Why doesn't any guy want to have a relationship with me? They want either only sex or friendship?

Try to put long story short. I'm 24 and have never had an actual boyfriend. I'm seriously starting to think that there is something wrong with me. Why doesn't anyone see me as a potential longterm girlfriend?

I have lots of friends, I'm kind, smart, fun to be around. I'm cute, I have a nice style, college education, successful career... I'm not a drama queen, mean girl or shallow.

My male friends say that any guy would be lucky to have me. That I'm 'wife-material'. Obviously they are not attracted to me, though. The other guys that I meet only want to have sex with me. They are not interested in getting to know me. We can go on a few dates but that's it, they lose interest.

And I'm not needy, desperate or crazy. I like being single. It's just that I'm wondering why I have NEVER had a relationship... Anyone any thoughts? :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Perhaps you might look at dating guys a little bit older who can appreciate you (guys who are over 30 and have been out in the world working for some time instead of these college types). Could be guys at your age are only looking for an easy lay or are intimidated by you and your success.

    You sound like an amazing girl!! I only wonder if maybe when you go out on dates do you talk about serious intellectual topics that turn these people off and maybe you need more flirting skills?

    by the way there is nothing wrong with you, you are just that gem waiting to be discovered :)

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    • Thank you! :) I think I mostly meet 'wrong guys' indeed, meaning that they are probably not interested in having a relationship. When I go out there is always a bunch of guys hitting on me. But they always lose interest if I'm not up to sleeping with them... And yes I've noticed that older guys are also interested in me but it's the same thing there, they seem to be interested in only sleeping with me. I don't think I'm overly sexual or anything like that. Yes I dress femininely and flirt with guys but I'm not cheap or anything.

      And on dates I usually discuss the normal stuff - life in general, interests, traveling,.. I have dated all kind of men, blue and white collar guys and good looking and average looking. They all say that I'm a really nice lady but that they don't feel the chemistry (and still they are interested in sleeping with me but when I say no, I never hear from then again)

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    • Good luck!!! :)

    • You sound too good to stay single for long!!! Keep me posted!!!

What Guys Said 10

  • Are you a very busy person who enjoys lots of different activities all the time and almost constantly out doing things? I had a friend who was like that, she was a girl. Very nice, attractive person, fun to be with, lot of friends. But she was an adrenalin junky! To busy for me. Too busy for most "regular" guys too! The only guys she seemed to attract where ones that also could not stay still and had to move around all the time and being something. These guys always bounced from one girl to the next. It was just the crowd she ended up with the kept producing that type of guy.

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  • You're situation is never so unique as to be considered a hick-up in the system. What ever the underlying cause is, it's something about you or something you do, it all makes things the way they are.

    The good news is that if it you whose causing your own situation, obviously you do have the power to change it...

    The first step to solving any problem is identifying it.

    Don't ask us because we don't know you.

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  • You just need to meet the right guy. Wheb you do then you'll knoww. In this age it seems like everyone just wants sex and nothing else. To have a fruitful relationship is really amazing and you'll get it if you just keep looking. The guy might come to you, but be adventurous and you'll findhim quicker.

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  • How do you KNOW none of your guy friends aren't attracted to you? A lot of guys are too shy to tell a girl, particularly if they think she will freak out and mess up the friendship.

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    • Well I don't know for sure about them all, but I had feelings for a good male friend, and he told about it. He didn't feel the same way, we're still good friends though. I also asked a colleague out but he said he just wants to be friends with me (well, I found out later that he is gay so i guess that explains something). But I don't really think my friends that way either, it's just that they want either sex or friendship (or both) but not a relationship.

  • I think guys aren't interested in relationship at dis age. They wanna stay single and keep on getting laid until they had enough experience with different holes. They tryna be playas u know. Juz gotta becareful if u dont wanna get hurt at da end...

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  • you are not meeting the right guys

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  • Just give it time and the mistakes will come

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  • if they're saying you're wife material, they like you. your friends LIKE YOU

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    • Sure they like me, but as a friend. They are not attracted to me... Always when they broke up or something they say things like "You would be such a good girlfriend, you would never behave like she did." But they don't see me that way (well, some of them have tried to make out with me or something like that but just because they felt lonely I think)

  • Are you sure your friends wouldn't date you? You should seriously ask.

    Also, sex = relationship.

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    • I had a crush on one of my male friends once. He didn't share the feelings. And I don't think sex equals to relationship if you don't do other things together...

    • Are you around a 7/10? That would explain a lot.

  • Are you what is euphemistically referred to as a "strong, independent woman"?

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    • Haha, you think that's why? Well I am strong and independent but also sweet, sensitive and compassionate.

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    • Depends on the woman, but a few common ones are "chip on her shoulder", "something to prove", "doesn't need a man", "career oriented / not family oriented", "ball buster".

      Just generally not what a guy who is looking for a serious relationship would find attractive.

    • Haha, well I get that.

What Girls Said 1

  • Why doesn't any guy want to have a relationship with me? They want either only sex or friendship?
    I highly doubt it is the extreme of 'any guy'. Though the reason is possibly that most guys seemingly do not desire a relationship as it appears the only guys or most of the guys that go around seeking relationships are ones with no to little sexual options.

    Perhaps it's suited to date much older guys as they would likely be more into settling down for a much younger gal considering how it seems guys highly value youth.

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