How to ask this girl out for coffee?

There is this girl that I see a couple times a week in class and I have wanted to ask her out but I'm not exactly sure how to do it.

I'm a shy guy and I don't ask a lot of women out (only asked 2 out in the last 6 years) and there is this girl that I have been talking to a bit for the past 3 weeks and I really want to ask her out but I'm wondering if I should ask her out with a question like "Would you like to go grab a coffee sometime?" or more of a statement "We should go grab a coffee sometime?".

She is a lot different than any other girl I have talked to before normally I am really shy and don't talk a lot around people I am uncomfortable with but I don't have a problem talking with her which really told me that she is special. I am really nervous about this and I want to make sure it goes well.

I wanted to ask her last week but there was someone else walking with us and I was to nervous to ask her but I am going to have an opportunity tomorrow to ask her when its just the two of us and I wanted to find the best way to ask her.

I seem to be getting the vibe that she likes me also but I am not 100% sure if she does or she is being nice. I have asked a couple women out before and they have said they have boyfriends (whether that is true or not I don't care) but if she says she has a boyfriend how can I respond to not sound disappointed.

tl;dr - Should I asked her out with a question "Would you like to go grab a coffee sometime?" or a statement "We should go grab a coffee sometime?".

And how can I respond if she says she has a boyfriend and not sound disappointed?

Sorry this is so long if it was anyone else I would just ask but this girl is different.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe before you ask her out, you can find out if she has a boyfriend. You could ask her something like, "so - is there a special guy in your life at the moment?"

    If she does have a boyfriend, hopefully she'll think you were only asking in a friendly way and not realise you were going to ask her out. At least that way you can keep talking without falling into an awkward silence.

    If you find out she's single/available:
    Ask the question, "Would you like to go grab a coffee with me sometime?" It sounds less demanding and will make her feel more comfortable than feeling like she's being told what to do.

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    • Have you asked her out yet?

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    • She said the same thing before when I asked if she wanted to go grab a coffee sometime. This time I picked a day and she said I will let you know.

    • It's great that you asked her again :)

      Well, since you picked a day this time, you at least know when you can expect a definite answer by. So you won't be left hanging for a long time. Good idea to just let her tell you when she's figured out her answer, because that way she has time to think clearly about it without feeling pressured.

      I remember last year when I was doing full-time uni, a part-time job, volunteer work and socialising - well, I really was very busy, and even when a guy I was interested in asked me out, I really did struggle to fit it into my schedule! Maybe she is telling you the truth.

      Just keep being nice and friendly without asking her if she's made a decision yet :)

What Girls Said 2

  • You sound really sweet, just say ''hey let's go grab a cup of coffee."

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  • I think definitely ask if she is in some kind of relationship first but I think the best way is to just come out and say "hey do you want to grab a coffee sometime?"
    Good luck!

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What Guys Said 0

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