Why does the guy I'm dating point out all these little details about my appearance? Most of which are negative?

He treats me really well in general and is very affectionate with me. We have been dating about 4 months now. Over all i'm very happy with him. However, he has been pointing out details about me that make me insecure feeling.

For example, he thinks I wear too much make up (meaning foundation). I wear this to cover up the acne I have. Then when I don't wear make up he jokingly pokes fun at the zits I do have. Most recently, I have some sun spots under my eyes show up because I had gotten a sunburn the other week so he pointed that out too. He isn't doing this in a mean way but it makes me uncomfortable.

Why is he picking me apart like this? What does it mean when a guy notices all these little details? Why does he care so much?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • to show that you're human. you have flaws, and that you don't really need to cover them up. we like you for your imperfections

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    • I always respond back to him and say well I'm not perfect and I can't help it. He never has said that he likes me for my imperfections so how do I know that is the case?

    • just know that it is. or get him to tell you somehow. u could go the direct route and just ask him why he always points them out, butttt do you have the courage to is the question

    • I'm not scared to ask him anything. We have really good communication but I just felt odd the more I thought about it at work today as to why he continues to point these things out. Next time I see him I'll just ask. Or I thought about saying well find a different girl with perfect skin to date. Just to see how he would react.

What Guys Said 4

  • He wantts you to look better.
    Tell him there is nothing you can do about it and it isn't nice when he says it.

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    • Well the thing is I can't tell if he is just joking around because he knows that is all he can make fun of me for (the small bit of acne I do have that comes on occasion / new sun spots that came as a result of the proactive). I am told all the time that I look like a barbie doll and can have any guy I want. (Not to sound full of myself but I've never had trouble getting dates/male attention. He knows this too.)

    • Same answer. If you dont like how he jokes with you then tell him. My friends joke saying "motherfucker" i dont like it and i tell them they respect it and never use it with me. Same idea applies to you.

  • Simple thing to do is respond back to him in a joking manner and squeeze his hand straight after to show you are joking and up for abit of game. It'd show that you are not a simple push over and would set how you feel about him saying those things to you. May you please take a shot ant answering my question please? If not then all the best :)

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  • He does this as a type of control, to make you think you are not good enough for anyone else, he is a control freak, this is just one way they show it, trying to make you feel thankful for his attention...

    Give him an ultimatum , to stop, and if he does not kick him to the cuerb... this might hurt cause you probably love him, but the hurt in the short term will be wiorth the fun and pleasure and enjoyment you will get from a real man.. or woman... hey it's 2014 who knows

    Joe

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    • I think this guy here has it.

    • Originally in the beginning of this whole dating deal he said that he thinks I'm too good for him and that I can have any guy that I want etc. So now once he has me why is he picking me a part? I keep telling him I'm not perfect and if he wants someone perfect then he needs to look elsewhere.

    • I agree. Sounds like maybe this guy is trying to make you insecure on purpose so you feel like you can't get any better than him and so you want his approval.

  • Tell him to love you as Christ loves the church my spin his head around a few times.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes guys don't realize how their jokes or "fun" hurt a girl. They just see it as playing around and don't realize that it is insulting or hurtful. I would talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.

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    • I'm leaning towards this too. Maybe if I tell him directly to knock it off that I really feel uncomfortable about it then he will stop.

    • Yeah! I doubt he's doing it to purposefully hurt you! He probably just doesn't realize he's doing it!

  • Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable?

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    • In a roundabout way I have but I don't think he took me seriously anyways. It's not like he is saying it in a mean way. I mean I have very little acne but all of this caused me to buy proactive. Then tonight after work I thought about buying stuff to reduce these sunspots. It's just silly why I let it bother me so much. I obviously want to be up to his standards but I shouldnt' have to change myself. (Even though it's just little self improvement details)

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    • True. I just don't understand why he is doing this. In the beginning he kept saying that he felt like I was too good for him and now he is doing this. Just doesn't make sense.

    • Since he said that and is doing this now, it sounds like he is belittling you. You are too good for him if he wants to be child.

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