men you are interested in about events that are coming up. I'm sure that ANY decent man out there will want to go with you if you give hints.

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    • I'm not interested in men

  • Short answer, yes... because I'm in the same boat. But yes, that's pretty much true.

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